ArtFriend

Yes, I have trying to prepare myself for "that call" ever since he went back to drinking. I still don't know anything. Sent a text with no reply so don't know what that means. I am trying to stay busy on my new meditation room! I am converting a bedroom into a personal sanctuary of peace. I have been putting off painting until the weather cools but I think I will start today anyway, even if it gets into the 80s. The walls are boring eggshell at the moment.

Thanks everyone.

Hawks

My sister has a "total enabler" husband.

After they got married, there were two dozen bottles of wine left over, I know, I was the one who stacked them away in their garage.

I was back there ten days later, not one bottle left.

I asked where they all went, he gave me some BS about giving it away.

I found about half of the bottles in their rubbish bin... At least if he was going to lie to me, he could have covered the tracks better.

I stay in touch with him because, I know, one day my sister is going to need help.... And real help won't come from her husband. My sisters best chance is one alcoholic helping another.

She had half her liver cut out a year or so ago. Told "that's it" by her doctor etc so far as booze went.

Way I see it, I either love her and her husband unconditionally or I don't bother.

I tried "don't bother" thinking I'd be more comfortable, I wasn't.... Unconditional is far more comfortable.

I reckon that I was more likely to drink, not bothering to try and help, than I am trying to help.

Hope that makes sense.

ArtFriend

Yep, I get what you are saying Hawks. I think each of us has to find our own way of handling family dynamics.

Hawks

Absolutely, I just shared my experience.

It's your sobriety journey, not mine. Choice is yours

sprout50

Artfriend, so sorry to hear about your brother. I, too, have a brother who will not quit drinking and I avoid him to protect my own sobriety. It's hard to see someone you love like this.

Stressful situations happen in life and when you are newly sober, it is tough. Know that you can come here and talk it through with us.

ArtFriend

Seems like this resonates with a lot of people. It is very hard to watch a loved one self-destruct. Why do people do this? Rhetorical question. Just yesterday I listed all of the people in my family who died from alcohol. My brother knows the damage it does yet he just cannot seem to get out of the grip. I actually don't even think he has really ever tried. He has four kids who love him to pieces, a g-baby on the way, yet it is not enough for him to try.

I have had to let go of him, but that certainly doesn't mean I don't love him. I had a dream one time not too long ago that my brother and I were in a hot air balloon. He fell out of the ballon, but was hanging on and the balloon was going sideways. I could not control it and I didn't have the strength to pull my brother back in. We were heading for high voltage power lines. I had to cut him loose to be able to get the balloon back on course and avoid the wires. Very disturbing dream, but prophetic.

JanieJ

They are such wise words. I have family members who I don't see too, family dynamics are complicated at best.

sprout50

I know exactly what you mean Artfriend. My brother lost his wife over his drinking, his kids won't have anything to do with him and won't let him around his grand kids, he is 5' 10'' and weighs about 110lbs and has been to the hospital for bleeding from his esophagus and inability to swallow. He refuses to admit that alcohol is a factor and until he does, there is nothing I can do for him.

ArtFriend

I am sorry about your brother Sprout... he is in very bad shape. At least my brother's kids still interact with him. Your brother's situation is very sad indeed.

sprout50

It is. All I can do is pray for him at this point and if he ever does decide to stop drinking, I will be there for him.

SoberLife90

I wish you the best of luck!