goose333

So I have to attend a wedding today. Before getting sober I was looking forward to this wedding because I could drink heavily for free. I would have pre-gamed a little too much and probably arrived pretty well lit up. Then would have sucked down booze all night and then drive home with an upset wife and enjoy a horrible hang over tomorrow.

So now I will be doing this sober. My first sober wedding since I was ten! I'm not looking forward to this. Not that I think it will be difficult to not drink. I think I'll be OK with that. It will just be so very boring sitting around for hours. Not looking forward to this at all. Maybe I'll see if I can pick out the folks who should be here with us. Observe how their behavior changes over time.

Oh well, wish me luck. I won't blow it today. I'll be at 30 days after this weekend.

FeelingGreat

Hi Goose, challenge yourself to go and talk to a diverse range of people and be as upbeat as you can, without the booze.

Even though you're confident, make sure you get a big glass of something non-alcoholic in your hand as soon as you arrive. Half the battle is habit, and holding a glass helps.

Soberwolf

30 days is amazing

Well done Goose cant help but think if maverick (a member) posts on this lol ( Top gun ?)

MelindaFlowers

You'll wake up Saturday feeling great.

MIRecovery

I know I could not have stayed sober with less than 30 days. I would highly recommend an escape plan

Mountainmanbob

Once many years ago with close to 3 years sober I drank at a wedding. I was feeling uncomfortable not knowing most everyone there and thought best to have a couple of beers. Admitted - at the time I was working a very weak Program.

Be on guard and ready to step out for a short walk if needed.

Bob

bookmaven

1). Escape plan!
2). Have the number of a sober friend or sponsor if you have one just incase you need to talk to someone who really understands what your going through.
3). Escape plan!
4). Remember all you've worked so hard for and that your recovery is more important than other peoples opinions or feelings. What ever it takes to stay sober. You can do it!

5KRunner

I have done and said some very dumb things at weddings, thanks to having a free supply of alcohol at my disposal. It's a good idea to have a strong game plan going in.

Have you discussed it with your wife? What does she think? Is she willing to support you and back you up in your efforts?

jaynie04

I have come to recognize a pretty redundant pattern when it comes to social events and not drinking. My anticipation is ALWAYS worse than the actuality. In hindsight I keep seeing that the difficult part is the "pre-game" rather than the actuality. Now that I understand this it doesn't necessarily alleviate the discomfort, but it lessens it because I know that if I hang tough I will likely be pleasantly surprised.

You will do great!

doggonecarl

Weddings aren't that long, and they are alcohol free. It's the reception that you have to worry about.

You could just make an appearance and then leave. Sober.

NorCaliGal

I feel you! Social situations where others are drinking are my biggest challenges. Have you downloaded the Sober Recovery app on your phone? I have. There's always so much to read here to keep on track. And at this point in my sobriety I'd gladly be that rude person who doesn't look up from their phone the whole reception if I needed it not to drink.

NCG

Ellay

[Then would have sucked down booze all night and then drive home with an upset wife and enjoy a horrible hang over tomorrow.

.[/QUOTE]

I know that we are supposed to be doing this for us...but just think how happy your wife will be that she doesn't have a pit in her stomach wondering how you are going to act...that you will be there right beside her, telling her she is beautiful when you are sober - not 3 sheets to the wind ( trust me, us chicks dig that) that you will have a nice night out and wake up feeling great, and you will be so proud that you made it through a huge event, without the booze!

Fiona630

Im with you! I have not gone to any function really and not drank. I don't know how to act. From previous experiences I get very stressed, high anxiety, irritable, fidgety, etc. I am expected to attend a halloween party tomorrow night. Im only 17 days sober. I do not want to go. I dont feel ready. No fear of drinking just don't know how to act.

Highlight of going and not drinking..you will wake up feeling great tomorrow, you will remember everything, you were not the person that everyone could count on being "that" drunk person, you wont wake up with bruises and not know how they got there, you will not wake up still in your clothes from the night before with an angry spouse, you will not worry about what did you say and to who, you wont have to wonder if you told some secret about the groom to everyone, and it goes on and on. lol

Good luck tonight. let us know how it went! make sure you have a way out in case it gets to be too much!

Fiona630

I did not know there was an app! I had bookmarked the site to my phone. lol I just went to my playstore and bought it. Nice to know.

Dee74

How goes it Goose?

D

PurpleKnight

Hope it all went well!!

goose333

So the party's over. I survived.
Hated every minute of it. Drank club soda. Bored out of my mind. I could really identify with the 9 year old at my table. Never realized how agonizingly slow weddings are.

There was only one bartender and during the happy hour portion, I found myself thinking that if I was drinking I would have been really annoyed at that. Line was so long. But then, it didn't matter did it?

I really really wanted to have about 5 drinks so I could better tolerate the night but I didn't. With no alcohol in me, I didn't dance. Probably a good thing because I would have presented a very poor visual for the guests. No rhythm! Even less than none!

With no booze in me, people who were feeling good became very annoying to me. I can't imagine what it must have been like to endure the old me. That thought was very sobering.

Oh well. I convinced the wife to leave early. She said, we didn't get coffee yet but I said that we would wait around for another half hour and the coffee would be bad anyway. She told me we don't have any more weddings on the horizon, so no worries. Although, she did count out all the possibilities that may be in our future. Right now, I think I would stay home for those.

Next challenge. Tonight we are having friends over for dinner. This will not be a problem at all. I know I will be fine and not miserable.

Thanks everyone for all your support. It really helped.

MavisTheFairy13

Sorry you didn't have a good time, hope you enjoy your dinner tonight

afloatsober

Well done getting through the wedding.
Try to keep these 'tests' to a minimum in early sobriety.
Apart from the fact that some can be more endure than enjoy.
It's possible that one of them make be too much for you.
We need to go to any lengths to stay safe.
Have a safe day.
G

Croissant

The first wedding I went to sober, I had to endure a couple - the woman in particular, tell me the exact same story at least 5 times. In a row.

Excruciating.