Forget inhibitions or social awareness drink takes away trust.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: London
Posts: 32
Forget inhibitions or social awareness drink takes away trust.
Today my wife has asked for a divorce, after everything i cannot blame her. Anyone married who is considering going back to the dark side remember you may as well have an affair the out come is the same, sould destrying destructive and almost always irretrievable.
still drinking tea, not even thought of a drink, staying strong for me now no one else.
still drinking tea, not even thought of a drink, staying strong for me now no one else.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Someone once taught me the following prayer. I don't know if you are a prayer-type guy, but if not, just the sentiment is very reassuring to me when I am in super-pain...
"Thank you god for what you have given me. Thank you god for what you haven't given me. Thank you god for what you have taken away."
What that means to me is to simply trust that it is happening with some purpose, and allow it, and stay on my path.
I've gone through two divorces. The one where I decided to leave was an empowering and growing experience. The one where I was left broke me into pieces, and - six years later - I still have gaping wounds.
You are strong enough to survive this. You can stay sober through this. You just never know what will happen next - through the pain and surviving and growing, something wonderful may emerge...
Take good care of yourself through this. The only way that you can ever repair this relationship (and by that I don't necessarily mean getting back together, but repair the friendship of it) will be to stay sober and become a safe, trust-worthy, sober and stable human being. Even if the relationship or friendship is irreparable, becoming the above repairs (slowly) any guilt you will feel about your part in this loss...
Hang in there!
"Thank you god for what you have given me. Thank you god for what you haven't given me. Thank you god for what you have taken away."
What that means to me is to simply trust that it is happening with some purpose, and allow it, and stay on my path.
I've gone through two divorces. The one where I decided to leave was an empowering and growing experience. The one where I was left broke me into pieces, and - six years later - I still have gaping wounds.
You are strong enough to survive this. You can stay sober through this. You just never know what will happen next - through the pain and surviving and growing, something wonderful may emerge...
Take good care of yourself through this. The only way that you can ever repair this relationship (and by that I don't necessarily mean getting back together, but repair the friendship of it) will be to stay sober and become a safe, trust-worthy, sober and stable human being. Even if the relationship or friendship is irreparable, becoming the above repairs (slowly) any guilt you will feel about your part in this loss...
Hang in there!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: London
Posts: 32
thank you all so glad i found this place, would havebeen the wrong side of a couple of bottles by now, but just not interested, cant see anypoint in letting myself down again. we still seem to be friends i just pushed the limit too many times, but when you are drinking you cant see it. clear focus is my daily inspiration rather than muddy memories and regret.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: London
Posts: 32
Not deeply religious myself but i am open to many different concepts, and would never dismiss something just because, what works for me is to take a little from a lot of sources and what you say makes absolute sense, sorry you still feel the way you do about your divorcr but i believe time is a healer, hope this helps 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 167
I can't believe my wife stuck with me. At one point in my life, which was not too long ago, I choose alcohol over her and my children. I have come a long way in a short time and she's taken notice and so have my children. I can't say things are perfect but they have improved a great deal since I quit drinking.
Maybe she will agree to a separation before pulling the plug? You can take time to work on yourself and demonstrate this is not just a temporary change. I understand she's tired of the promises and that's why demonstrating change works best. Tell her your choosing her over alcohol and show her. Stay strong and sober and best wishes to you.
Maybe she will agree to a separation before pulling the plug? You can take time to work on yourself and demonstrate this is not just a temporary change. I understand she's tired of the promises and that's why demonstrating change works best. Tell her your choosing her over alcohol and show her. Stay strong and sober and best wishes to you.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
I'm so very sorry for your pain Gotto...
We just need to keep on doing the right thing...keep going toward the light of sobriety. No matter what comes our way...what pain we think we cannot endure.
We must
For it is has been our inability to endure discomfort that has created such tremendous loss in our lives.
Thoughts are with you...heartache can be so horribly all consuming.
We just need to keep on doing the right thing...keep going toward the light of sobriety. No matter what comes our way...what pain we think we cannot endure.
We must
For it is has been our inability to endure discomfort that has created such tremendous loss in our lives.
Thoughts are with you...heartache can be so horribly all consuming.
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