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Old 10-20-2014, 11:44 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: BC Canada
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New here

Have read for almost 2 years. Yes two years and as I've read...he is still "showing" me who he is....

Am the supposed "girlfriend" of an addict, can't say "loved one" because his one and only true love is drugs. of course the "girlfriend" description is on again off again, between all the binges, addiction, affairs, deceptions, lies, deception, omissions, & illegal garbage...whatever status suited his current need for an ago or alternate body part being stroked.

I have two beautiful daughter (not his) that depending on if its him or the addict present , are still impacted on a daily/weekly/monthly basis by his addiction to sex/lies/drugs and mine to him(according to the couples counselor). He will either treat them like gold or steal from their piggy banks and be present or not.

It is embarrassing to admit how far gone things are and how foolish/fooled one has been, yet it is also very liberating to be a feeling, loving person and actually survive what loving an addict entails.

I battle daily with my heart and mind at odds... one should not have to "suffer" at the expense of the i do my best try to learn how to ensure I am meeting the needs of both... with or without the addict in my life.

With each passing day the hope that kept me going emotionally is taking a back seat to the logic. Am I perfect? hardly, but I am also not going to be blamed or a scapegoat for someones addiction.

I struggle with the "detach with love" and labels associated with having an addict in ones life.
Healthy boundaries? A work in progress. Honestly had those been in place I probably would not be in this situation.

In a nutshell I am a person who has spent far to much time and energy focusing on an addict who really honestly isn't all that interested in "recovery" or his "girlfriend" because ...heck there will always be and always has been another mark, addict, "random" there to give him a quick fix if he can't afford his DOC.
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Old 10-21-2014, 12:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR wishful..I'm sorry for your pain but I know you'll find support here.

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Old 10-21-2014, 12:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi Wishful04

Welcome to SR

I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.

- Hafiz

'we are spartans of Sobriety' - ThePatMan

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Old 10-21-2014, 12:55 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hello, Wishful04. Good to have you at SR. As the others have said, sorry for what you're dealing with but you have found a kind and supporting group of folks to offer an ear.
I realized I could probably go on drinking like this for maybe two or three more years, or live for another two or three decades...but not both. Suddenly the choice became crystal clear.
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Old 10-21-2014, 01:16 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi Wishful, welcome. Well done for reaching out, we are all supportive here and I'm sorry for you pain. I know what it is like to live with an addict.

There are areas for family and friends living with and dealing with addicts and alcoholics, have you had a look at those ?

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
NEW! 12-Step Support for Friends and Family - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Glad you have posted, you will find support here.
Stop trying to leave, and you will arrive.
Stop seeking, and you will see.
Stop running away, and you will be found.
-Lao Tzu.
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Old 10-21-2014, 02:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR here you will find support
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Old 10-21-2014, 10:14 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome to the Forum wishful!! You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
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