Buggirl

..........and I have taken the decision not to go and to work instead! I really feel aweful about this and selfish, but I really don't thin that 6 days into my sobriety I could handle a funeral! I have said my goodbyes in my own way, but one of my other ex colleagues is starting to drink of a night (as they were close) and last night put a sarcastic message to me on Facebook. This is another reason I didn't want to go as the past is the past and I didn't want to feel under pressure. Am I selfish ?

Dmcheshire

I think the person sending you the messages is being selfish. Grief is a very personal thing and nobody has the right to dictate to you how you choose to deal with it.

littlegoose

I would say the amount of selfishness of this act doesn't matter. If your goal is to stay sober, and this will trigger a relapse, you shouldn't go. It would be wrong to sabotage yourself for fear of offending someone.

Mags1

No, you are not selfish.

First and foremost is your sobriety.

I'm so sorry for your friend who has passed away but a friend would understand your reasons.

Ignore the drunken messages on fb from ex colleagues. Let him live his life, you live yours. Your thoughts and actions are none of their business. They will have more regrets after they remember what they did in a drunken stupor.

afloatsober

I think you have done the right thing. It's not selfish but it is self care and we need to do that sober. A funeral is very emotional and can stir up all sorts of feelings that can hijack us in early recovery.
I recently missed a friends funeral. Just could not deal with it at the time. But i did pay my respects privately in my own way, just as you will.
That's ok.
In time we get more resilient.
Fantastic on 6 days!!
G

Buggirl

Thanks guys really needed to hear some supportive messages today, so thanks again!

Sloth

I'm sorry about the loss of your colleague. But you have made the right decision, you know you have. Ignore your idiot ex colleague.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss Buggirl, but no I don;t think you're selfish. I think you've nade a great decision based on new priorities.

Anyone who sent me a sarcastic message over my decision is probably not someone I need to be friends with?

D

Soberwolf

Oh buggirl big hugs really sorry for your loss....Condolences

as for the other person poisting msg's their not worth your friendship or your time

sorry for your loss

PurpleKnight

Your priority is your Sobreity, and it's not selfish to put that before anything else!!

Very sorry for your loss!!

Twofish

I'm so sorry about your friend Buggirl.
Personally, FB is getting old, people say things that hurt, they also hide and only say things they think are important. Maybe this "friend" is not a friend and it needs to an "unfriend"?
TF