Scared
 

Over 5 years ago I quit drinking. It was easy to do for the most part as I just told myself it wasn't an option. Then on a trip we decided to have some fun and had a drink, but returning to sobriety seemed so easy again. But then recently I've found a few occasions where drinking was the norm. After 5 years I must be cured of the control alcohol had over me, right?

Fast forward a month. Every 4th night a glass of wine or 10. Was up late with I'll children and rewarded myself with indulging and being completely obnoxious. I used to be so proud of who I was, my sobriety, and held my head high. Now I wonder if I reek like leftover wine, am ashamed that I don't want to go out with friends anymore since they know i "don't drink" and am afraid id cave...

Today I'm back to day one after realizing it's a problem. I'm home with a sick child and a racing brain wondering how I let things crumble, how I gave up the greatest gift I could give my children, how I risk my marriage since he has no clue why I can't have one glass of wine at dinner.

Feeling lost and scared and embarrassed and hopeless...and broken.

Ps. Is my email address shown to members or is that confidential?

:welcome

You'll find lots of support here--read around and post often!

(And your email address is never displayed.)

No, your email address will never be shown to members. :)

I'm sorry that you slipped back into drinking. You had some solid recovery and you can get back to that again. Don't let the shame and guilt push you back into drinking. Good for you on Day 1.

Welcome Trying. The good news is you know how to live sober and you are absolutely capable of it. Did you use any external support at all during those years? SR itself is a wonderful place, glad you have found us.

Welcome to SR Trying

Nice to meet you

I had 54 sober days in a row...had one drink...lead to many. which led to being sent home from work for being intoxicated.

Thought wow that escalated quickly...so I'll stop again. went back to AA. Got 30 straight sober days..didnt learn from before...thought let's TRY drinking again.

2 day mini binge...led me to hospital. blacked out on subway platform. Luckily didn't harm myself or anyone else.

I'm 19 days sober now my alcoholism doesn't stop if I don't drink for a period of time.

I've learned the hard way. :tapping I'm scared of drinking as well.

Glad you're here. Welcome to SR.

Welcome to the Forum Trying!! You'll find loads of support here on SR!! :wave:

Congratulations on returning to sobriety. Be proud of yourself for realizing that you needed help again.

Hey Trying1978,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome. I think you'll find this forum to be a great resource.

Quote:

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Today I'm back to day one after realizing it's a problem

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You've come to the realization that there is a problem and came here to move forward. That's a pretty great start.

I think many people who don't suffer from alcohol problems wonder how come we can't just have 'one' drink. I look at them and wonder how they can.

I look forward to seeing you around often.

I'm in the same boat. My heart is racing with anxiety, guilt, I don't want to ever drink again, but I'm so scared because I keep falling.

welcome. you'll receive a lot of support here.


one thing i'd say is to ask for help when you are ready. you should not be hiding from your drinking you should take it out into the open and let everyone know that you are not drinking because you care about your health... those that truly love you will support you more than you know.

Hi Trying,

Welcome to SR

Thank you. I'm excited to get sober again but terrified of the little voice that tells me "just one glass won't hurt" or the feeling of desperation when my glass is half empty already making sure there's more lined up.

Afraid of the guilt , shame , and anxiety but most importantly afraid I'm doing this alone.

My wife and I quit drinking two years ago, and we had to have all the booze out of our home to be successful. Are you able to do this?

I am on day two, and I can so relate to everything you say. I am so ashamed, I am a Mom and one of my kids moved out due to my drinking, I still didnt stop . I am so sick of being hungover, and tired of being alone, feeling nothing, no connections, just want to run away. I hope you are having a better day today. I dont understand why I cant just have one glass of wine either, its so messed up.

Welcome to SR Trying1978 :)

D