Every day is a new challenge
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 301
Every day is a new challenge
I'[m not going to sugarcoat it, I'm finding life hard without alcohol. Funny how when I'm actually getting my life on track I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and when I was killing myself I felt like I was doing fine.
Numbs the anxiety I suppose.
Today my challenge is that I'm sick and I haven't slept, but I need to go to work . I'm not too ill, not enough to call in, but I'm exhausted to the point my eyes look hungover.
Things aren't so bad, I've had a tough week. It's easy for things to feel forever when in reality it's just been a few days. Truthfully I'm working myself ragged. 13 hour days, 6 days a week at a hard job. It's too much. I have my old alcoholic mindset in regards to work, working makes me feel valued and because I crave a sense of purpose, I take on work to the point it destroys me. That's exactly how I ended up drinking every night before.
So I'm finishing off this week, I've committed to those shifts. Then the week after I only booked myself in for 3 days, then the week after I'm taking a week off to recharge.
When I come back I wont be working such ridiculous hours. I need to find another way of validating myself, not through the lens of others. I need to take a step back and focus on my recovery, and live with not being the hardest worker in the building, and live with a little less money. My priority is staying sober, if I put work before myself I will relapse.
Just gotta get through today
No relapse, No surrender
Tom
Numbs the anxiety I suppose.
Today my challenge is that I'm sick and I haven't slept, but I need to go to work . I'm not too ill, not enough to call in, but I'm exhausted to the point my eyes look hungover.
Things aren't so bad, I've had a tough week. It's easy for things to feel forever when in reality it's just been a few days. Truthfully I'm working myself ragged. 13 hour days, 6 days a week at a hard job. It's too much. I have my old alcoholic mindset in regards to work, working makes me feel valued and because I crave a sense of purpose, I take on work to the point it destroys me. That's exactly how I ended up drinking every night before.
So I'm finishing off this week, I've committed to those shifts. Then the week after I only booked myself in for 3 days, then the week after I'm taking a week off to recharge.
When I come back I wont be working such ridiculous hours. I need to find another way of validating myself, not through the lens of others. I need to take a step back and focus on my recovery, and live with not being the hardest worker in the building, and live with a little less money. My priority is staying sober, if I put work before myself I will relapse.
Just gotta get through today
No relapse, No surrender
Tom
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 451
I hear you Tom. I used to work double shifts and take on extras to make myself feel better about drinking and my life in general. My mindset was that no one could accuse me of being a lazy drunk. However, being exhausted was a huge trigger for drinking plus I used drinking as a reward for all my hard work. I hope you get through the week ok and enjoy your time off next week- you deserve a break xx
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
I know it may "feel" life is harder without drinking, but I can tell you without a doubt that if that were really true, I would not be sober. Balancing drinking and everything else was excruciatingly hard.
I used to work very hard also to show myself that I was ok. The reality was that I was far from it. Life is truly much easier without drinking. It may be harder to deal with some pain that comes my way, but it is nothing like the pain that drinking caused.
I used to work very hard also to show myself that I was ok. The reality was that I was far from it. Life is truly much easier without drinking. It may be harder to deal with some pain that comes my way, but it is nothing like the pain that drinking caused.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
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