patricia68

You are right Clayton, when I meditate I feel so much better. I need to remember to do it more often, even if it's only 10 minutes. Thank you.

MavisTheFairy13

I've suffered from depression for most of my life and know that awful feeling well. Don't know how many days in you are but hopefully it will get better. And if not then get to your doctors and tell them how you are feeling. Keep posting on here. My first thought when I decided to stop drinking was 'will I ever have that happy feeling again?' Of course the alcohol wasn't really making me happy. Just that initial buzz. You can do this, you're doing great. Maybe try to take up a new hobby or do something to get out of the house a little and keep you distracted?

Foolsgold186

^^^^^^^^^
Counselling was the best thing that happened to me. Verbalising how you feel, how life is going is incredibly helpful.

Hope you find some peace Patricia.

L x

llastchance8

Agree with Silentrun. Visiting a doc may a good idea.. Once, The problem of anxiety is tackled , everything will feel more optimistic.

snowbunting

So sorry you're feeling so down. I know the feeling of claustrophobia, boredom and hopelessness you describe. I think you've received some really good advice on here about how to deal with what you're feeling, and how to wait it out. I just had one practical suggestion, forgive me if it sounds stupid - would you consider using some of the money you've saved on alcohol to hire a cleaner once a week or so? While the cleaner tackles the jobs you dislike so much, you could spend that time on yourself - whether on a new or old hobby, or just on relaxing and treating yourself well. I'm a firm believer that self-care should be a top priority in the early days of recovery. You are worth it, and you're doing really well ((hug))

IOAA2

Hi.
I know the feeling and for me it helped when I forced myself to think positive thoughts trying to prevent the gloom and doom negative feelings that are so common with this dis-ease we have.
Something I used to scoff at is being grateful for……………..
I start off with the thoughts of being able to see, hear, feel, walk, talk, and many small things many can’t accomplish any more.

BE WELL

JanieJ

I feel for you. (((()))) This too shall pass. Hang in there. Also in early recovery, finding it very up and down.

neferkamichael

Patricia68, rootin for ya.

Inchworm

The endless treadmill sort of thing? It always helps me to think of my not too distant ancestors on my mothers side who mined tin, copper, or gold for a living (depending on where they'd moved). I can always say, "jeesch! at least it's not me and the pit ponies!"
On the more serious side.... Patricia, be patient and gentle with yourself and have some compassion for this hard time. It will shift.

ArtFriend

I would suggest volunteering at a homeless shelter or a woman's shelter. You will come to appreciate what you really have.

"I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet."

Meraviglioso

Patricia, that tough love stuff works because sometimes we need to hear it. There are other times that we just need to wallow in our own crap and feel sorry for ourselves. Have you had a good cry? Crying is very beneficial in a number of ways. It releases stress and toxins from our bodies and lets the pressure off by getting out emotion. Let it out girl!
I completely understand not having time to stop moving and hide away, but next opportunity you have, take it. I unexpectedly had a day yesterday where I was able to do nothing. It was a gorgeous day outside, my boyfriend invited me to the beach to take a walk, get some sun. YOu know what I did? I stayed in bed most of the day, screwing around on the internet, napping, resting, hiding under the duvet. It was just what I needed. We don't always gets those opportunities, but find them where you can.
It WILL get better. It will.
Sending you a big hug. Hang in there.

doggonecarl

^^^This^^^

Seeking instant, or almost instant, gratification is a hallmark of addiction. Recovery isn't instant. No matter how much you clamor to feel "normal" it will happen at its own pace, so be patient.

patricia68

What would I do without SR?
Thank you so much for all the great advice and support.
You have no idea how much better I feel today knowing that I am not alone.
God bless you all

patricia68

I love roses! This one is just stunning! Thank you so much Neferkamichael!

luvmygirls

Thank you for posting this. I know exactly how you feel. Maybe it's because I haven't had a bad drinking experience since August, but when I stop I feel like I may as well be drinking because I am SO tired and the stress is so much harder for me to deal with. I guess I feel like I'm missing all this happiness that other people are feeling. The one upside that I love is going to sleep sober rather than basically passing out, and waking up without guilt. That part is good.

audra

I had that too. It was like a resistance to life itself. How do we begin to stop resisting life and start living life again? How do we drag ourselves out of the exhaustion and begin to make sense of things again? It is as if our very cells in our bodies are telling us that they've had enough. Our bodies are telling our minds that we feel done. (I'm freaking done - I used to say).

To take hold of oneself again, ones core being, is to realize that there is a person inside you that is whole, loving, grateful and kind. It has just been covered over by years of the struggle - I took hold by literally holding my heart and saying, "Audra, I love you. I will not abandon you again." STuff like that.

The way I did it was to accept myself, I mean REALLY accept myself exactly the way I was, or that I am at the moment, no matter how I'm feeling. The way through is to go into the emotional body. I'm not saying that I have completely accepted myself, I am a work in progress. But I have mourned losses these past five months that I didn't know I didn't accept.

The big thing for me is that I drank/drugged because I wanted to bury these feelings of loveless exhaustion. Take responsibility for your feelings and see what happens.

There are countless books about how the body stores all of our emotions until they are released through the work.

Hope that helps Pat.

breath

Obviously most of us here completely relate and we offer solutions; ultimately it was up to each of us to pull ourselves up. Once we got up we looked back one last time and moved forward; it worked.
It can work for you also, if you are willing to work for it. Nobody will say it's easy.
What is 'up', 'it', and 'worked' ? That's the beauty of recovery, we decide to recover, we decide what that means. THat's just one way I get to define my Spirituality.

One thing I heard and has worked for me: I looked at how hard I worked for my addiction, and realized sobriety didn't take nearly the effort drinking did; whenever I felt down I'd reflect and take just that next step, that next half hour, not the huge effort or chunk of time, and see what I was capable of, and how I felt. That makes it easier now; I don't clean the whole life, just a little bit at a time, and that sense of being me, not my addiction is enough to get me to keep going.

One Day At A Time...it works.

Arbor

^ Love what you said there breath ^