Question for some old timers
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Lancaster Ohio
Posts: 81
Question for some old timers
I have not tried to get sober nor wanted to get sober for a very long time. Im wandering what some of your motivations were? Personally I love drinking but I need to do more with my life. I am 37 years old and have absolutely nothing to show. I don't want to look back and regret drinking my entire life away. I know I can still make a lot of contributions, I guess Im just looking for suggestions on a place to start. I have attended some AA meeting in the past but the longest I ever stayed sober was around 6 months. Like I said Im 37 Im unemployed. I do have a decent place to stay and I take care of my bills and things but recently there have been some things that I have not followed through on and ended up hurting some people I care about. I know I can do better than that. I don't want to get older and have a life full of regret. I really don't like attending AA or 12 step meetings. Maybe I just haven't found the right type of meeting for me, Im not sure. I guess Im wandering if anyone who has some years under their belt can give me some suggestions on where I can begin to start sobering up?
Also I was wandering what I should be expecting my first 2-4 weeks of being clean. What should I be doing to occupy myself and my mind? Im nervous but I know that I need to do this thing if I really want to enjoy this world and not suffer a lonely life or let the people down that I love, including myself. I thank you in advance for taking the time to comment.
Also I was wandering what I should be expecting my first 2-4 weeks of being clean. What should I be doing to occupy myself and my mind? Im nervous but I know that I need to do this thing if I really want to enjoy this world and not suffer a lonely life or let the people down that I love, including myself. I thank you in advance for taking the time to comment.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,415
Hi On~Fire
I was an all day everyday drinker by the end - I'd become very ill...to be brutally honest my motivation was not to die.
As good as fear is as a motivator it doesn't last. What has kept me sober was the realisation that I could drink, or I could be the man I wanted to be, but not both.
I went for column B and, nearly eight years on, have never regretted it
what to expect in the first month? most people find they're easily tired and a little irritable...some find they become very anxious or over emotional.
Some find they have trouble sleeping or become susceptible to colds and other minor illness. Some may have trouble sleeping
I know...all that doesn't sound awesome...but it's not permanent...and considering the damage we do physically and mentally to ourselves as drinkers, I think most of us get off lightly really
support really helps, especially in that first month or so, so please do use the support you'll find here. I'm glad you've found us
D
I was an all day everyday drinker by the end - I'd become very ill...to be brutally honest my motivation was not to die.
As good as fear is as a motivator it doesn't last. What has kept me sober was the realisation that I could drink, or I could be the man I wanted to be, but not both.
I went for column B and, nearly eight years on, have never regretted it
what to expect in the first month? most people find they're easily tired and a little irritable...some find they become very anxious or over emotional.
Some find they have trouble sleeping or become susceptible to colds and other minor illness. Some may have trouble sleeping
I know...all that doesn't sound awesome...but it's not permanent...and considering the damage we do physically and mentally to ourselves as drinkers, I think most of us get off lightly really
support really helps, especially in that first month or so, so please do use the support you'll find here. I'm glad you've found us
D
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
The costs of poisoning myself daily built up over time
In the end it was a struggle to go on, i wanted out. It was unpleasant to stop but shortly i did a sense of freedom and self respect began to grow
In the end it was a struggle to go on, i wanted out. It was unpleasant to stop but shortly i did a sense of freedom and self respect began to grow
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
At one time an every day drinker, towards the end, I just couldn't physically do it and would get blackout drunk on a 6 pack. What motivated me was pain-the pain of getting drunk finally exceeded the pain of reality and I narrowed my choices do to AA or suicide,yet I really didn't want to die, I just didn't want to exist like I was anymore.i don't hate life, just mine.
Good to see ya gn to meetings. Good start and remember not the only help out there. Any chance youve read the big book and seen what AA is about?
What to expect in the first month....hmmmm...tough one. What I had was quite a fog goin on in my head. Pretty hard on myself as I saw just how pathetic my existence had been. Sleep was very little as I recall. Eating was the same,too.
But over time and putting in the action to change me, I started to stop existing and started living.
Can't say getting sober was easy. Hardest thing I ever did,mbut well worth every second
Good to see ya gn to meetings. Good start and remember not the only help out there. Any chance youve read the big book and seen what AA is about?
What to expect in the first month....hmmmm...tough one. What I had was quite a fog goin on in my head. Pretty hard on myself as I saw just how pathetic my existence had been. Sleep was very little as I recall. Eating was the same,too.
But over time and putting in the action to change me, I started to stop existing and started living.
Can't say getting sober was easy. Hardest thing I ever did,mbut well worth every second
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Welcome, On-fire, I'm new here, only 8 days sober. For me it's the fact that I want to live - I'm 52, and have experienced some stomach problems, and got scared of that. Also my grandkids are a big factor, I want to be sober for them. I just reached a point where I realised that I either stop drinking or I die,same as a lot of others here. It takes a lot of support, I would not even be 8 days without these wonderful people here on this forum. Hope you can come with us and be sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
You asked about motivation. Well....
I'm 55 now with 24 yrs. sobriety and
as I reflect back on when I entered a
life of recovery, I was about 30 yrs.
old married about 8 yrs., stay at home
mom with 2 little ones.
After a horrible accident in Feb, 1990
to complete recovery with no alcohol,
just pain pills, in Aug. 1990 I picked
up a drink and spiraled downward to
where all I wanted to do was die or
sleep forever.
Family intervention took place sending
me into recovery where I was able to
drain my body of poison and learn about
my addiction and its affects on me and
those around me.
August 1990, I received a wonderful
gift of recovery to begin a new life
with willingness, openmindedness,
and honesty to continue on my journey
in life without alcohol.
Motivation.....I tried so many times
to stop the insanity of drinking and
just couldn't do it by myself. I need
help and to be around others just like
me struggling with addiction. Once, I
found the rooms of AA I committed
myself for just a day at a time listening,
learning, absorbing and applying many
valuable, affective tools, suggestions
in my everyday life.
My motivation today to remain sober,
healthy, happy, grateful, is to give back
or pass along what was so freely passed
on to me over the years to those struggling
with addiction like I was yrs. ago.
Today, my motivation is fueled by
my responsibility in helping others.
I'm 55 now with 24 yrs. sobriety and
as I reflect back on when I entered a
life of recovery, I was about 30 yrs.
old married about 8 yrs., stay at home
mom with 2 little ones.
After a horrible accident in Feb, 1990
to complete recovery with no alcohol,
just pain pills, in Aug. 1990 I picked
up a drink and spiraled downward to
where all I wanted to do was die or
sleep forever.
Family intervention took place sending
me into recovery where I was able to
drain my body of poison and learn about
my addiction and its affects on me and
those around me.
August 1990, I received a wonderful
gift of recovery to begin a new life
with willingness, openmindedness,
and honesty to continue on my journey
in life without alcohol.
Motivation.....I tried so many times
to stop the insanity of drinking and
just couldn't do it by myself. I need
help and to be around others just like
me struggling with addiction. Once, I
found the rooms of AA I committed
myself for just a day at a time listening,
learning, absorbing and applying many
valuable, affective tools, suggestions
in my everyday life.
My motivation today to remain sober,
healthy, happy, grateful, is to give back
or pass along what was so freely passed
on to me over the years to those struggling
with addiction like I was yrs. ago.
Today, my motivation is fueled by
my responsibility in helping others.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
I’m an old F… and sober quite close to your age. I also have attended AA from my first sober day and gratefully haven’t had a desire to drink in about 35 years. I’ve also been very active in the fellowship for a lot of years because I feel I owe it in appreciation.
When I finally put the plug in the jug I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’d been attending meetings and didn’t like a lot of what I heard, in other words I was terminal unique which is still common among newcomers.
First was I needed to want to not drink any more, then I had to get honest with myself about MY drinking then I needed to accept that I can no longer drink alcohol in safety.
The old timers approach was tough but loving with the keep coming suggestions even if I didn’t want to at times. They strongly suggested to sit up front, away from denial isle and take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth and listen as I had nothing to contribute about being/staying sober.
Recovery is NOT a quick fix situation as it takes that four letter word TIME and requires another word we don’t usually deal with well. We need to CHANGE certain characteristics we came in with for the long term.
I still go to 3-5 meetings a week to keep my remember whens fresh and hear a fresh pearl I need at the time. I’ve found that going to a meeting when I don’t want to is something I need to do and is usually so beneficial for me. It’s also a way to help another alcoholic by perhaps saying something they need to hear.
BE WELL
I’m an old F… and sober quite close to your age. I also have attended AA from my first sober day and gratefully haven’t had a desire to drink in about 35 years. I’ve also been very active in the fellowship for a lot of years because I feel I owe it in appreciation.
When I finally put the plug in the jug I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’d been attending meetings and didn’t like a lot of what I heard, in other words I was terminal unique which is still common among newcomers.
First was I needed to want to not drink any more, then I had to get honest with myself about MY drinking then I needed to accept that I can no longer drink alcohol in safety.
The old timers approach was tough but loving with the keep coming suggestions even if I didn’t want to at times. They strongly suggested to sit up front, away from denial isle and take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth and listen as I had nothing to contribute about being/staying sober.
Recovery is NOT a quick fix situation as it takes that four letter word TIME and requires another word we don’t usually deal with well. We need to CHANGE certain characteristics we came in with for the long term.
I still go to 3-5 meetings a week to keep my remember whens fresh and hear a fresh pearl I need at the time. I’ve found that going to a meeting when I don’t want to is something I need to do and is usually so beneficial for me. It’s also a way to help another alcoholic by perhaps saying something they need to hear.
BE WELL
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