Xmas is 80 days away, but the holidays are here
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
As always I keep the perspective that I am a "non drinker", this I needed to ingrain into my mind to ensure that whatever day of the year it is the outlook is the same, whether it's a weekend, a wedding, a birthday, Xmas, New Years, I have now joined the millions of others that celebrate these occasions without alcohol.
Sometimes we don't want to admit, or our minds don't want us to, that without alcohol, people can "enjoy" themselves and have a great time at occasions, but they can, and we can too.
There is then the practical plan and having tools at the ready, plan the day out, what activities to get involved in, what people to meet with, or as the case may be, who not to meet with and what activities to give a miss.
We need to detach the idea of celebration/occasions from alcohol, as always our mind can create fairytales and myths of what an occasion may be like looking at it in the future, but the reality is far from the romanticised sales pitch we're given beforehand.
Sometimes we don't want to admit, or our minds don't want us to, that without alcohol, people can "enjoy" themselves and have a great time at occasions, but they can, and we can too.
There is then the practical plan and having tools at the ready, plan the day out, what activities to get involved in, what people to meet with, or as the case may be, who not to meet with and what activities to give a miss.
We need to detach the idea of celebration/occasions from alcohol, as always our mind can create fairytales and myths of what an occasion may be like looking at it in the future, but the reality is far from the romanticised sales pitch we're given beforehand.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
I got sober in August 1990 going thru
a 28 day rehab stay with a 6 week out
patient aftercare program attached. So
it was close to the holidays when I was
fully sober.
I don't remember Halloween too much
but im sure it was spent with the kids
trick or treating. However, as the fog
began to move further away, I vividly
remember my first sober Thanksgiving.
I learned to cook BIG for my little family
and was excited about it. But, for the most
part, after going to my daily AA meetings
and hearing what I needed to remain sober,
I remembered MUSIC.
Ive always loved listening to music but
for some glorious reason, listening to
it during Thanksgiving was beyond words.
It just seemed so magical.
That was some 24 yrs ago as we inch
towards another yr of holidays. For me,
it will be a quiet, relaxing, enjoying the
seasons changing, cooler weather and
staying away from crowded stores, traffic
and all the hullabaloo.
Keepin' It Simple and Sober..!!!!
a 28 day rehab stay with a 6 week out
patient aftercare program attached. So
it was close to the holidays when I was
fully sober.
I don't remember Halloween too much
but im sure it was spent with the kids
trick or treating. However, as the fog
began to move further away, I vividly
remember my first sober Thanksgiving.
I learned to cook BIG for my little family
and was excited about it. But, for the most
part, after going to my daily AA meetings
and hearing what I needed to remain sober,
I remembered MUSIC.
Ive always loved listening to music but
for some glorious reason, listening to
it during Thanksgiving was beyond words.
It just seemed so magical.
That was some 24 yrs ago as we inch
towards another yr of holidays. For me,
it will be a quiet, relaxing, enjoying the
seasons changing, cooler weather and
staying away from crowded stores, traffic
and all the hullabaloo.
Keepin' It Simple and Sober..!!!!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
ArtFriend, I'm glad you posted about this. (Dee started a thread a couple years ago about coping with holidays - I'm sure he will again.) Stick close to SR - we will see you through.
I understand your concern. I couldn't imagine sober holidays when I first quit. I only remembered the good times, not the times that I was numb and foggy. Too many of my holidays were just a blur, and therefore meaningless. You're learning to live in a whole new way - I think you'll enjoy your sober holiday season once you adjust.
I understand your concern. I couldn't imagine sober holidays when I first quit. I only remembered the good times, not the times that I was numb and foggy. Too many of my holidays were just a blur, and therefore meaningless. You're learning to live in a whole new way - I think you'll enjoy your sober holiday season once you adjust.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire, UK
Posts: 712
Originally Posted by aasharon90 
I got sober in August 1990 going thru
a 28 day rehab stay with a 6 week out
patient aftercare program attached. So
it was close to the holidays when I was
fully sober.
I don't remember Halloween too much
but im sure it was spent with the kids
trick or treating. However, as the fog
began to move further away, I vividly
remember my first sober Thanksgiving.
I learned to cook BIG for my little family
and was excited about it. But, for the most
part, after going to my daily AA meetings
and hearing what I needed to remain sober,
I remembered MUSIC.
Ive always loved listening to music but
for some glorious reason, listening to
it during Thanksgiving was beyond words.
It just seemed so magical.
That was some 24 yrs ago as we inch
towards another yr of holidays. For me,
it will be a quiet, relaxing, enjoying the
seasons changing, cooler weather and
staying away from crowded stores, traffic
and all the hullabaloo.
Keepin' It Simple and Sober..!!!!
a 28 day rehab stay with a 6 week out
patient aftercare program attached. So
it was close to the holidays when I was
fully sober.
I don't remember Halloween too much
but im sure it was spent with the kids
trick or treating. However, as the fog
began to move further away, I vividly
remember my first sober Thanksgiving.
I learned to cook BIG for my little family
and was excited about it. But, for the most
part, after going to my daily AA meetings
and hearing what I needed to remain sober,
I remembered MUSIC.
Ive always loved listening to music but
for some glorious reason, listening to
it during Thanksgiving was beyond words.
It just seemed so magical.
That was some 24 yrs ago as we inch
towards another yr of holidays. For me,
it will be a quiet, relaxing, enjoying the
seasons changing, cooler weather and
staying away from crowded stores, traffic
and all the hullabaloo.
Keepin' It Simple and Sober..!!!!
inspirational words! -thank you x
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
My first sober christmas as an adult was last year i was 5 & 1/2 months sober i got through it so can you
Its been feeling like christmas all weekend for some reason like xmas eve & xmas day funny you mentioned that
Its been feeling like christmas all weekend for some reason like xmas eve & xmas day funny you mentioned that
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I have spent the last 3 Christmases alone. My family are big drinkers and I would have to stay with them overnight if I visited. Holidays by yourself is lonely, but as an alcoholic, single man, it's my best option. I actually like it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Deep South, US
Posts: 62
I'm glad that someone posted this because I was getting a little worried too!! I just keep with the mindset of "one day at a time" and that I can still have fun without the alcohol. Also, I know for sure that I will be the designated driver, so, we won't have to worry about who's in better shape to drive home, me or my husband. If it's a party where the kids come along, I don't have to be angry the whole time b/c my husband "gets" to drink and I can't b/c I have to drive (he is also a functioning alcoholic). Whew! I'm so glad that I don't have to drink anymore.
.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 611
xmas will just be another day....I'm going to set myself up as designated driver just as a safe guard.
I'm trying to change my thought process from not being able to drink to more accepting feelings of being happy to not drink. It's tough at the moment in early sobriety but I've already faced a couple of drinking situations, friends drinking with a meal out etc, xmas will just be another day we are faced with alcohol and for each such instance we come through I like to think it builds our sober wall that little bit higher.
I'm trying to change my thought process from not being able to drink to more accepting feelings of being happy to not drink. It's tough at the moment in early sobriety but I've already faced a couple of drinking situations, friends drinking with a meal out etc, xmas will just be another day we are faced with alcohol and for each such instance we come through I like to think it builds our sober wall that little bit higher.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Last xmas I was at a family gathering. A few hours of everyone drinking beer and wine and passing around shots of boilo. I wasn't even tempted. It was only a week earlier that I lost my job to drinking and quit that day. It was still new to me but I knew that drinking was not a good idea for me. My desire to not drink was stronger than my desire to drink. My brother asked me if I was okay to drive at the end of the night (he's blind). I said I only drank coffee and water. He was surprised. Really surprised.
You don't have to if you don't want to.
You don't have to if you don't want to.
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