Originally Posted by Luper

... I do plan on going back to this meeting on Saturday.

Originally Posted by Luper

I do plan on going back to this meeting on Saturday.

Originally Posted by Serenidad

Ugh!!! This thread reminds me of why I left AA half way through my 6 years of sobriety. Bad memories! People on their pedestals, depressing topics, the slogans, the holding hands and saying the Lord's Prayer at the end (creepy even though I love the Lords Prayer), the "clicks", the bullies (yes I was bullied by some sick women a few times), the labels, the sick people that do things like that woman did to you! Why??? Why would she have said that to you? I would never do that!

Just last night I posted that I was returning to AA (since my relapse). After reading all of the comments on this thread...the bad memories came flooding back.....now I'm not sure.

BTW....this is not "AA BASHING"!!! This post is ME speaking MY TRUTH after many years in AA. This thread has made me reconsider my return to AA. I'm honestly glad I stumbled upon it because maybe I'm saving myself from wasting any more time there.

You see....you go to an AA every single day for years like I did and listen to the same people say the same things over and over and over and over....you start to believe them. At least that's what happened to me...

AA told me that if I left I would die, be in jail or miserable. They told me if so relapsed I would NEVER get sober again. FEAR FEAR FEAR! They took away ALL my confidence to be able to stay sober on my own. I am brain-washed!

Gotta figure out my next move. Lots of praying ahead.

Again........this is not me bashing AA! Just speaking my truth. That's allowed here, right? Thx.

***To the original poster.....forget that crazy woman! Just laugh at her! I happen to live in a city with over 700 AA meetings a week. YES there are some sick and scary people in the meetings but there are a few good eggs if you just sit and listen. You'll figure out who there are. Good luck!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Originally Posted by Serenidad

Ugh!!! This thread reminds me of why I left AA half way through my 6 years of sobriety. Bad memories! People on their pedestals, depressing topics, the slogans, the holding hands and saying the Lord's Prayer at the end (creepy even though I love the Lords Prayer), the "clicks", the bullies (yes I was bullied by some sick women a few times), the labels, the sick people that do things like that woman did to you! Why??? Why would she have said that to you? I would never do that!

Just last night I posted that I was returning to AA (since my relapse). After reading all of the comments on this thread...the bad memories came flooding back.....now I'm not sure.

BTW....this is not "AA BASHING"!!! This post is ME speaking MY TRUTH after many years in AA. This thread has made me reconsider my return to AA. I'm honestly glad I stumbled upon it because maybe I'm saving myself from wasting any more time there.

You see....you go to an AA every single day for years like I did and listen to the same people say the same things over and over and over and over....you start to believe them. At least that's what happened to me...

AA told me that if I left I would die, be in jail or miserable. They told me if so relapsed I would NEVER get sober again. FEAR FEAR FEAR! They took away ALL my confidence to be able to stay sober on my own. I am brain-washed!

Gotta figure out my next move. Lots of praying ahead.

Again........this is not me bashing AA! Just speaking my truth. That's allowed here, right? Thx.

***To the original poster.....forget that crazy woman! Just laugh at her! I happen to live in a city with over 700 AA meetings a week. YES there are some sick and scary people in the meetings but there are a few good eggs if you just sit and listen. You'll figure out who there are. Good luck!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Originally Posted by Lovenjoy

hi Luper. 49 days right?! keep on truckin!!! it gets better and better, really! i have been following your thread here as AA is one of the most valuable tools i have in my tool box. AA has helped me over the years to learn how to collect many more tools that support my sobriety. i decided to add my 2 cents here ..... to me it seems that you Luper brought up the amazing point of how do we deal with offensive/negative people in early recovery when we are so raw and new to dealing with feelings. period. for me i think it's about what can we learn about ourselves, what can we learn about boundaries, what can we learn about not reacting and instead reflecting (which you are doing!), how can we see a way to promote the kind of fellowship with others which is healthy. the occasional friction in the halls is no different than the friction we occasionally bump into everyday! reflecting on this thread this morning i initially thought, yeah those people can be real pains! why do i bother with meetings? whoa!?!? i get so much out of regular meetings and always have so it really bothered me that i even had such thoughts. this is the newcomers part of this fantastic recovery community. i would encourage all newcomers (and everyone!) to approach any and all recovery options, including AA, with an open mind. it could save your life. we never know where the nugget of gold will turn up which shines brightly in the tool box of recovery. if i let the negative aspects of the world hold prime real estate in my head i would never leave my house. to me this whole discussion is about how do we live sober no matter what life throws our way. i have learned to gather the good stuff at meetings and let the bs roll off my back. it takes time but being able to do this in meetings has helped me do this in other aspects of life. and sometimes i'm better at this than others! take what you need and leave the rest..... Make the most of the best and the least of the worst.

Originally Posted by Serenidad

Ugh!!! This thread reminds me of why I left AA half way through my 6 years of sobriety. Bad memories! People on their pedestals, depressing topics, the slogans, the holding hands and saying the Lord's Prayer at the end (creepy even though I love the Lords Prayer), the "clicks", the bullies (yes I was bullied by some sick women a few times), the labels, the sick people that do things like that woman did to you! Why??? Why would she have said that to you? I would never do that!

Originally Posted by Ken33xx

Granted there are dysfunctional people in AA regardless of sobriety date. However, over the years I've found most members to be o.k. I wouldn't write-off AA because of the weirdness you've experienced. That's often par for the course when dealing with people. Maybe try and find some new meetings as I'm sure you know the vibe can often vary greatly.

Originally Posted by MesaMan

Luper ~ What I read from you is that you were nearly triggered by attending a Meeting. A Trigger is a Trigger. I would suggest dispassionately looking at it as such. No more, no less. I went into a Liquor Store ~2 months into Sobriety because Da Wife asked me to get her some Wine. Yah, a challenge, but not a huge deal. I'd already made my Big Plan. It was simply a question of sticking to it. The Mind is the ultimate HP. After ~3 months, I could go down Booze Aisles in Supermarkets, or spend limited time in Bars IF I were there for, say, Chicken Wings Night. Others avoid these Scenarios for very long times, or forever. I drank for Decades, and decided to quit. End of story. SR and perusing RR Slides on line did the trick for me; the only Recovery Story that concerns me. I'm achieving freedom from Addiction and freedom from Dogma or Schedules. IMO, this all boils down to timing. Like a Person going into a Bar or Supermarket Aisle, are you ready to face 'Miz Know It All'. No harm in skipping her malarkey, or Venues full of such malarkey. Whether Sober or not, I simply tell such types: 'I'll give your suggestions all the consideration they deserve'. I.e., zippo de nada. Then, I walk away. Time's a wastin', and there's positive Folks to meet elsewhere. Out in Life, living Sober. Effortlessly. SR is very efficient. I am not going it alone. I sort through Posts here for a few 'Knowledge Knuggets', and skip the overtly silly Posts blatantly free of Critical Thinking. Folks here are declaring that it's 'good' or 'necessary' to change from being an Introvert. Actually, no. I know plenty of them in the Hard Sciences. They're Sober, and wired as they are. IF you want to change, then change. That's an entirely different issue than Social Avoidance via Alcohol. Introversion may not meet the ideal of what someone thinks you ought to be like, or morph into. You're not them. Alternately, a long Weekend in Manhattan might provide you plenty of Confrontation Training.-) High Stakes Int'l Business in 18 Countries, like Korea and Germany, honed my Skill Set. Thread after Thread here attests to enjoying a more calm and - yes - Introverted-appearing Life in Sobriety. Folks stay Home more. They focus on new/old Hobbies. I Trailer Camp and take Snapshots. I work on finishing details at our Dream House. I've had a Lifetime of dealing with extremely-demanding Customers, and our House Renters. 'Twas time to move on down the Road... My take is to re-examine assumptions, and critically-think my way through to what's real and true for me. A few select Mentors help in this regard, but at the Peer level. My non-negotiable Social Bottom Line is to expect that Folks - and Drunks - can conduct themselves appropriately. And, guess what? Having and exercising Standards leads to not wasting time on the false gawd that there's value in every Drunk Messenger, so endure them. There's a term for that practice: me having a lack of Self Esteem [which I don't]. I am Genetically wired to Addiction. That is not some Character Defect. Your existing Toolkit was working, apparently. If you've not felt similarly accosted here at SR, then there's your own message to absorb: stick with SR for now. Come time for further challenges, stick your big Toe in the Water at your pace, and not before. That might even be a Meeting this Saturday, eh? Selecting your Social Situations is not a sign of weakness, or something defective in you. As the Canadian Punker Avril Lavigne, and others, sing: 'don't try to fix me; I'm not broken'. By this I mean: trust your unbroken Instincts re: your appropriate Toolkit while 'fixing' that which is broken. Alcoholism/Addictive Behavior. Meetings will always be there. Hence, the title to this Post. Blow off People and advice that your Gut tells you is faulty for you. From exercising this conviction comes confidence in Sobriety, and an end to Doormat-ism.