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Old 10-20-2014, 12:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Just feeling like an emotional mess today


I just feel crappy. Over the weekend my dh broke his heel bone in more than one place. He sees a surgeon tomorrow to see if he needs to have it all screwed back together. One of my cats is sick. I have to take her to the vet tomorrow. I am a little worried about money. We still owe a lot for the dentures he got in May and now with our deductibles, we're going to owe a LOT of money if he needs surgery. Vet bills. I broke a tooth which I'm waiting until after January 1st to have it looked at. I used up all my dental insurance for last year on a crown so I can't afford to pay for it myself. It has to wait. I have some other bills. Ugh!

Just feeling overwhelmed. the dh can't do much at home, he's on crutches right now so I'm running for him... not that I resent that. I don't... it's just adding to my stress. Besides my regular job which has been way too many hours every week I have a glass project with a deadline for a show coming up soon plus I need to get it photographed.

I just feel like royal crap today. Last night I contemplated picking up some booze... but it was past the time my closest liquor stores close (they close early on Sundays) and I didn't feel like driving to the grocery store so I said screw it. I was SOOOOO antsy I took a sleep aid and went to bed early.

I don't feel any better today. I'm still thinking about the booze, I'll be honest.
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:35 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I feel you. I've felt completely and utterly miserable today for no apparent reason but I know that I dont have to drink over it so long as I keep doing what I'm doing to stay sober.
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:40 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Glad you Posted Ellee - Remember where that one drink leads too....It will help your situation...only make it worse. Proud of you for posting...take care of you today, that is all you need to do. ((hugs))
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi Ella stay close to SR keep reading and keep posting to help take your mind off booze

I hope this helps

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:46 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi ElleDee ,
i'm sorry life is difficult … In the UK we sometimes say "it never rains it pours" …

Things will change with time , if you stay sober and keep on you give tomorrow the best chance at being as good a day you can .
Drinking can be like shooting ourselves in the foot …

Maybe it's time for some bubble bath or something just to treat yourself in a small way that isn't booze ?

Take care , m
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:51 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Plus... selfishly... if he needs surgery that's going to destroy some plans I had for the spring because we will for sure have to much debt for me to do any traveling. Right now the bills I have are already bothering me without adding to it. There were a couple of other things I wanted but it will all have to wait.

And it's not just that... trying to stay sober is, you know... a big challenge all by itself.

People are work are bugging me. B*tch, b*tch, b*tch!
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:54 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I know, I know... I'm feeling sorry for myself to day. Thanks for letting me just vent and whine. I appreciate it!
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:58 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hey ElleDee, sounds like its a rough day. Hope tomorrow is better! I'm feeling very panicky today for some reason. Just got back from a walk, it helped a bit. Hate days like these..
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
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dont go back to it, my day has been rough too, at the moment the only thing i have for sure is another day of sobriety under my belt, nearly, i tend to go to bed quite early these days, if you can stay away from it the you are rich in that respect every thing else will work its self out, relapse takes alot to come back from and if you have alot to cope with adding to it will not help or make it any easier. hope you feel better soon.
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:53 PM   #10 (permalink)
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must be goin' around.

seems to be a lot of it in the air lately. I have been really emotionally wrecked the past few days, my Lady has too. At a meeting today it seemed everyone was having big challenges.

This Too Shall Pass may seem like a cliche, but sometimes it's just what ya gotta fall back on!!

hang in there.
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Old 10-20-2014, 02:05 PM   #11 (permalink)
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its the time ofthe year my current neighbour is a renowned alternative therapist, she specialises in mood disorders for want of a better work and has always maintained october is crap for those who are suffering in some way, i would have dismissed this if it were not for some of the positive results that i have witnessed first hand, november soon!!
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Old 10-20-2014, 02:09 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Life gives us good days and bad days. We don't get to choose. Learning to deal with crap while sober is an art that takes some time. Stay sober no matter what! It will get better.
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Old 10-20-2014, 02:58 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Hang in there Elle!! Some days are gonna be tougher than others!!
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Old 10-20-2014, 03:35 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Life has it's ups and downs for sure...

Honestly though - I find the down times don't last as long now I'm drinking. I hope you'll find that too ElleDee

D
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Old 10-20-2014, 04:09 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Elle
seems like so many times i hit a block like you did and i just think alcohol is the easy way out of things. bill after bill after darn bill arrive. yea i had to make difficult decisions also. but it seems that buying a bottle seems like the easy way out and the best solution. but i know that it is not. terrible decision.
but glad you did not get that bottle.
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Old 10-20-2014, 04:20 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I feel you. I have been having a bad few days. Today I have been just miserable. I have been isolated in my sobriety. I go to a dead-end job day after day and come home to spent my evenings alone and tend to dwell on things.

I have been in recovery for three years but happiness has been so elusive. Lets keep plugging away!
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Old 10-20-2014, 06:27 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Hi Elle,
I'm glad you posted about how you're feeling; I think it's good to vent, you probably feel better already, just by getting it off your chest and saying it out loud!

It's hard sometimes to look at the bright side of things when you're feeling like crap, I know. Life can sure get overwhelming, especially when everything seems to happen all at once. The thing I always hear from people on this forum, and it's so true, is that you're still going to have all these issues whether you drink or not....but it would surely cause even more problems if you do continue to drink.

There are a few positive things, I got from your post, that might help to focus on, and just try to keep moving forward....

1) At least you still have your hubby, even though his foot is broken! Take it from someone who lost her husband many years ago, way too young, I would give anything to have him back, and would love to do extra running around for him. Give him a big hug, at least a 60 second hug, and you should both feel a little healing from that

2) You have a job! Some people are struggling and searching for a job, and even though it gets overwhelming, and you feel like bi*ching, try to concentrate on that fact for now...

3) It sounds like you are talented in glass design, to have a project that someone is so earnestly waiting for, that you have a deadline! Maybe you could focus some of that energy to create something beautiful-- sometimes the most unique and wonderful artistic designs come from a place of turmoil or sadness....

I feel for you, having a sick kitty, and I hope all goes well at the vet tomorrow. Trudging through one thing at a time, don't stress about what you cannot do today, and eventually you'll get to a time when you can relax a bit.

Please take care of you, too. Drinking seems to offer a reprieve from stress at the time, but you know, you still wake up the next day to the same ol' stuff

Best wishes on your sober journey! Keep on keepin' on!
~Heartfan
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Old 10-20-2014, 10:27 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Honey..of course you're thinking bout drinkin'.
Life hits hard and we want to "check out" of the madness.
The personal heroics come in ..when we endure and get through to the other side. That's how you make yourself proud of you...that's how we build emotional muscle and self esteem.
But I feel ya..
A number of times this past week while in my own turmoil, there is a song on my workout playlist by Creed that keeps taunting me...the lyrics "I'm 6 feet from the edge and I'm thinking..maybe 6 feet ain't so far down".
Although the tune seems to be alluding to a far more dark and final kind of checking out...it has been come some sort of drinking metaphor for me..

We have those moments where yes...we feel ..6 feet from the edge...where we want to almost plummet into the "giving up"...

You're on the edge...don't jump...don't bail...
Stay with us.
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