Bamawife

Hello! I am a new member. I have an AH who is currently on day 6 of medical detox. He will go in to another inpatient facility for 30 days or longer in about 4 days. For years I tried to cope with him being an alcoholic. I even went to al anon meetings. Over a year ago, I was promoted in my profession and could no longer get to the meetings. Fast forward to last weekend....I went to work and knew that he was drinking heavily by the time I left (around 7:15am). When I got home he was extremely drunk. Within a couple of hours of me arriving home, he became verbally and physically abusive. I left our home and went to my mother's. He passed out and called the next morning wanting to know if I was coming home. I told him I would come home to "talk". Well, that didn't work out too well and he thought he would hurt me again. I told him I was leaving and that if he came near me I would call the police. **I had said this numerous times before and never did it.** About an hour later, thinking that I would not follow through with what I said, he showed up at my mom's. I called the police the minute I saw him driving up in the driveway. He was shocked that I actually did it this time. I won't lie, I even surprised myself!! Anyway, because he had been drinking, the police would not let him drive home so he was loaded into the back seat of a patrol car and taken home. He was told not to come near me again. Thinking that I would probably get over him being drunk, he called me over and over. I kept telling him that I was not coming home. After 2 days of him getting the same answer from me, he decided to seek treatment. I have had no contact with him until today. They allowed him to call me briefly but they asked me if I was ok talking to him first. I replied that it was "ok". I was not thrilled or happy to talk to him. He got on the phone and asked if I needed any money because he has his debit card, etc...with him. I told him I was fine on my own. Then he asked me if I would bring him some shaving cream and a razor. My reply was no. I think that surprised him as well. Needless to say, our conversation lasted about 2 minutes. The counselor that called me for him got back on the phone and said that he would see that he got shaving cream, etc...I told him thank you because I am just not up to seeing him yet.

Now, I have wanted him to seek real treatment for a long time. I am happy that he is in treatment. BUT.......I am scared to death of what things will be like when he comes out of treatment. I want to be supportive but how will I know that he is truly accepting responsibility for his actions? He has done a tremendous amount of emotional damage to me and our two 20'something kids. My dad died less than a month ago and I am still trying to deal with that. I feel totally overwhelmed.

Thanks for letting me share even though it may appear I just rambled.


-M

Bamawife

I accidentally posted this thread in the wrong place. I am sorry!!

Hevyn

Welcome Bamawife! We're very glad to have you here.

You didn't post in the wrong place - either forum is fine. Friends & Family is better for your situation - many there will be able to relate. You definitely didn't ramble - it's clear what you're going through, & I'm sorry you've had all that to deal with. Hopefully it'll help to be here with us. Good to meet you.

PurpleKnight

Either place is fine, welcome to the Forum!!