50 days of being much nicer
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 13
50 days of being much nicer
I've woken up very early this morning and am pleased with myself - which is a good feeling. Today is 50 days. So I had 7 weeks yesterday and 50 days today. I prefer the 50 days to the 7 weeks as it sounds like more of a milestone for some reason?! Either way - this is the only serious attempt I have ever made to actually stop drinking altogether, so I have a bit of a spring in my step this morning!
At some point in my 30's, I started to get bitter when I drank. Not exactly angry but cynical and thwarted. Also, the paranoia was debilitating after a weekend for days, even when drinking heavily on the Monday again. I knew I was turning into exactly the sort of person that I used to talk about myself, as someone who 'just shouldn't drink'. It's strange how drink can do that, sneak up on you mentally - when you read how much I was drinking it would hardly seem a surprise, but I used to drink more when I drank spirits.
I stopped drinking spirits years ago as I was putting the anger/behaviour down to that, then of course all drinks started having the same effect.
My day(s), 51 days ago consisted of getting up at 7am, going to work until 9pm and then drinking anything upwards of a bottle of wine and 6 beers and then, repeat. Weekends I would drink from as early as I could and could drink 2 or 3 bottles of wine in a day and a dozen beers. Stupid how you can kid yourself that as it's not whisky or rum that the effects on your mental state will somehow be better?!
I have had 6 lovely weekends on the bounce with my wife. I am a nicer, more positive person to be around. I've still been to pubs occasionally and drank coffee (it's my new drug of choice and I really look forward to one).
I suppose the reason for writing this is the number, 50 days. It's a bit of a milestone where I can reflect on what has actually happened in that time. Everything has been better. After a dodgy liver test 8 weeks ago, I've had another that's come back clear, I feel and look much younger and my marriage is brilliant - I've even got a new job and I also love that.
Sorry if all this comes across as a bit of a gloat, I can assure you it's not one - I just don't know anywhere else where I could celebrate not being a nasty, bitter drunk anymore or be honest about my consumption as it was.
At the moment, I'm just looking forward to day 100 and the journey there.
At some point in my 30's, I started to get bitter when I drank. Not exactly angry but cynical and thwarted. Also, the paranoia was debilitating after a weekend for days, even when drinking heavily on the Monday again. I knew I was turning into exactly the sort of person that I used to talk about myself, as someone who 'just shouldn't drink'. It's strange how drink can do that, sneak up on you mentally - when you read how much I was drinking it would hardly seem a surprise, but I used to drink more when I drank spirits.
I stopped drinking spirits years ago as I was putting the anger/behaviour down to that, then of course all drinks started having the same effect.
My day(s), 51 days ago consisted of getting up at 7am, going to work until 9pm and then drinking anything upwards of a bottle of wine and 6 beers and then, repeat. Weekends I would drink from as early as I could and could drink 2 or 3 bottles of wine in a day and a dozen beers. Stupid how you can kid yourself that as it's not whisky or rum that the effects on your mental state will somehow be better?!
I have had 6 lovely weekends on the bounce with my wife. I am a nicer, more positive person to be around. I've still been to pubs occasionally and drank coffee (it's my new drug of choice and I really look forward to one).
I suppose the reason for writing this is the number, 50 days. It's a bit of a milestone where I can reflect on what has actually happened in that time. Everything has been better. After a dodgy liver test 8 weeks ago, I've had another that's come back clear, I feel and look much younger and my marriage is brilliant - I've even got a new job and I also love that.
Sorry if all this comes across as a bit of a gloat, I can assure you it's not one - I just don't know anywhere else where I could celebrate not being a nasty, bitter drunk anymore or be honest about my consumption as it was.
At the moment, I'm just looking forward to day 100 and the journey there.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Hey DMcheshire,
I was a vodka drinker until a year before I stopped. I guess I saw it as a step in the right direction. Who was I kidding? Five years ago when I managed a "beer only" night I would wake up the next day without a headache or hangover. Fast forward four years and I was getting just as sick, maybe even more sick, with my nightly 12 beers.
Good point that it doesn't matter what kind of alcohol we drink. They all make us sick. I have very clear memories of what each type of hangover felt like. Vodka was a sharp headache (like an ice pick between the eyes) and stomach pains. It also made me shake the most. I felt empty the next day and craved food. Beer was a dull headache (like being hit over the head with a rubber mallet) and, ahem, "bad digestion" the next day to put it mildly. Wine was a pounding headache like your head was in a vice.
Fantastic job on the 51 days! Those first fifty days were by far the most difficult.
I was a vodka drinker until a year before I stopped. I guess I saw it as a step in the right direction. Who was I kidding? Five years ago when I managed a "beer only" night I would wake up the next day without a headache or hangover. Fast forward four years and I was getting just as sick, maybe even more sick, with my nightly 12 beers.
Good point that it doesn't matter what kind of alcohol we drink. They all make us sick. I have very clear memories of what each type of hangover felt like. Vodka was a sharp headache (like an ice pick between the eyes) and stomach pains. It also made me shake the most. I felt empty the next day and craved food. Beer was a dull headache (like being hit over the head with a rubber mallet) and, ahem, "bad digestion" the next day to put it mildly. Wine was a pounding headache like your head was in a vice.
Fantastic job on the 51 days! Those first fifty days were by far the most difficult.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 13
Thanks Melinda. Yes, the hangovers - red wine ones I used to describe as "thick", white wine was toxic. With rum, in the older days I would swear I would be more drunk in the morning than the night before as I had probably drank a bottle so quickly.
How I could kid myself I could function in the day to any level after say 8 beers and a bottle of wine with 5 hours sleep, now seems like the lunacy it was.
How I could kid myself I could function in the day to any level after say 8 beers and a bottle of wine with 5 hours sleep, now seems like the lunacy it was.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
Glad to hear you are doing well! Sounds very promising.
I would be a little careful with that whole idea of "drug of choice" though, sounds like maybe you are done with that concept being part of your life now hmm?
Carry on, doing great!
I would be a little careful with that whole idea of "drug of choice" though, sounds like maybe you are done with that concept being part of your life now hmm?
Carry on, doing great!
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