VikingGF

2 months into my first real attempt at sobriety, and the dog dies. Three months in and my healthy, active, working, funny, traveling father has a heart attack and a subsequent stroke during bypass surgery.

I am still sober. This is no longer about that. This is about me wondering why I'm not getting a break. Makes me sound like a little baby, doesn't it? A weak, pathetic child that no one taught that life is not about what's fair. My whole life has changed in 3 days. If my dad is not able to become somewhat mobile and independent, I am not sure what my role will be. I live hours and hours from my parents. My whole careful, positive outlook, my find the good in everything, exude love, blah, blah attitude is becoming blacker by the day.

My mom needs me to be strong, and I am trying. For all the fear/worry/confusion and questions about the future I have, she must have a million more.

It just feels like a really bad roller coaster. And I hate being on it.

I just came here to vent. I'm not really leaning on anyone right now, so here it is. Thanks for listening. I'm not going anywhere- I have no desire to add alcohol to this ridiculous, unhappy equation.

Onward.

PurpleKnight

Sometimes life throws us multiple curve balls at the same time, I always think there is no right time to get Sober, life keeps rolling and the ups and downs keep on coming!!

Hang in there, you'll hopefully catch a break soon!!

Bailey3

Vent away VG!

NHTransplant

Viking, I can't even imagine what you're experiencing. Please know that you have our support.

courage2

Hugs, Viking. I'm so sorry about your dad. Take this hard time just like every other time, one day, one right thing at a time. Be with your mom & dad as much as you can and the rest of your family, and really be there. You'll be glad you were.

And yes, vent away!

Anna

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad.

Hawks

Sorry to hear Viking, about your Dad.

It's hard to watch when Dads become ill.

My Dad passed away a few years ago.

He taught me so much in life, stuff I did for many years and stuff I still do today, like play cricket, play golf, play Snooker, darts... Dad was a man's man.

Be a father too. Best thing he ever taught me.

God bless him... He even tried to teach me how to drink like a gentleman... About the only thing you can't teach an alcoholic.

I even wear old spice these days so I can smell like and be like my Dad. The first and biggest hero in my life... My Dad.

It's not easy.... Just be there for him as often as you can get there.

Sincerely all the best with everything you have going on

Hevyn

VG I'll be sending up prayers for your dad, you and your family. I'm so proud of you for not drinking.

esinger

Sorry about your dad and your dog. I lost my Mom a few months ago and my Dad is not doing so good and 1300 miles away. Life doesn't get easier when we are sober it just gets real. Being coherent and being able to make sound decisions about the situation is much more productive than blurring it out though.

Sounds like you have the right attitude with you recovery. I know the pain but I also know the rewards of sticking it out.

I hope everything smooths out in your future.

VikingGF

Thank you for this. I took a little time to think how much worse this would be if I were still drinking. I wouldn't be present, rational or much help at all. I'd either be jonesing for a drink, hungover, or too buzzed to process anything. Ugh. Your post provides a much needed reality check, and I can use one.

MariahGayle

(hugs)) Viking - prayers of love & strength your way

freshstart57

Viking, sorry to hear about your chain of hard news. I still have both of my parents with me, but I am trying to prepare myself for the day when it comes, and it could be very soon. I will tell myself that as keenly as the loss will be felt, it is the natural order of things. The only alternative to burying my parents that I can see is to have them bury me, and that is something no parent should ever do. I will do the next thing first, I guess, and be present, and try to get out of my head by helping the other parent. It will be a new phase of my life with its own things to experience and learn from, and another chance to grow and grow up a little more.

In the context of SR, you are resolute and committed to your sober future though, and that gets great respect from me. Facing this rough row to hoe as you are doing, mindful and forthright, is brave. It takes courage to do what you are doing, the way you are doing it. It makes you a badass in my books, VikingGF. Hang in, push through, and as you said, onward. Best to you and your family.

Briar

I'm so sorry you're going through this tough time. You know if you drink, it will just delay the feelings, not make them go away forever. It takes so much strength to do this sober. You are very brave.