Sunsetred

So got to day 6, then boom! Decided I'd have a drink, drank Friday night and last night! I'm so confused about my drinking habits though! I drink a lot but not particularly because I want to be steaming drunk because I don't like it when I'm staggering or feeling out of control but I just can't seem to leave beers in the fridge! If it's there I will drink it cos it's as though it's calling my name! I feel like I shouldn't be posting this because the recurrent cycle of day 5-6 then drinking again is happening all too often! I seriously don't know what to do anymore I have zero faith that I'm ever going to be able to control myself

Anna

Why are you confused about your drinking habits?

Alcoholics cannot control their drinking.

As to what to do - get rid of the alcohol in the house, don't buy anymore. Have a plan in place for when you crave alcohol, so that you can do something different next time.

PurpleKnight

This is exactly the place to be posting, to get some support and not isolate yourself away, because when I used to do that, it would lead to more drinking!!

What are you doing other than relying on sheer willpower? It only got me so far, and then like you after 5/6 days my mind, which was addicted to alcohol, alone with my own thoughts would convince me to drink.

I therefore needed something outside of myself for a second opinion on things or to lean on for some support!!

The same plan will lead to the same results, something needs to change in your plan, more support, meetings, more attendance on SR, whatever it is, something different and a few more tools in the toolbox to achieve different results!!

You can do this!!

FreeOwl

this is exactly the right place to be posting this.

everyone here understands what you've just articulated.

sounds to me like alcohol is sinking its creepy hooks into you deeper than you want it to and you're standing there watching it with a baffled curiosity like so many of us have done time and again.....

do you want to stop drinking?

Sunsetred

I do want to stop drinking more than anything because I know how much better I feel at day 5 so I can only imagine what the long term benefits would feel like. However I can't seem to come to terms with the fact I have to stop forever! I can't just enjoy a drink with my husband anymore, or get a bit tipsy with friends and have a laugh. I have no support network in place other than SR, I can't tell my husband I'm totally embarrassed although I'm sure he already knows as he says things to try and stop my bingeing! I also don't want to use AA as I'm a young woman and am scared there won't be any other people there like me! I just don't know what to do

MariahGayle

Glad you are posting here Sunsetred......I'm sure that you would find many in AA, whether young or old have ALL have a desire to live free from the alcohol. I know in my area there are AA meetings specifically for the young crowd. I would find it hard in early sobriety to not drink if there was alcohol at hand.....talking to your husband about your desire to quit drinking might be a good idea. I've found from others experience that taking it a day at a time, rather than looking at it as forever, is really the way to go.

sugarbear1

Need Help?
(403) 777-1212 ( 24/7 )

Call and ask about Young People in AA meetings

PurpleKnight

All those fears and that embarrassment needs to be put to the side, I did a serious amount of embarrassing things drunk, and so telling a few people that I was now a non drinker I assure you has lower costs than continuing to drink.

The important thing is to do something, your husband needs to know he is now married to someone who doesn't drink, not only because that's what couples do, but also that he is aware of what you're trying to achieve to make things easier.

As with AA, like SR I'd imagine some meetings will indeed have younger people, everyone here on SR is far from retired, we've got 20s, 30s and beyond, a whole range of people, alcohol doesn't discriminate across age.

But more importantly you have to do what it takes to make Sobriety happen!!

Soberwolf

You can do this sunsetred.....

What do you think you could do to change this ?

anattaboy

5 days is great! Let's go for 6 next time? Or stop counting at 4 and start over? You can do it. Don't give up.

FreeOwl

there are a lot of young women in AA.... it's worth a look in your area to see if there are any groups that you might feel comfortable with. It is very powerful to have some real human contact with a community of understanding people who share and understand your struggle.

You can change this cycle.

soberbythesea

I'm glad you did post and ask for help! It sounds like you are stuck and just not sure what the next step is to change things. We've all been there.

I'm not generally an AA person myself, but one thing I do know is that there are plenty of young people in AA, and they can be a very supportive group of people.

Otherwise, think about what you need to change in your routine. What would help you? I would also consider talking to your husband. If you don't tell him you're trying to quit entirely, it's going to be very hard to do.

Sunsetred

I'm not sure how to change the cycle. I start drinking through boredom! My husband works out of town for long shifts and me and my daughter are here alone must of the time. We emigrated to a different country and so I have no real friends or contacts here. I know a few people but not people I would just call in on to have a chat. So I find myself drinking alone most weekends. During the week we have things to distract me e.g. My daughters after school activities, are we go to the library, or just have a drive out for coffee on an evening, but when Friday comes and I'm tired from working I don't want to do anything and so end up sat in front of the tv drinking!! I don't have any childcare so I can't do anything alone, so even the AA meetings could be a problem if I was to consider it.

ArtFriend

I know what you mean. Maybe don't think of it as forever, rather take it one day at a time? Forever is way too much for anyone to contemplate.

Bailey3

Next time you feel like drinking try getting on sr instead.. Read and post. Someone will be here to help if you need it. I know the next time the overwhelming urge to drink comes over me that's what I'm going to do.

2muchpain

My pattern was to drink for 4 days, than not drink for 4 or 5 days, than start over. Most of those days I didn't drink, I was getting over all the drinking I did for the 4 days, shaky, irritable, etc. By day 5, I'd start feeling better, so would drink again. Crazy way to live. Those 4 days of drinking eventually turned into 5, than 6 until I was eventually in and out of blackouts for two weeks or more. Needed help to get out of this rut. With a little luck, a lot of support and determination, I'm doing much better, so, it can be done.
Sounds like you have a caring husband who is willing to support you. You might also want to reconsider AA. Lots of people of all ages there. Might want to look into other types of support groups in your are that work on other issues besides drinking. You might be drinking for reasons you are unaware of. Good luck. John

2muchpain

Forgot to mention that I see people at meetings that bring their kids. Most people seem to understand that some parents have no choice but to bring their kids. John

airwick

Don't have the alcohol available

RK2007

I've got faith that you've already taken some control! Anybody who comes here, wants to be here - that gives them a chance of changing.

bunnezjp

Can you just not have beer in your fridge?

That was my problem, too. If its there, I'll drink it. Kinda like Skittles...don't leave 'em lying around

Bunnez