notmyboy

My 24 year old son checked himself into rehab a week ago. He has called each night and talked about his realization that he is an alcoholic and the help he was getting. Today , he told me he was coming home in a few days and that it was recommended that he not stay alone in his own apartment. I want to support him in his recovery, but I moved to a smaller place when he moved to his apartment. There is not a extra room and the daughter who still lives with me does not have a good relationship with him. I am so worried. I want to help and I want him to be safe, but don't want to enable him. I am new to this and know there are no hard and fast answers, but right now I'm not even sure I have the right questions;

Lorax1981

Maybe you could go to his place and help him clean up and stock the fridge, that's what my mom did and it helped a lot. Hang out until bedtime and repeat. Just an idea. If he's gonna stay sober he's gotta do it for himself but some motherly love can't hurt. Try not to talk/worry about the future around him, just try to be there for him. That's my two pennies. Good luck!
-Ted

MelindaFlowers

I like the idea of going over to his place to help. Plan fun things in the evening with him like watch movies. Also, give him a recommendation to this site! It really is up to him to stay sober. I used to sneak out of my dad's house when I was staying with him to drink, and I was 30! It sounds like he found a lot of good tools in rehab and he will use them. If someone wants to drink it really doesn't matter what kind of supervision they're locked up in a bedroom. I will say though that having my parents around does help me to stay sober.

PickleMan

In my opinion you should encourage him to spend more time in rehab. 10-14 days doesnt seem sufficient to me. Most people spend at least 45 days and most end up doing 60-90.

That first week is just basically detox, after that is when the actual "rehab" starts..

But if he is determined to come home, then as the others have said, go stay some nights at his place

notmyboy

thanks to everyone for their concern and empathy. Spoke to my son today. Unfortunately, our insurance doesn't cover a longer rehab stay. I need to be ready to put my thoughts into word with my kids and accept that it might be a big blow up. (It has in the past) My son says "this isn't your problem, I have to work it out", but asking me to change my entire household is "my problem" and I have to make him see that. Just living with me can't keep him sober (he'd have 8 hours a day to drink while I work, if he chose,) I'm thinking of allowing him to stay 2 weeks (sober and working a program) After that doing what some suggest, allowing him to spend time here but sleeping in and maintaining his own place. I'm, also. going to suggest he use the the family gym membership to get out and do something active.

PickleMan

That sounds like a pretty solid plan

If he is serious about wanting to stop, you should share this site with him.. It helps me because it's a resource that is available 24/7 with people who offer their support and experiences

Anna

I would caution you about sharing this site with your son because it would likely impede your ability to speak freely.


I agree that helping your son get his apartment organized would be the best bet. If he really doesn't want to be alone, maybe a friend of his could come and stay. You can be supportive of your daughter that way and hopefully prevent any problems at your home.