HenryKrinkle

I probably could have written this. We sound a lot alike, other than the whole gender thing.

No recovery program works for everyone, and luckily there are many different approaches to recovery to choose from. I used Rational Recovery/AVRT and it helped me a lot. I chose it because it made the most sense to me, it was something I could buy in to, and I felt I could succeed with it. And I did. Maybe it could help you too.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

dwtbd

I don't say this to guilt or unduly scare you , but you mention you are the only adult in the house with the kids. When I drank I was of no use to anyone at night, like no use.

The idea of forever is a tough one, but you only dont have to drink in the 'now', whenever that is . I plan on adding up all my nows and having a forever at the end

Notmyrealname

If your life seems to get worse when you drink, why have anxiety about not doing it anymore?

I am being rhetorical, not literal. And I know the answer -- it's fear; fear of missing out.

After awhile I saw that I was missing out on a lot of stuff because of my drinking, and I had done enough drinking for two people by then, frankly. I had to quit in part because I was afraid of missing out on any more of life by being drunk or hung over through more that half of my waking hours.

It all depends on how you see things, I guess.

Sunsetred

I've just been looking into IOP but it's $4000 plus $400 for initial consultation, so that's not an option. I'm going to phone about groups in my area

2muchpain

Did you know that there is a Smart Recovery group in your area, along with AA meetings?

Dee74

There's some great ideas here sunsetred.

I the end I had to accept I could live the peaceful not chaotic life I wanted, and be the person I wanted to be...or I could drink.

But not both.

It took a lot for me to turn my back on alcohol. Noone expects you to be instantly ok with that decision....

but I think it's fair to ask ourselves to give 'not drinking' the sort of effort we put into 'drinking' all those years.

Give it all you have. Think about some of the suggestions here. Maybe think about letting your husband know what you're trying to do, too?...secrets can make this harder.

You can do this. You're not alone here

D

Sunsetred

I have just emailed Smart Recovery, I'm hoping to go to one of the meetings tomorrow evening. Thanks for your messages, I really appreciate the support

RK2007

Good luck! Stay strong, you can do it.

scintillady

I know a lot of people are against using medications in order to quit drinking because they think they shouldn't have to use a "crutch". I felt that way at first but I discovered along the way that the only way I can stay sober is to take antabuse. I take it once a day for a week or so, and then I only have to take it every other day. I have had no side effects other than the inability to drink even if I want to. It has been a lifesaver for me as it takes the whole "will I or won't I drink" totally out of the equation. If you want to drink again you have to be off it for 14 days first, and by that time you can talk yourself out of it, usually.

shirlygirly

What you're describing is the physical craving and the mental obsession. Those are the two main symptoms of alcoholism. So... there's not much to be confused about.

I was never a daily drinker, so I denied for years that I was an alcoholic. Your cycle of not drinking for five days, drinking one or two days, then taking five or so days off again... well that was me 100%. What sold me on being an alcoholic was the realization that I was obsessing over alcohol even when it wasn't it my system. Planning to not drink for a period of time or worrying about how much you are going to drink or already drank? Well that's just not something that normal drinkers do.

I'm a young woman (if you consider 30 young), and an active AA member. The meetings I attend are filled with plenty of young women just like me, and I've made some incredible friends who have helped me get where I am today.

Feel free to PM me and I can share more of my own experience in AA with you.

You can do this!

Dee74

Feel free to share your experience in public too ShirlyGirly

D