One week back on the wagon
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 596
One week back on the wagon
I haven't posted very much this first week because they are the same words I posted the LAST first week lol. I have a secret weapon this time and wanted to share.
My sister. I asked her for help this time and she is more than happy to help her brother. The biggest trigger I seem to have in my sobriety is from the time I get off work until I can get dinner into me. So, I asked her if she could call me every day at 4:30 and ask me if I was going home to drink.
A few of the days the answer was yes. My day sucked, I don't care anymore I just want the stress to go away - insert anything that my av could come up with as justification. The first time I said yes, she asked me to come over first because she had something to give me.
When I walked in she gave me the biggest longest hug of my life and said "I really wish you wouldn't go back into hiding, we miss you" and choked back a tear....
I sat down speechless... all i could say was "I'm not drinking tonight, I'm staying here for awhile"
She called my niece over and we all had a good meal. I went home and felt strong.
On the other days when the answer was yes, she would offer something else to do first.
"wouldn't you like to go out to eat with me and walk at the park first?"
"well before you do, your niece wants to come by because she needs help with her laptop, said she will bring meatloaf and some biscuits"
"but... I made you some cookies and we got a new dog today. I was thinking you could bring Milo over and they could play"
She never tells me not to drink, she knows good and well I can do what I please.
She also knows her brother and that I need distraction from my thoughts sometimes because doing what I please isn't always something I should be trusted too.
God I love her. If it were anyone else I think av would be telling me I am not doing it for me, I am for her. There might be some truth to this, but I am ok with that for now.
She bakes killer cookies btw
My sister. I asked her for help this time and she is more than happy to help her brother. The biggest trigger I seem to have in my sobriety is from the time I get off work until I can get dinner into me. So, I asked her if she could call me every day at 4:30 and ask me if I was going home to drink.
A few of the days the answer was yes. My day sucked, I don't care anymore I just want the stress to go away - insert anything that my av could come up with as justification. The first time I said yes, she asked me to come over first because she had something to give me.
When I walked in she gave me the biggest longest hug of my life and said "I really wish you wouldn't go back into hiding, we miss you" and choked back a tear....
I sat down speechless... all i could say was "I'm not drinking tonight, I'm staying here for awhile"
She called my niece over and we all had a good meal. I went home and felt strong.
On the other days when the answer was yes, she would offer something else to do first.
"wouldn't you like to go out to eat with me and walk at the park first?"
"well before you do, your niece wants to come by because she needs help with her laptop, said she will bring meatloaf and some biscuits"
"but... I made you some cookies and we got a new dog today. I was thinking you could bring Milo over and they could play"
She never tells me not to drink, she knows good and well I can do what I please.
She also knows her brother and that I need distraction from my thoughts sometimes because doing what I please isn't always something I should be trusted too.
God I love her. If it were anyone else I think av would be telling me I am not doing it for me, I am for her. There might be some truth to this, but I am ok with that for now.
She bakes killer cookies btw
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 596
Thanks Mavis She knew last time I was quitting drinking but I never asked for help, so she didn't pry.
In the next week or so I am going to try a meeting. I know I will need lifelong support and purpose. She and SR are helping me get through the first weeks of emotions and unrest, but I cannot forget this is where I end up again if I drink.
She knew last time I was quitting drinking but I never asked for help, so she didn't pry. In the next week or so I am going to try a meeting. I know I will need lifelong support and purpose. She and SR are helping me get through the first weeks of emotions and unrest, but I cannot forget this is where I end up again if I drink.
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