harder than I thought
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: sherwood park
Posts: 19
harder than I thought
First post. First time joining something like this. Going on six days sober. First desire to drink came yesterday and has been on an off every couple hours since then. Fighting with the SO isn't really helping. I am sweating and shivering and shaky intermittently all day. I've had what I can only imagine are panic attacks. Twice today I grabbed my keys thinking screw it. I'm worse now than I was six days ago. But I didn't go anywhere. Feeling overwhelmed by the emotions and physical symptoms. Though I wasn't expecting this yo be easy I certainly didn't think there would be this many side effects. Can anybody relate ?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Early recovery is certainly not easy TheLayers...but everything you touched on is very familiar to me.
You may feel worse now but it won't always be this way - this is a transition phase - it gets better
I think support helps a lot, so I'm glad you joined us - welcome to SR
D
You may feel worse now but it won't always be this way - this is a transition phase - it gets better
I think support helps a lot, so I'm glad you joined us - welcome to SR
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Shaky? Yup. Panicky? Yupyup. Wanting to run away from it all? Here.
Anxiety and raw nerves are very common in the first couple weeks. Tough it out, remember how sucky it is and vow to never have to go through this again. It's going to be much better soon.
Welcome to the forums, and congratulations on taking back your life.
Anxiety and raw nerves are very common in the first couple weeks. Tough it out, remember how sucky it is and vow to never have to go through this again. It's going to be much better soon.
Welcome to the forums, and congratulations on taking back your life.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome TheLayers.
I'm sorry you're feeling miserable. It's to be expected in the early days, as Dee said. For me it took about 2 weeks to feel almost normal, but much longer to feel really good. Each day I felt a little better and brighter. We've beaten ourselves up & we need time to heal. You're doing a good thing by being here and distracting yourself by posting. You will get through this - and you never have to do it again.
I'm sorry you're feeling miserable. It's to be expected in the early days, as Dee said. For me it took about 2 weeks to feel almost normal, but much longer to feel really good. Each day I felt a little better and brighter. We've beaten ourselves up & we need time to heal. You're doing a good thing by being here and distracting yourself by posting. You will get through this - and you never have to do it again.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family. 
It's normal to feel horrible in early recovery. Just don't give in to despair and drink again. It will get better with each passing day. One day soon you'll wake up and realize you feel good. Stay sober and that day will come.
It's normal to feel horrible in early recovery. Just don't give in to despair and drink again. It will get better with each passing day. One day soon you'll wake up and realize you feel good. Stay sober and that day will come. Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
You had two identical threads so I merged them.
When does it get better? It varies for everyone. Some people feel better after a week...for me it took me 3 months or so.
Try and look at it this way - we spent years drinking...no matter how long it takes to feel good again, it's a far shorter process. Thinking of it that way, we get off pretty lightly really.
D
When does it get better? It varies for everyone. Some people feel better after a week...for me it took me 3 months or so.
Try and look at it this way - we spent years drinking...no matter how long it takes to feel good again, it's a far shorter process. Thinking of it that way, we get off pretty lightly really.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: sherwood park
Posts: 19
Thank you all for your replies. It's still hard for me to accept how bad my problem was. But it's been 11 years now and I feel like if it's not now then when. I'm so scared to get to know myself sober. So far I'm highly highly emotional, crying right now, quick to anger, quick to sadden and feel like I'm almost afraid of my own shadow. Those two times I grabbed my keys and almost went for it, I think it was just the panic attack that stopped me I thought I was stronger than this. I feel like I won't forgive myself if I give in but I don't know how to calm myself when that moment hits. I've started journaling but it doesn't dawn on me to stop and reread it in the moment.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: sherwood park
Posts: 19
Thank you all for your replies. It's still hard for me to accept how bad my problem was. But it's been 11 years now and I feel like if it's not now then when. I'm so scared to get to know myself sober. So far I'm highly highly emotional, crying right now, quick to anger, quick to sadden and feel like I'm almost afraid of my own shadow. Those two times I grabbed my keys and almost went for it, I think it was just the panic attack that stopped me I thought I was stronger than this. I feel like I won't forgive myself if I give in but I don't know how to calm myself when that moment hits. I've started journaling but it doesn't dawn on me to stop and reread it in the moment.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,697
Hi TheLayers! Glad you're here. And congrats on 6 days of seriously hard work! Keeping light, positive movies, music, books around has helped to pull me up when I start sinking. Browsing and posting on here is a fantastic idea. Stay close!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 267
Congrats Layers, great job on 6 days. Sorry it's so rough so far but I'll echo what everybody else is saying. It does get better. You have to cross this raging river eventually, and you're already 6 days along. Next time you have a panicky moment, just remember--you don't have to do those first 6 days ever again if you don't want to.
And the other shore truly is worth it. You're on your way there--keep moving forward. Hang in there.
And the other shore truly is worth it. You're on your way there--keep moving forward. Hang in there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: sherwood park
Posts: 19
These words all mean so much to me. I'm sorry I didn't post on day one. A very big thank you to all and I will hopefully get a night sleep in tonight. For future posts is it best I start a new thread or continue here ? I am new to forums sorry ...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi and welcome, congratulations on 6 days. The first period of sobriety is really rough, but try to think of it as your body healing itself. The worst thing you could do right now is to put more poison into it. I have found that coming on here and posting- my own threads or responding to others- is very helpful. Stick close to here, we all know what you are going through and are here to support you.
One last thing, if you start to get worried that this is more than you can handle alone please don't hesitate to get to a doctor. They can assist you and provide medical support to get through this withdrawal phase. Actually, it might be a good idea to see your family doctor in any case, just to let them know that you have quit and maybe get a full check up with blood work.
One last thing, if you start to get worried that this is more than you can handle alone please don't hesitate to get to a doctor. They can assist you and provide medical support to get through this withdrawal phase. Actually, it might be a good idea to see your family doctor in any case, just to let them know that you have quit and maybe get a full check up with blood work.
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