Hello, I'm new here and sober 2 days.
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Hello, I'm new here and sober 2 days.
Hi everyone.
I'm a long term alcoholic, used to be whiskey but now red wine every night-I denied it for years because I function , run my own business, but I was just hiding it from my family, drinking alone at night.
But now at 52 I've come to realise that it is gonna kill me. I want to see my grandkids grow up so I've decided (again) to stop.
I sound calm about it but there is a voice screaming in my head "Drink Drink Drink Drink Drink !!!! "
"No no no!" I shout back.
However hard this is, I am going to do it.
I have things to keep my mind occupied, so I can get through, just, and I'm craving carrot juice of all things.
I'm in the UK and am going to my first AA meeting on Monday.
I'm scared. Scared that I will give in to the drink again. i keep replaying picking up a glass of wine in my head, what it feels like ,what it tastes like, and that oblivion that follows where I don't care about anything.
but it's not worth it, I know it's not, but that glass, that feeling...
I am determined, today...but will I be tomorrow ? Will I make an excuse to drink ? That's what scares me most.
I have things to take my mind off it and a good motive.
Am I doing it right ?
Thank you all
Janie J.
I'm a long term alcoholic, used to be whiskey but now red wine every night-I denied it for years because I function , run my own business, but I was just hiding it from my family, drinking alone at night.
But now at 52 I've come to realise that it is gonna kill me. I want to see my grandkids grow up so I've decided (again) to stop.
I sound calm about it but there is a voice screaming in my head "Drink Drink Drink Drink Drink !!!! "
"No no no!" I shout back.
However hard this is, I am going to do it.
I have things to keep my mind occupied, so I can get through, just, and I'm craving carrot juice of all things.
I'm in the UK and am going to my first AA meeting on Monday.
I'm scared. Scared that I will give in to the drink again. i keep replaying picking up a glass of wine in my head, what it feels like ,what it tastes like, and that oblivion that follows where I don't care about anything.
but it's not worth it, I know it's not, but that glass, that feeling...
I am determined, today...but will I be tomorrow ? Will I make an excuse to drink ? That's what scares me most.
I have things to take my mind off it and a good motive.
Am I doing it right ?
Thank you all
Janie J.
Just another day...
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 274
Hi Janie J. Welcome. Congrats on 2 days sober! Im 11 days today. I don't know if there is a right or wrong way to stay sober. I have my way. And along with my way any help/advice/tips/insightful reasoning/ etc I can get through this group the better. And you will get that here. So many people with so much experience and uplifting words that I find it truely amazing. There will be posts that make you cry and posts that make you laugh your butt off. Soak up all you can.
Its normal to be scared. That voice/alcohol has been our best friend for years. Now we must kick it to the curb.
When you get a chance, if you haven't yet, go read "things I don't have to do anymore" in this forum. Some funny moments. Maybe it can give you a laugh and help remind you why you don't want to drink.
Its normal to be scared. That voice/alcohol has been our best friend for years. Now we must kick it to the curb.
When you get a chance, if you haven't yet, go read "things I don't have to do anymore" in this forum. Some funny moments. Maybe it can give you a laugh and help remind you why you don't want to drink.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,323
Welcome to SR. The early days are tough. Get through them hour by hour if needed. Hang on to whatever lifelines you need.
SR. AA. Whatever works for you. These two help me.
I'm glad you're posting here. You can do this.
SR. AA. Whatever works for you. These two help me.
I'm glad you're posting here. You can do this.
A.K.A Bri
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 159
Hi Janie,
I, as a recovering alcoholic, absolutely understand your fears. Making the decision to stop drinking isn't easy and sticking with that decision is even more difficult. The one thing that's helped me so far on my sobriety journey is remembering WHY I decided to stop in the first place. It sounds like your family, your lifespan, and your overall quality of life have lead you to wanting to quit so if / when you get the urge to drink remind yourself that you have things bigger than you that are reasons to stick by your decision. Like it says in my signature, go at it one day at a time. Don't preoccupy your mind with the "what if" scenarios because that only adds to your anxiety unnecessarily. Deal with any urges or difficulties as they arise. Just remember sobriety is a promise you're making to yourself and when the going gets tough remember those beautiful grandchildren and how much happier and healthier you will be when the hard part goes away. Because the hard part WILL go away.
Good luck!
-B
I, as a recovering alcoholic, absolutely understand your fears. Making the decision to stop drinking isn't easy and sticking with that decision is even more difficult. The one thing that's helped me so far on my sobriety journey is remembering WHY I decided to stop in the first place. It sounds like your family, your lifespan, and your overall quality of life have lead you to wanting to quit so if / when you get the urge to drink remind yourself that you have things bigger than you that are reasons to stick by your decision. Like it says in my signature, go at it one day at a time. Don't preoccupy your mind with the "what if" scenarios because that only adds to your anxiety unnecessarily. Deal with any urges or difficulties as they arise. Just remember sobriety is a promise you're making to yourself and when the going gets tough remember those beautiful grandchildren and how much happier and healthier you will be when the hard part goes away. Because the hard part WILL go away.
Good luck!-B
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Welcome to SR and congratulations on 2days sobriety.
It helped me in my early days to know it was the first drink that was my problem,that was the only drink I had to stay away from.
Wishing you well for your first AA meeting.
It helped me in my early days to know it was the first drink that was my problem,that was the only drink I had to stay away from.
Wishing you well for your first AA meeting.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome Janie!
It's going to really help you to be here. I was around your age when I finally faced the fact that I was shortening my life by continuing my daily drinking. I was totally dependent on it & had no one to turn to. My friends & family were social drinkers & didn't get why I couldn't just have 'one' now and then. There is no 'one' for us. I spent many years insisting I could manage the amounts I drank - but in the end, it was much simpler to just stop all together. I had no control. You're doing a brave thing, and you'll never regret it.
It's going to really help you to be here. I was around your age when I finally faced the fact that I was shortening my life by continuing my daily drinking. I was totally dependent on it & had no one to turn to. My friends & family were social drinkers & didn't get why I couldn't just have 'one' now and then. There is no 'one' for us. I spent many years insisting I could manage the amounts I drank - but in the end, it was much simpler to just stop all together. I had no control. You're doing a brave thing, and you'll never regret it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,358
Welcome, Janie. I really understand how scary it can be to worry whether I can keep my sobriety tomorrow. It helped me to consciously make a decision to let tomorrow go and focus on today. Posting here helped a lot because everyone one of us knows what you're going through. Stay strong, Sister!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 668
Hi Janie I'm from UK too. Am on day 4 of no booze, need to get healthy to be around for my little boy. Everyone is really supportive here. Just remember to post if you get down or get the urge. Good luck for your AA meeting tomorrow
I'm from UK too. Am on day 4 of no booze, need to get healthy to be around for my little boy. Everyone is really supportive here. Just remember to post if you get down or get the urge. Good luck for your AA meeting tomorrow
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 181
Originally Posted by Findingtheway 
Welcome to SR. The early days are tough. Get through them hour by hour if needed. Hang on to whatever lifelines you need.
SR. AA. Whatever works for you. These two help me.
I'm glad you're posting here. You can do this.
SR. AA. Whatever works for you. These two help me.
I'm glad you're posting here. You can do this.
love is the answer
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 1,352
Originally Posted by JanieJ
Hi everyone.
I'm a long term alcoholic, used to be whiskey but now red wine every night-I denied it for years because I function , run my own business, but I was just hiding it from my family, drinking alone at night.
But now at 52 I've come to realise that it is gonna kill me. I want to see my grandkids grow up so I've decided (again) to stop.
I sound calm about it but there is a voice screaming in my head "Drink Drink Drink Drink Drink !!!! "
"No no no!" I shout back.
However hard this is, I am going to do it.
I have things to keep my mind occupied, so I can get through, just, and I'm craving carrot juice of all things.
I'm in the UK and am going to my first AA meeting on Monday.
I'm scared. Scared that I will give in to the drink again. i keep replaying picking up a glass of wine in my head, what it feels like ,what it tastes like, and that oblivion that follows where I don't care about anything.
but it's not worth it, I know it's not, but that glass, that feeling...
I am determined, today...but will I be tomorrow ? Will I make an excuse to drink ? That's what scares me most.
I have things to take my mind off it and a good motive.
Am I doing it right ?
Thank you all
Janie J.
I'm a long term alcoholic, used to be whiskey but now red wine every night-I denied it for years because I function , run my own business, but I was just hiding it from my family, drinking alone at night.
But now at 52 I've come to realise that it is gonna kill me. I want to see my grandkids grow up so I've decided (again) to stop.
I sound calm about it but there is a voice screaming in my head "Drink Drink Drink Drink Drink !!!! "
"No no no!" I shout back.
However hard this is, I am going to do it.
I have things to keep my mind occupied, so I can get through, just, and I'm craving carrot juice of all things.
I'm in the UK and am going to my first AA meeting on Monday.
I'm scared. Scared that I will give in to the drink again. i keep replaying picking up a glass of wine in my head, what it feels like ,what it tastes like, and that oblivion that follows where I don't care about anything.
but it's not worth it, I know it's not, but that glass, that feeling...
I am determined, today...but will I be tomorrow ? Will I make an excuse to drink ? That's what scares me most.
I have things to take my mind off it and a good motive.
Am I doing it right ?
Thank you all
Janie J.
Congrats on 2 days
Let us know how your meeting goes?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 51
Welcome Janie, I know those first few days feel defeating but you are doing great. I am on day 11 and what works for my cravings is reliving in my mind the most recent event that made me think "I've gotta quit drinking." Mine was drunkenly deciding to polish off an entire batch of chocolate ppudding. It took me about three minutes to eat it and another five to throw the whole thing up in the bathroom sink. The whole time I was thinking "I have to stop" and now when I have a craving I just remember how i felt looking down at a sink full of chocolate pudding and feeling like my eyes were going to pop right out of my head, knowing that my first glass of wine was what put me there. I know you can do this, just keep reading and posting.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 1,629
Hi Janie,
The beginning is very difficult. It gets better with time and after that there will be the occasional challenges where you may want to start again. When your AV starts talking just recognize it as your AV, not you... and tell it to go away. Get lost AV.
This forum is a great place. Come back and visit often. Read and post. You might want to try posting here. It helped me in the beginning (hey, I'm still in the beginning).
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-daily-support-threads/347460-24-hour-recovery-connections-part-19-a.html
Goose
The beginning is very difficult. It gets better with time and after that there will be the occasional challenges where you may want to start again. When your AV starts talking just recognize it as your AV, not you... and tell it to go away. Get lost AV.
This forum is a great place. Come back and visit often. Read and post. You might want to try posting here. It helped me in the beginning (hey, I'm still in the beginning).
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-daily-support-threads/347460-24-hour-recovery-connections-part-19-a.html
Goose
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Eastern Shore of Maryland
Posts: 486
I found it helpful to keep a log of my urges in the first few weeks. By doing this I realized that my urges lasted anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes, but not longer. Also, the urges came in bunches and at the same times each day. By examining them this way they lost their ability to cause me to panic. When a urge hit, I learned to quickly do something, change my surroundings, go for a short walk.
You sound like you are doing great. Get through these first few weeks and it does get so much better. We are all pulling for you.
You sound like you are doing great. Get through these first few weeks and it does get so much better. We are all pulling for you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Burien WA.
Posts: 2,893
Good for you. Starting day two myself. It's really hard when part of you is saying " Just drink you'll feel better" When I think of putting myself through days of misery for the little bit of fun I had drinking makes you wonder why people can't stop. Drinking for alcoholics is suicide. Even for moderate drinkers it's still a poison to your body. Hang in there.
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