I'm stuck
 

I didn't like my life when I was drinking.

I don't like how things are going right now. I feel stuck. I feel like my best days are over. I know alcohol won't make things better. But I can't seem to find happiness. I can't find peace.

I clean the house, cook, buy groceries. Feel exhausted. Go to bed. And it all starts again the next morning.

Please don't tell me to go for a walk. I am sick and tired of walking.

Thank you for listening.

Patricia

have you tried calling someone up and having a chat ?

i wouldnt be without my sponsor in aa for all the money in the world, for times when my head was all over the place or i would feel so empty etc a quick call to my sponsor would soon get me back on my feet again
i would end up feeling grateful for what i do have in my life and not feel so empty

i would think of the down and outs who are homeless and count my lucky stars i am not one of them
at times i really do have to look at others sufferings and compare them to my own to find gratitude

hope it helps and remember this to will pass and the good times will come around again and sadly the good times will pass to and the bad times will come around again
we just have to learn how to get on with life daily

Stuck happens.

Bunnez

What do you think would make you feel happy Patricia ? I had to make some serious changes in my life to get happy. I didn't think it was possible. ..but now I know it is.

I completely understand the frustration with the repetition of life.

Try to just enjoy moments/situations each day. It's getting a bit easier day by day for me. Keep learning...keep talking.

Don't give up the hope that things will change. And that they will change for the better.

When I get feelings like that I talk about them with my counselor. She has been so helpful to me, and not just in staying sober but in all aspects of my life.

Is counseling a possibility for you?

:hug:

Stuck is better than going through alcohol withdrawal because you thought drinking would make you feel unstuck.

I can't deal with her "tough love" right now. She is good but I really can't handle the brutal honesty. I know she's doing it to make me "snap out of it", and I am grateful for her. It worked in the past, but today I just want to crawl under a blanket and hide until this is all over.

Faith is a major part of recovery I think. Doesn't have to be faith in God or a HP....but I think you do need to have the very real faith that things will get batter, especially when it doesn't seem it will.

That despair - that nothing will get better - drives a lot of people back to drinking Patricia...but trust me - it may take a little time, but things really do get better :)

D

I understand your frustration too, Patricia, but I know you can find your way out of this.

But, what you need to make yourself happy and how can you go about bringing that into your life?

My hobbies would make me happy, but right now I don't even have energy to even draw a smiley face on the note pad.

Feeling rested after a good night of sleep would make me happy...it's not happening lately.

Not having to listen to my husband complain about everything would make me happy...not happening.

Just stop struggling with anxiety would make me happy...

I think I forgot how to be happy...

I have a lot to be grateful for, and yet I am miserable, tired, exhausted.

Thank you Happyandfree, I love your name. .

Thank you Dee. I'll try.

I don't have anything to offer you but a sense that I do understand the very real struggle you are facing. Sending good wishes your way.

my sponsor would come over and sit with me or keep me company if i was feeling so low
i know when my little lad died i wouldnt be around today if it wasnt for that guys love he shown me

he really is one of the most amazing sponsors in aa sure he can get hard if there is a need to but most of the time he doesnt say much to me he just lets me do all the talking and somehow it all comes out and i find my mood changes

to be honest i dont like hard line sponsors as to me they get the reaction your now showing in terms of not calling them as they know what sort of reaction there going to get so they dont call and end up feeling crap and on there own

i spent a lot of time curled up in bed doing nothing after my lad died, i couldnt face the world at all its taken me a while to get back out and about and even now i can still have an off day

off days are ok to life isnt always going to be happy joyus and free mood swings are either ultra high or ultra low

in time we do learn how to not get so high or so low but sadly to get there we have to come through the pain first

growing pains i call them now and today i can not get away with feeling low as i know that low feeling will grow and grow unless i do something about it

if you believe in god then say some prayers whatever works for you but the best thing for me to do when i am really fed up is to get along to an aa meeting and hopefully there will be a new comer there who is in need of a friend
i can offer my hand out and see if i can help them and believe me it really does work
in a flash i end up forgetting all about my own problems as i am more concerned for the new comer

but i have to be the one to put that effort in : )

good luck to you and so long as you dont pick up that first drink no matter how badly life hits us we are in with a shout

Maybe I need to stop thinking that this will never end, because it always does right?

Thank you Anna...

At 46 your best years are not behind you. If anyone knows different don't tell me. There was a time between quitting and getting my faculties back where it was just dead air. I didn't have alcohol to make me feel better and I didn't have a chemically normal functioning brain yet to enjoy things the way normal people do. This takes awhile to reset. When it did I told someone it felt like I left a flat two dimensional world and stepped into interactive three D.
At a year I went into the doc and got put on an antidepressant for the PMS and they really helped.

Hi Pat. I deal with depression and may know a little of how you feel. Meditation helps me live in the present moment even when it is painful to do so. Moods change. Hang in there.

How long have you been sober, Patricia? Early recovery is always hard and takes different amounts of time for everyone. Hang in there - you'll get through it.

I am in early recovery after several relapses earlier this year. Thank you 5kRunner, I am tired of struggling. I miss feeling "normal"...

I had always heard that meditation would work but I didnt believe it, but I figured I'd give anything as try. I didn't know how to meditate though so I looked up an app on my phone that basically walks you through how to do it. It took about 10 minutes but I remember when the session was over I instantly began laughing in amazement at how well it worked and how much better I felt after just 10 minutes. Might give it a shot. Hope you get to feeling better soon!