only a matter of time(step 1)
 

Before I drink or drug again. That's what the first step of AA means to me - that there is NO situation that will be painful enough to keep me from picking up the first one. And that as a true addict/alcoholic I will use EVERY time no matter what. And once I start, I can't stop, and if I do stop, I can't STAY stopped for any considerable length of time through my own will power.

Today is day 7 and I am in the danger zone. I'm feeling better, healthier, less depressed. This is the part where I use. And I noticed today and yesterday that I'm starting to get those "pleasurable memories" of drinking and using again, so I need to get busy NOW whether I feel like it or not.

I'm going over the first step with my sponsor tonight before my home group then starting the second step. I know not everyone here does AA and it's not for everyone but I'm convinced if I don't do these steps I will having a needle hanging out of my arm soon.

Hope everyone is doing well.

I'm glad you're preparing yourself Jake...I think being ready is over half the battle :)

Congrats on seven days :)

D

There is no inevitability to any of this Jake, we all have the opportunity to choose our actions.

I agree though that support is key to turning things around, with enough support and a plan we can turn things around, have the life that we choose for ourselves!!

You can do this!! :)

I hope you get through this, Jake.

It's only inevitable IF you pick up that first time.

Not picking up is the only thing you absolutely need to get right.

I'm glad you're asking for help.

7 days is amazing jake were all with you

I have found when I do the things that AA has taught me to do on a daily basis I stay sober that day. I am closing in on stringing 2000 of them in a row. Pray in the morning asking for a day of sobriety, talk to an alcoholic, and say a prayer at night for a day sober. Repeat

I like MI suggestions. Also get to as many meetings as you can for now. I also read memoirs of addicts. The nice thing about them is that they really focus on the old life, when my forgetter stopped working, those books brought me right back.

I get it Jake, from one formerly powerless case to another .... I get it.

Step 6,7,8 coming up with my sponsor tonight.

Go get that new power !!

At some point in my addiction I lost the choice over whether or not I'm going to use. If it was a matter of choosing not to pick up the first one, I would have recovered long ago. This isn't to say that I don't have other choices though. I'm choosing today to depend on a power greater than myself to keep me from using. Powerless for me means not having any say in the matter. I'm pretty confident in the fact that every time I've used for god knows how long, I really didn't want to, told myself I wouldnt, truly believed I wouldnt, but still ended up and high.

I totally agree, in early Sobriety if I was put in a room on my own with my own thoughts, there was only going to be one outcome.

The choice comes in the form of what we're going to do to prevent that outcome, we can reach out, get support, attend meetings, get a sponsor, whatever it is we can change up our actions and fill our toolbox with tools to overcome this addiction!! :)

keep moving forward

step 2 made "sense" to me after step 7