My experiment - haha
time to shine again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 40
My experiment - haha
Okay everyone, I have a confession to make.
On Thursday, I hit day 11. After my class ended at 4 p.m. (I don't have classes on Friday), I "decided" to conduct an experiment to see how many beers it would take for me to feel a buzz, and that would be my cut-off point.
Right now, I can imagine all you experienced folks howling with laughter.
But, get this: I bought two 5% beers and felt a buzz halfway through the second one. So my rational mind said: "okay -- 2 beer limit, that's all." But, my AV (WOW I HAVE ONE!!) said, "oh, just go get a couple more." So, I did.
Drank four 5% beers over a five hour period. Did not get "snot-slinging drunk" but mildlly, stupid -- and the weirdest, most revealing thing was the next day, I was as hungover and crappy feeling as if I had drank an entire bottle of wine!!
I don't regret this experiment, because it showed me how easily I'm affected by alcohol, and how quickly that craving hits. Thankfully, I was at home and didn't do anything stupid and just had to deal with a cruddy hangover.
But -- Wow!! Won't be doing that again! I AM an Alcoholic!
On Thursday, I hit day 11. After my class ended at 4 p.m. (I don't have classes on Friday), I "decided" to conduct an experiment to see how many beers it would take for me to feel a buzz, and that would be my cut-off point.
Right now, I can imagine all you experienced folks howling with laughter.
But, get this: I bought two 5% beers and felt a buzz halfway through the second one. So my rational mind said: "okay -- 2 beer limit, that's all." But, my AV (WOW I HAVE ONE!!) said, "oh, just go get a couple more." So, I did.
Drank four 5% beers over a five hour period. Did not get "snot-slinging drunk" but mildlly, stupid -- and the weirdest, most revealing thing was the next day, I was as hungover and crappy feeling as if I had drank an entire bottle of wine!!
I don't regret this experiment, because it showed me how easily I'm affected by alcohol, and how quickly that craving hits. Thankfully, I was at home and didn't do anything stupid and just had to deal with a cruddy hangover.
But -- Wow!! Won't be doing that again! I AM an Alcoholic!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
I wonder why you decided to conduct an experiment after 11 days sober? Maybe you could add something to your recovery plan to prevent that happening again.
I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery.
I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
not howling over here, golden.
so you "decided" in quotation marks that you needed an experiment...
how much "deciding" was there, do you think, vs a compulsion and wanting to simply drink?
not being snarky here, but do want to say that the most revealing thing from over here is not the fact that you felt crappy the next day but that you went back to drinking.
make sense?
so you "decided" in quotation marks that you needed an experiment...
how much "deciding" was there, do you think, vs a compulsion and wanting to simply drink?
not being snarky here, but do want to say that the most revealing thing from over here is not the fact that you felt crappy the next day but that you went back to drinking.
make sense?
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Doing experiments sounds a lot like drinking to me. Why on God's green earth would you need to find out how many beers it takes before you decide you hit a cutoff point at some level of buzz? Have you quit drinking? Day 11 of what? Of not drinking until you start drinking?
You can decide at any time that you have asked all your questions about drinking, and received your answers. You can be done, for good. It is all up to you, Golden. You can do it, but I think an attitude shift might be needed for this to happen. What do you think?
You can decide at any time that you have asked all your questions about drinking, and received your answers. You can be done, for good. It is all up to you, Golden. You can do it, but I think an attitude shift might be needed for this to happen. What do you think?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi Golden 
You'll probably find this a tough room
I used to dignify my relapses with titles like experiments, but they were really just rationsalisations for me to drink.
I never really gathered any new data, so I'm genuinely curious:
did you really not know this before?
D
You'll probably find this a tough room
I used to dignify my relapses with titles like experiments, but they were really just rationsalisations for me to drink.
I never really gathered any new data, so I'm genuinely curious:
I don't regret this experiment, because it showed me how easily I'm affected by alcohol, and how quickly that craving hits.
D
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
You know what? It has taken me a lot of "experiments" to accept that I am an alcoholic and learn my triggers. Looks like you had some big realizations this time. Don't forget them. It's about what you take from this and where you go from here.
10/03/2014
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 78
Why the HA HA in the subject line?
My personal interpretation of that is that you wanted people.to say that it is ok that you "experimented", which is not what you got. I have messed up more than my share of times, but admitted. I screwed up, I gave in, I made a stupid choice.
Make sure you are calling it what it was so you have a defense next time should you choose not to drink.
There are many people here to help, but I have learned that most will tell you what you NEED to hear as opposed to what you want to hear.
My personal interpretation of that is that you wanted people.to say that it is ok that you "experimented", which is not what you got. I have messed up more than my share of times, but admitted. I screwed up, I gave in, I made a stupid choice.
Make sure you are calling it what it was so you have a defense next time should you choose not to drink.
There are many people here to help, but I have learned that most will tell you what you NEED to hear as opposed to what you want to hear.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by golden1987 
Okay everyone, I have a confession to make.
On Thursday, I hit day 11. After my class ended at 4 p.m. (I don't have classes on Friday), I "decided" to conduct an experiment to see how many beers it would take for me to feel a buzz, and that would be my cut-off point.
Right now, I can imagine all you experienced folks howling with laughter.
But, get this: I bought two 5% beers and felt a buzz halfway through the second one. So my rational mind said: "okay -- 2 beer limit, that's all." But, my AV (WOW I HAVE ONE!!) said, "oh, just go get a couple more." So, I did.
Drank four 5% beers over a five hour period. Did not get "snot-slinging drunk" but mildlly, stupid -- and the weirdest, most revealing thing was the next day, I was as hungover and crappy feeling as if I had drank an entire bottle of wine!!
I don't regret this experiment, because it showed me how easily I'm affected by alcohol, and how quickly that craving hits. Thankfully, I was at home and didn't do anything stupid and just had to deal with a cruddy hangover.
But -- Wow!! Won't be doing that again! I AM an Alcoholic!
On Thursday, I hit day 11. After my class ended at 4 p.m. (I don't have classes on Friday), I "decided" to conduct an experiment to see how many beers it would take for me to feel a buzz, and that would be my cut-off point.
Right now, I can imagine all you experienced folks howling with laughter.
But, get this: I bought two 5% beers and felt a buzz halfway through the second one. So my rational mind said: "okay -- 2 beer limit, that's all." But, my AV (WOW I HAVE ONE!!) said, "oh, just go get a couple more." So, I did.
Drank four 5% beers over a five hour period. Did not get "snot-slinging drunk" but mildlly, stupid -- and the weirdest, most revealing thing was the next day, I was as hungover and crappy feeling as if I had drank an entire bottle of wine!!
I don't regret this experiment, because it showed me how easily I'm affected by alcohol, and how quickly that craving hits. Thankfully, I was at home and didn't do anything stupid and just had to deal with a cruddy hangover.
But -- Wow!! Won't be doing that again! I AM an Alcoholic!
The trick from here on in is to make that a "life lesson" that stays with you for life.
Remember the experiments results
Don't remember the experiments results
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
I kept wanting to experiment until the hell of drinking just became too much. I knew what the outcome would be every time. The experiments gave me an excuse to keep drinking.
No more experimenting here.
No more experimenting here.
time to shine again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 40
Wow Dee - you're right. This IS a tough crowd.
(1) I put the "Ha Ha" in the title line, because I was laughing at my own naive notions.
(2) I did the experiment very consciously and seriously - because, after reading the amounts that many posters here have drunk/drank(?) as well as getting halfway through the AA Book, I began to queston whether or not I really AM an alcoholic. I work with street people who are truly and horriblly addicted, and I know that I don't consume anywhere near what I am reading about or seeing via my work.
(3) What I learned is: (a) the point at which I begin to feel a buzz; and (2) that is the point at which I lost control over deciding whether to keep drinking.
I'm a bit taken aback by some of the negative responses here. I am certainly not tryingn to make light of anyones (or my own) problem with drinking alcohol, but shared this experience so that others might make use of it.
A bit shocked - and bewildered.
(1) I put the "Ha Ha" in the title line, because I was laughing at my own naive notions.
(2) I did the experiment very consciously and seriously - because, after reading the amounts that many posters here have drunk/drank(?) as well as getting halfway through the AA Book, I began to queston whether or not I really AM an alcoholic. I work with street people who are truly and horriblly addicted, and I know that I don't consume anywhere near what I am reading about or seeing via my work.
(3) What I learned is: (a) the point at which I begin to feel a buzz; and (2) that is the point at which I lost control over deciding whether to keep drinking.
I'm a bit taken aback by some of the negative responses here. I am certainly not tryingn to make light of anyones (or my own) problem with drinking alcohol, but shared this experience so that others might make use of it.
A bit shocked - and bewildered.
time to shine again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 40
I want to add that there was no psychological reason underlying my decision to do this. I am not inclined to add up sober days like pearls on a string, and then return to day one if/when I stumble.
Perhaps to some here, this isn't a great way of thinking of it, but it seems more positive to me to say, "I have drank once in the past fourteen days," which is huge considering I have come from drinking every day to every-other day to three times a week and am now deciding never to drink again.
Perhaps to some here, this isn't a great way of thinking of it, but it seems more positive to me to say, "I have drank once in the past fourteen days," which is huge considering I have come from drinking every day to every-other day to three times a week and am now deciding never to drink again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I wouldn't get too caught up in volumes - it's often not how much (or little) we drink at all - it's what happens to us when we do.
For me , in order to stay in recovery, I had to take drinking off the table as a viable option...every time I drank it, whether it was once a day or once a month, it kept me in the vicious circle I was in where drink called and I came running.
I had to accept, if I wanted change, there was no reason good enough for me to drink...not even scientific curiosity
D
For me , in order to stay in recovery, I had to take drinking off the table as a viable option...every time I drank it, whether it was once a day or once a month, it kept me in the vicious circle I was in where drink called and I came running.
I had to accept, if I wanted change, there was no reason good enough for me to drink...not even scientific curiosity
D
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
DENIAL (D)on't (E)ven (K)now (I) (A)m (L)ying
The negative responses come you trying to frame your drinking as something other than you wanting to drink. We have all lied to ourselves countless times and people are just calling you on them
The negative responses come you trying to frame your drinking as something other than you wanting to drink. We have all lied to ourselves countless times and people are just calling you on them
time to shine again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 40
Dee, I understand what you're saying; but, I needed to conduct this particular experiment for my own understanding of the level at which I am affected by alcohol.
I have a friend who was the CEO of a rehab center tell me that I am NOT an alcoholic, because their paradigm is based on the original AA construct -- the very severe drinkers, who cannot function physically without liguor in their bodies. That has never been me, but I know myself well enought to realize that, when I do drink, my life becomes chaotic, I become unmotivated, selfish, self-centered and uncaring - and now I know that I will suffer horrific hangovers from even small amounts of drinking.
These are quite enough reasons to keep me sober. What I Don't need are criticisms about my word choices or my reasons for trying better to understand myself as a
person who cannot drink - any amount.
When I wrote the line, "howling with laughter," it was because I imagined that people who have toyed around with these sorts of experiments would recognize their own history in doing the same thing - which seems to result in the same outcome.
We rarely learn from reading about the experiences of others, but must have our own experiences - and, quite frankly - I'm rather pissed off at the judgmental attitude to which I have just been treated by some of the respondents.
I have a friend who was the CEO of a rehab center tell me that I am NOT an alcoholic, because their paradigm is based on the original AA construct -- the very severe drinkers, who cannot function physically without liguor in their bodies. That has never been me, but I know myself well enought to realize that, when I do drink, my life becomes chaotic, I become unmotivated, selfish, self-centered and uncaring - and now I know that I will suffer horrific hangovers from even small amounts of drinking.
These are quite enough reasons to keep me sober. What I Don't need are criticisms about my word choices or my reasons for trying better to understand myself as a
person who cannot drink - any amount.
When I wrote the line, "howling with laughter," it was because I imagined that people who have toyed around with these sorts of experiments would recognize their own history in doing the same thing - which seems to result in the same outcome.
We rarely learn from reading about the experiences of others, but must have our own experiences - and, quite frankly - I'm rather pissed off at the judgmental attitude to which I have just been treated by some of the respondents.
time to shine again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
DENIAL (D)on't (E)ven (K)now (I) (A)m (L)ying
The negative responses come you trying to frame your drinking as something other than you wanting to drink. We have all lied to ourselves countless times and people are just calling you on them
The negative responses come you trying to frame your drinking as something other than you wanting to drink. We have all lied to ourselves countless times and people are just calling you on them
I did not begin this experiement WANTING to drink - and gagged through the first beer; but, forced myself to do it because I truly wanted to feel when "the buzz" hit. So many times, we drink fast and don't pay attention to when the alcohol affects us; so I needed to have that information for myself.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
On page 31 of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, in the chapter entitled "More About Alcoholism" it says:
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself:
Step over to the nearest barroom and try a little controlled drinking.
Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try more than once.
It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it.
It may be worth a bad case of the jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."
Controlled Drinking - A Test for Alcoholism
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself:
Step over to the nearest barroom and try a little controlled drinking.
Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try more than once.
It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it.
It may be worth a bad case of the jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."
Controlled Drinking - A Test for Alcoholism
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I went back and looked at your past posts. I see you're struggling with how to define yourself.
I wouldn't worry too much about the label. Problem drinkers and alcohol abusers wreck their lives and die just like alcoholics do.
A problem is a problem regardless of what some rehab CEO says or friends or family, or even us here. You know better than anyone why you're here
If you stay sober, you'll find your perception will change and things get a lot clearer.
If you're a drinker like me, the way forward is to excise alcohol from your life, not invite it back in, no matter how noble the motive.
That's the message people are trying to give you here, I think, in various and sundry ways....
we look out for each other here
D
I wouldn't worry too much about the label. Problem drinkers and alcohol abusers wreck their lives and die just like alcoholics do.
A problem is a problem regardless of what some rehab CEO says or friends or family, or even us here. You know better than anyone why you're here
If you stay sober, you'll find your perception will change and things get a lot clearer.
If you're a drinker like me, the way forward is to excise alcohol from your life, not invite it back in, no matter how noble the motive.
That's the message people are trying to give you here, I think, in various and sundry ways....
we look out for each other here
D
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