NEED HELP! Fear & anxiety! Is it rational?
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 371
Originally Posted by Hawks 
So your an alcoholic and you suspect she is too.
Alchy code usually prevents us from dropping each other in the crap.
It's an unwritten code, but having drank for 32 years, I never once got dropped in it by a fellow alcoholic.
It was always those pesky do gooder social drinker types.
It's a bit like the first rule of fight club.
First rule of alcoholic drinking is, you do not talk about alcoholic drinking.
Or deliberately drop other alchys in the crap when sober, because then people, bosses for instance, put two and two together... If she drops you in, how does she know all this and what was she doing hanging around a bar in the early hours of the morning etc when all the social drinkers are home in bed.
Your safe as houses in my experience, stop stressing.
Alchy code usually prevents us from dropping each other in the crap.
It's an unwritten code, but having drank for 32 years, I never once got dropped in it by a fellow alcoholic.
It was always those pesky do gooder social drinker types.
It's a bit like the first rule of fight club.
First rule of alcoholic drinking is, you do not talk about alcoholic drinking.
Or deliberately drop other alchys in the crap when sober, because then people, bosses for instance, put two and two together... If she drops you in, how does she know all this and what was she doing hanging around a bar in the early hours of the morning etc when all the social drinkers are home in bed.
Your safe as houses in my experience, stop stressing.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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Originally Posted by Serenidad
You're a genius Hawks! :-) Thx!
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I'm glad my experience has helped
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I missed it, Serenidad 
I don't stress over internet posts, though.
You know what to do. If you aren't drinking, your anxiety will subside, and *bonus* you won't be sharing deep dark secrets while you're intoxicated. A week is not nearly enough time to be anywhere near thinking clearly.
I don't stress over internet posts, though.You know what to do. If you aren't drinking, your anxiety will subside, and *bonus* you won't be sharing deep dark secrets while you're intoxicated. A week is not nearly enough time to be anywhere near thinking clearly.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 20
I knew I would sometimes have panic attacks and anxiety after drinking but didn't realize it was made worse because of the alcohol. Happy for you that you have decided to quit. Just take this one day at a time. Try not to worry about things that haven't come to pass. Stay in the moment. Wishing you much success
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Hi Serenidad
Anxiety and a bit of paranoia is very common in early sobriety, like Anna said this is something that you have no control over and what is done is done. Just stay in the moment and don't look back.
Now from a detached third party perspective I think that your fears are probably unfounded and that the most she might say to your boss is that she befriended you and you girls went out a couple of times.
If she is a hard drinker, chances are she does not even remember half of what you don't remember telling her LOL
On top of that, she sounds like she is an alcoholic herself so she probably has a lot of shame going...if she went to babble to your boss about the drinking etc. she would basically out herself as a serious lush. Most of us women really, really don't want people to know the extent of our drinking.
Chances are she is a nice lady and not a gossip. Did she share some awful things with you about your boss or just mentioned that they were friends?
Right there is an indicator of whether or not she might talk.
Anyway, you getting slammed when off the clock is NOT a fireable offense. Stay in the moment, breathe, realize that early sobriety brings in a LOT of anxieties and irrational fears >our brain chemistry changes< but that it will get better as you get more sober time.
Do NOT pick up over that or you will be back to square one and set yourself up for even more self loathing and anxieties.
Hang in there
Anxiety and a bit of paranoia is very common in early sobriety, like Anna said this is something that you have no control over and what is done is done. Just stay in the moment and don't look back.
Now from a detached third party perspective I think that your fears are probably unfounded and that the most she might say to your boss is that she befriended you and you girls went out a couple of times.
If she is a hard drinker, chances are she does not even remember half of what you don't remember telling her LOL
On top of that, she sounds like she is an alcoholic herself so she probably has a lot of shame going...if she went to babble to your boss about the drinking etc. she would basically out herself as a serious lush. Most of us women really, really don't want people to know the extent of our drinking.
Chances are she is a nice lady and not a gossip. Did she share some awful things with you about your boss or just mentioned that they were friends?
Right there is an indicator of whether or not she might talk.
Anyway, you getting slammed when off the clock is NOT a fireable offense. Stay in the moment, breathe, realize that early sobriety brings in a LOT of anxieties and irrational fears >our brain chemistry changes< but that it will get better as you get more sober time.
Do NOT pick up over that or you will be back to square one and set yourself up for even more self loathing and anxieties.
Hang in there
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 181
Hi Serenidad,
I suffer from generalized anxiety and I create all sorts of scenarios in my head about "what ifs". Almost always, reality never turns out to be as bad as my fears. As long as you are sober now and haven't done any damage at your job, it should be fine. It's not against the law for people to go out outside of work, and it seems like all you did with this woman was party hard a couple of times. If that's the worst she could possibly say about you to your boss, that's not so bad. Continue on your path of sobriety and commit to doing better. You can do this.
I suffer from generalized anxiety and I create all sorts of scenarios in my head about "what ifs". Almost always, reality never turns out to be as bad as my fears. As long as you are sober now and haven't done any damage at your job, it should be fine. It's not against the law for people to go out outside of work, and it seems like all you did with this woman was party hard a couple of times. If that's the worst she could possibly say about you to your boss, that's not so bad. Continue on your path of sobriety and commit to doing better. You can do this.
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Wait to Worry
From Attitude is Everything
by Vicki Hitzges
I used to worry. A lot. The more I fretted, the more proficient I became at it. Anxiety begets anxiety. I even worried that I worried too much! Ulcers might develop. My health could fail. My finances could deplete to pay the hospital bills.
A comedian once said, “I tried to drown my worries with gin, but my worries are equipped with flotation devices.” While not a drinker, I certainly could identify! My worries could swim, jump and pole vault!
To get some perspective, I visited a well known, Dallas businessman, Fred Smith. Fred mentored such luminaries as motivational whiz Zig Ziglar, business guru Ken Blanchard and leadership expert John Maxwell. Fred listened as I poured out my concerns and then said, “Vicki, you need to learn to wait to worry.”
As the words sank in, I asked Fred if he ever spent time fretting. (I was quite certain he wouldn’t admit it if he did. He was pretty full of testosterone—even at age 90.) To my surprise, he confessed that in years gone by he had been a top-notch worrier!
“I decided that I would wait to worry!” he explained. “I decided that I’d wait until I actually had a reason to worry—something that was happening, not just something that might happen—before I worried.”
“When I’m tempted to get alarmed,” he confided, “I tell myself, ‘Fred, you’ve got to wait to worry! Until you know differently, don’t worry.’ And I don’t. Waiting to worry helps me develop the habit of not worrying and that helps me not be tempted to worry.”
Fred possessed a quick mind and a gift for gab. As such, he became a captivating public speaker. “I frequently ask audiences what they were worried about this time last year. I get a lot of laughs,” he said, “because most people can’t remember. Then I ask if they have a current worry—you see nods from everybody. Then I remind them that the average worrier is 92% inefficient—only 8% of what we worry about ever comes true.”
Charles Spurgeon said it best. “Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength.”
From Attitude is Everything
by Vicki Hitzges
I used to worry. A lot. The more I fretted, the more proficient I became at it. Anxiety begets anxiety. I even worried that I worried too much! Ulcers might develop. My health could fail. My finances could deplete to pay the hospital bills.
A comedian once said, “I tried to drown my worries with gin, but my worries are equipped with flotation devices.” While not a drinker, I certainly could identify! My worries could swim, jump and pole vault!
To get some perspective, I visited a well known, Dallas businessman, Fred Smith. Fred mentored such luminaries as motivational whiz Zig Ziglar, business guru Ken Blanchard and leadership expert John Maxwell. Fred listened as I poured out my concerns and then said, “Vicki, you need to learn to wait to worry.”
As the words sank in, I asked Fred if he ever spent time fretting. (I was quite certain he wouldn’t admit it if he did. He was pretty full of testosterone—even at age 90.) To my surprise, he confessed that in years gone by he had been a top-notch worrier!
“I decided that I would wait to worry!” he explained. “I decided that I’d wait until I actually had a reason to worry—something that was happening, not just something that might happen—before I worried.”
“When I’m tempted to get alarmed,” he confided, “I tell myself, ‘Fred, you’ve got to wait to worry! Until you know differently, don’t worry.’ And I don’t. Waiting to worry helps me develop the habit of not worrying and that helps me not be tempted to worry.”
Fred possessed a quick mind and a gift for gab. As such, he became a captivating public speaker. “I frequently ask audiences what they were worried about this time last year. I get a lot of laughs,” he said, “because most people can’t remember. Then I ask if they have a current worry—you see nods from everybody. Then I remind them that the average worrier is 92% inefficient—only 8% of what we worry about ever comes true.”
Charles Spurgeon said it best. “Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength.”
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Helllo Serenidad i hope this link helps
3 Anxiety Breathing Techniques You Can Practice Anywhere - Self help for anxiety - @AnxietySlayer
3 Anxiety Breathing Techniques You Can Practice Anywhere - Self help for anxiety - @AnxietySlayer
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
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Originally Posted by try2change
I knew I would sometimes have panic attacks and anxiety after drinking but didn't realize it was made worse because of the alcohol. Happy for you that you have decided to quit. Just take this one day at a time. Try not to worry about things that haven't come to pass. Stay in the moment. Wishing you much success
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by Carlotta
Hi Serenidad Anxiety and a bit of paranoia is very common in early sobriety, like Anna said this is something that you have no control over and what is done is done. Just stay in the moment and don't look back. Now from a detached third party perspective I think that your fears are probably unfounded and that the most she might say to your boss is that she befriended you and you girls went out a couple of times. If she is a hard drinker, chances are she does not even remember half of what you don't remember telling her LOL On top of that, she sounds like she is an alcoholic herself so she probably has a lot of shame going...if she went to babble to your boss about the drinking etc. she would basically out herself as a serious lush. Most of us women really, really don't want people to know the extent of our drinking. Chances are she is a nice lady and not a gossip. Did she share some awful things with you about your boss or just mentioned that they were friends? Right there is an indicator of whether or not she might talk. Anyway, you getting slammed when off the clock is NOT a fireable offense. Stay in the moment, breathe, realize that early sobriety brings in a LOT of anxieties and irrational fears >our brain chemistry changes< but that it will get better as you get more sober time. Do NOT pick up over that or you will be back to square one and set yourself up for even more self loathing and anxieties. Hang in there
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000
Wait to Worry From Attitude is Everything by Vicki Hitzges I used to worry. A lot. The more I fretted, the more proficient I became at it. Anxiety begets anxiety. I even worried that I worried too much! Ulcers might develop. My health could fail. My finances could deplete to pay the hospital bills. A comedian once said, “I tried to drown my worries with gin, but my worries are equipped with flotation devices.” While not a drinker, I certainly could identify! My worries could swim, jump and pole vault! To get some perspective, I visited a well known, Dallas businessman, Fred Smith. Fred mentored such luminaries as motivational whiz Zig Ziglar, business guru Ken Blanchard and leadership expert John Maxwell. Fred listened as I poured out my concerns and then said, “Vicki, you need to learn to wait to worry.” As the words sank in, I asked Fred if he ever spent time fretting. (I was quite certain he wouldn’t admit it if he did. He was pretty full of testosterone—even at age 90.) To my surprise, he confessed that in years gone by he had been a top-notch worrier! “I decided that I would wait to worry!” he explained. “I decided that I’d wait until I actually had a reason to worry—something that was happening, not just something that might happen—before I worried.” “When I’m tempted to get alarmed,” he confided, “I tell myself, ‘Fred, you’ve got to wait to worry! Until you know differently, don’t worry.’ And I don’t. Waiting to worry helps me develop the habit of not worrying and that helps me not be tempted to worry.” Fred possessed a quick mind and a gift for gab. As such, he became a captivating public speaker. “I frequently ask audiences what they were worried about this time last year. I get a lot of laughs,” he said, “because most people can’t remember. Then I ask if they have a current worry—you see nods from everybody. Then I remind them that the average worrier is 92% inefficient—only 8% of what we worry about ever comes true.” Charles Spurgeon said it best. “Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength.”
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
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