EJ43

I hate thinking about it, I hate the planning, the questions. I especially hate that it is coming between me and my husband right now. I am angry and pissed that everyone around me can drink. We went to a get together last night and my husband drank and it irritated me a lot. He has his own issues, but drinking isn't one of them and he is coming out of a very very dark depression and actually having fun socializing. He declared us incompatible last night. I am so angry and hurt. I hate all this, I hate that it's happening to me, I hate that I struggle with it and I hate that it's affecting my life. I have only told a couple of friends, so I got a bunch of comments last night and I am tired of them. If you couldn't tell I am having a very very bad morning.

soberclover

I'm sorry you are struggling. It is challenging finding balance between your new life and the old life. I've found that the longer I stay sober, the easier it is to deal with things when they become unbalanced. Stay strong!

jshep

Hi, EJ43. As hard as it is to see others drink, your sobriety is only about you. It will get easier. SR and all these members are available for support. You can do it even though there will be rough patches. I'm rooting for you

IOAA2

Hi.
I can identify a lot with your feelings when I first got sober.
Someone suggested that I STUDY the serenity prayer said at each AA meeting and that helped if I said it multiple times a day.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

BE WELL

MIRecovery

We have to get sober for ourselves. Sobriety is a lifestyle and it is wonderful. We think the world revolves around drinking because our world was drinking. In reality the majority of the world enjoys the world without drinking. I had a wonderful day yesterday and none of it had anything to do with alcohol. For me sobriety was about building a new life not trying to fix the old

Soberwolf

Sorry things are like this but maybe talking to your husband when he is sober over a cup of tea could help clear things up explain how you feel

Sorry you had a bad morning hopefully stick close to SR and have a better afternoon

big hugs your way

fini

EJ,

you're having a very bad morning.
hm...how were the mornings after you got loaded the night before? better than this?

i have yet to wake up and wish that i'd gotten drunk the night before....

it gets easier. hang in there. you'll learn different and new ways to deal with this stuff.

FeelingGreat

EJ, sorry you're in this down mood. Sobriety isn't a negative thing, it's overwhelmingly positive. If you think about it as being deprived, you won't last long. You've got remember why you stopped drinking, and how much healing your body and mind are going through.

Most of us avoid drinking occasions for a while, as they can be upsetting and tempting. I didn't start socialising for around 6 months, apart from day-time things. I kept up with friends by meeting them for coffee, and walks and other non-drinking activities.

EndGameNYC

Try not to hate it so much. Hatred strengthens the bonds between you and that which you hate. Like Captain Ahab in Moby Dick.

Which husband is incompatible with you? The depressed version or the social butterfly?

JanieJ

Sending hugs ((()))

EJ43

You guys are awesome!!! I need to get beyond my hatred and bitterness as it feels unnatural. My husband has been great to me, but I have spewing a lot of blame and bitterness. I am tired today, but I think today is necessary for me to get to the next level. You guys are the best!

neferkamichael

EJ43, drinking will just make things worse, rootin for ya.

PurpleKnight

It'll all get better with more time!! Hang in there!!

Anna

It's quite normal to feel angry and frustrated in early recovery. I had a lot of anger too and it took awhile for it to ease up. I did find that journaling helped me get through that. When I felt angry, I would sit and write everything in my head and it helped to get it out and to move on.

Foolsgold186

I could have wrote that post 3 months ago. I was so full of resentment and anger towards everyone. Hated normal drinkers, people questioning me, talking to me....really anything. I hated life, hated why I was like this. Why me?!

It took a while but those feelings do go, I learned to talk, feel emotions and try and ride them out. It's tough but the outcome is brilliant.

Cry, shout, scream or laugh like your nuts. Just go with how you feel and don't mask them.

Be well.

Leigh x

EJ43

Thank you all for taking the time to support me!!! It's the end of the day and thankfully it's over, not a good day. I am afraid of the changes coming, I am afraid of my anger and am afraid of becoming someone new and losing people dear to me. Today is fear and anger and resentment. All ugly, none fun. I have a lot of thinking to do, but today is nearly over and I am glad it's almost on the books. Thanks again, lots if great insight and advice.

Meraviglioso

Sending you support. Do come back and let us know how you are feeling today.