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Old 10-14-2014, 04:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I am so upset!!


I received a rather nasty Pm from another member of this forum.

In it, she basically took my inventory for me and then finished with another Pm, by telling me not to bother with a reply as she would delete them unread.



I just wanted to scream, but I guess I can at least vent it here.

I have thought about a drink but I won't let this person upset me to the point that I will actually do it.

I suppose she meant well by laying into me.

I dunno??
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:13 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Do you think there was some truth in her observations? Take what you need and leave the rest.
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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wtf?!?!?! What do you mean take your inventory for you?
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Well that's rude and uncalled for of them.

However know they don't speak for all of us.

I for one pay close attention when viewing your responses to my posts.

Try not to let it under your skin.
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
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She didn't mean well if she wasn't even going to allow you to reply. Ignore her just like you ignore those messages saying you have a million dollars you win if only you give your credit card number to some guy in Somalia.
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:18 PM   #6 (permalink)
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if someone on here tries to tell you who you are and what is wrong with you...

well they are full of it and its their problem not yours.

they don't know who you are through an internet forum
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:19 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jryan19982 View Post
wtf?!?!?! What do you mean take your inventory for you?
I'd imagine it was relating to AA Step 4 - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"

There's always adding to your ignore list, which will hide all posts by a particular person.
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:20 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Sorry Hawks that its made you feel like this

like pk said you can always block
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:21 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Well the good news is that you don't have to waste any energy replying...

I always get frustrated when I'm in a conflict with someone and they want to have the last word. Especially when I've got interesting and clever replies to whatever crap they laid down. I actually think it is a small-minded form of communication, because without the back and forth, there is no growing in understanding of each other, which is the point of communication in the first place.

So, yes, someone randomly laying into you and then refusing to hear your response, is profoundly frustrating. It is not a brave or meaningful way to communicate. It's like shouting a bunch of insults at someone and then stomping away and slamming the door.

OK. Well, that happened...

My hope is that we can all remember that this is a life and death venture for all of us. There will be people whose opinions we don't agree with, and some who really trigger us. They might remind us of someone else's voice, we may disagree with their perspective, we may find their advice intrusive.

Guess what - you can use the IGNORE FEATURE and you don't see any postings by that person ever again. Stunningly convenient.

There is no need to "take each other's inventories" by personal message. Most of us are just making it through the day, even the hour. That is like waking up in the hospital trauma unit and smacking the patient in the bed beside you over the head with a baseball bat...

So. Please use the ignore feature folks if someone offends you. Offending them back sure isn't going to help the collective healing action we've got going on here...
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:22 PM   #10 (permalink)
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"taking your inventory" is AA-speak for "telling you everything that's wrong with you"...
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:23 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I have a job interview later today, I haven't worked in six months and I can't stop thinking about this Pm I got.

I really want to focus on this interview.... Aggggghhhhh.
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:23 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Ya may want to do a personal inventory on it.Good readin in the BB starting on page 64
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:25 PM   #13 (permalink)
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If anyone gets a PM they do not like, the ignore function works on PMs too.

Quote:
Ignore bothersome members. If there is someone on the forum that bothers you, select the Ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. You won't see any posts from this member again.
best wishes on your interview Hawks.

D
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:25 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Don't let her get under your skin. So many posts here can be misinterpreted. Consider the source and move on.

Think about your avatar -

Be a rock!
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:30 PM   #15 (permalink)
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One of the big things I have had to work on is not being judgemental and not taking others inventory.

When posting in regards to asking for opinions or just posting in general not everyone is going to agree with what you say or say something you don't like. Sometimes the best thing is to just walk away.

The admins here will always tell you that if you find a poster bothersome then put them on ignore. I'm not referring you Hawks or anyone in particular, just in general.
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:31 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Hawks, just like in AA, not everyone who visits this board is healthy. Whomever PM'd you and made the statement to not reply is evidence that this particular person is not healthy. Please don't let someone who is obviously having a bad day affect yours. Concentrate on good things and best of luck on your interview!! (HUGS)
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:33 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Hawks,
You are letting that person take up space in your head. Try replacing it with the positive posts you got on this thread. Good luck with the interview. Personally, I enjoy reading your posts. I get a lot out of them. John
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:34 PM   #18 (permalink)
voices ca**y
 
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Live and let live. I wouldn't trust anyone that would privately try to tell me what is wrong with me unless I asked. I called someone out once and they PMed me trying to explain their bad behavior. I don't think that kind of thing is usual. Mostly PMs are for friends.
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:47 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hard to tell who, if anyone, is in the wrong as there is only one side of the event offered here.

Probably best to just note and move on. I wish tolerance and love to both parties.

Good luck with the interview.
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:49 PM   #20 (permalink)
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My sponsor told me in early sobriety, "It was none of my business what others thought of me." What he was saying is we have to keep our side of the street clean and when we do others can do us no harm. Forever I tried to be something I was not because I was not rich enough successful enough, whatever enough I thought I was somehow defective. When I became OK with who I was people being mean just no longer carried the weight it used too.

The world is full of angry people. Let them be angry just don't allow them to live rent free in your head
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