happyandfree

This is one of the many reasons why it is so hard to quit. Second guessing ourselves and rationalizing the booze. Think about the reasons why you wanted to quit and the benefits of quitting. It isn't easy. ......but it is so worth it in the long run.

MelindaFlowers

Brilliant. I'm saving this for my sobriety journal. Sobriety only brings positives. Drinking brings only negatives. Perfect.

SandyLovesFall

I'm on day 3 sober. I've been drinking on the weekends since I was 13 (I'm 51 now). I've done some stupid things while drinking but nothing too horrible. I am just sick and tired of trying to drink and simultaneously stay sober. I like being sober much more than being drunk. I love people and life and I'm never in the moment when I drink. The older I get, the more I like being in the moment. You will enjoy life more with your kids and family staying in the moment with them.

esinger

You are fortunate enough to have not hit the bottom. Some say you must hit that point of major despair to realize that continuing the self abuse is futile. I don't believe this to be true. You can read posts on this site and listen to peoples drunkalogs at your meetings if you want a taste of what lurks at the bottom.

I had pretty much destroyed my relationship with my wife and kids. Two years sober and my daughter is just now starting to treat me with a little respect. You have the option of not letting it get to that point. At 10 drinks a day, it would just be a matter of time.

Keep at it! It's worth it ! Enjoy your cake.

Stayingsober72

This in a nutshell. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. One may be a fun drunk and have lost nothing at one point, but in a couple of years, it could be a lot worse. It was that way for me.

Briar

I know exactly how you feel. I keep thinking I wasn't that bad because I didn't get caught driving or working drunk and nothing terrible happened, but I was loaded 24/7 and risked everything. AV keeps telling me I could do it all over again, and it would be fine. That sobriety is way overrated, and I didn't really have a problem to begin with. Seems crazy when I step back and look at the situation from a distance.

MavisTheFairy13

Never doubt your decision. You made it for a reason after all. Read about AVRT it's really helping me. I've been out to a friends house without drinking, had a great time sober and could remember the conversation and the films the next day! For me drinking wasn't fun anymore as it just wasn't having the same effect. I'm enjoying my food a lot more now!

Nonsensical

I have that voice in my head, too. It took me 25 years to realize that not one single thing it ever told me was true. Not one. It is a liar and a thief that would murder me if I let it.

The most difficult thing I came to terms with is that being addicted means part of my own brain will betray me to get what it wants. It cannot be trusted.

N3p3nth3

For years I was in this cycle where I would drink myself to sleep, then dry up for a few days, then start over. The day after drinking, it would be so clear to me that what I was doing was unhealthy and just overall lame. I could see full well that this wasn't who I wanted to be.

But by the third or forth day, the voice in my mind would change and start saying precisely the things the OP is describing. "It's not a big deal. So what if you drink? You've accomplished lots. There are no major problems in your life. So go to the store and buy some vodka. It'll be nice."

There were some heavier spells and some lighter spells, but this silly cycle basically went on for over a decade, and I felt horrible about it.

What broke the cycle? Some scary tests from the doctor ultimately did it for me. Even though I wasn't drinking daily, the binges were damaging my liver. This was the panic I needed to finally make a change.

I'm now approaching two months into sobriety, and in my particular case, these maladaptive thought patterns start to fade out after about the third weak. Now I just have to be careful about occasional triggers like stress at work.

What's most important is that I can now see just how much damage I was actually doing. All that time, I was rationalizing away that things weren't that bad, when the truth is that my life could have been so much richer and happier if I had made this change earlier on. With only about 7 weeks of sobriety, my mind is clearer, my mood is improved, I'm in better physical condition, I'm spending time working on things that are important to me, and the list goes on...