Keeping a sponsor
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Walnut Creek, CA
Posts: 2
Keeping a sponsor
I have just over 60 days sobriety and have a question about keeping a sponsor.
I discovered that the person I asked to sponsor me has at least 4 other sponsees with less than 60 days sobriety. He's working actively with at least 4 others with longer periods of sobriety from 5 mos to 3 years. He started a meeting, which is not listed in the local meeting list. The last time I attended the room had 12 people, half of which were his own sponsees. And a sponsee of his sponsee. He's having trouble paying the rent on the room and asking for more than the standard $1 in the basket. I think he expected to fill a big room because of the great knowledge he has about the Big Book and that everyone would flock to hear him talk.
It occurred to me he was actively collecting sponsees as he believes they keep him sober. I began having trouble with him keeping a time to meet, and cutting short the time we had previously designated.
Is it wrong to want a different sponsor so early in recovery? Should I just tough it out, even though I don't feel this person can be very helpful to me?
I discovered that the person I asked to sponsor me has at least 4 other sponsees with less than 60 days sobriety. He's working actively with at least 4 others with longer periods of sobriety from 5 mos to 3 years. He started a meeting, which is not listed in the local meeting list. The last time I attended the room had 12 people, half of which were his own sponsees. And a sponsee of his sponsee. He's having trouble paying the rent on the room and asking for more than the standard $1 in the basket. I think he expected to fill a big room because of the great knowledge he has about the Big Book and that everyone would flock to hear him talk.
It occurred to me he was actively collecting sponsees as he believes they keep him sober. I began having trouble with him keeping a time to meet, and cutting short the time we had previously designated.
Is it wrong to want a different sponsor so early in recovery? Should I just tough it out, even though I don't feel this person can be very helpful to me?
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Scorchinscotty 
I have just over 60 days sobriety and have a question about keeping a sponsor.
I discovered that the person I asked to sponsor me has at least 4 other sponsees with less than 60 days sobriety. He's working actively with at least 4 others with longer periods of sobriety from 5 mos to 3 years. He started a meeting, which is not listed in the local meeting list. The last time I attended the room had 12 people, half of which were his own sponsees. And a sponsee of his sponsee. He's having trouble paying the rent on the room and asking for more than the standard $1 in the basket. I think he expected to fill a big room because of the great knowledge he has about the Big Book and that everyone would flock to hear him talk.
It occurred to me he was actively collecting sponsees as he believes they keep him sober. I began having trouble with him keeping a time to meet, and cutting short the time we had previously designated.
Is it wrong to want a different sponsor so early in recovery? Should I just tough it out, even though I don't feel this person can be very helpful to me?
I discovered that the person I asked to sponsor me has at least 4 other sponsees with less than 60 days sobriety. He's working actively with at least 4 others with longer periods of sobriety from 5 mos to 3 years. He started a meeting, which is not listed in the local meeting list. The last time I attended the room had 12 people, half of which were his own sponsees. And a sponsee of his sponsee. He's having trouble paying the rent on the room and asking for more than the standard $1 in the basket. I think he expected to fill a big room because of the great knowledge he has about the Big Book and that everyone would flock to hear him talk.
It occurred to me he was actively collecting sponsees as he believes they keep him sober. I began having trouble with him keeping a time to meet, and cutting short the time we had previously designated.
Is it wrong to want a different sponsor so early in recovery? Should I just tough it out, even though I don't feel this person can be very helpful to me?
This is a link from SR forum posted by CarolD of SR. This is an AA pamphlet with info regarding sponsors/sponsorship.
Alcoholics Anonymous : Questions and Answers on Sponsorship
Maybe this will help!
Fly
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
One of my primary qualifications for a sponsor is that they have time for me. Nothing against your current sponsor but only one person can do so much.
There is nothing wrong with looking for someone that has more time
There is nothing wrong with looking for someone that has more time
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