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Got it in my mind to drink...

Old 10-04-2014, 05:09 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Sorry -- Amnesiac, -- I didn't see your posts above about social anxiety around extended family, change of seasons, etc.

I hope you can get through the wedding without getting drunk, and that you can relax enough to have a lovely time reconnecting with the members of your family that you feel good around.
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Old 10-04-2014, 05:13 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Please check in to let us know how you are doing. Remember that you are not alone. All of SR is with you.
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Old 10-04-2014, 06:03 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by YuriO View Post
I'm in a similar mood this weekend, amnesiac. Today is 67 or 68, I'm not exactly sure, and yesterday I had the most persistent persuasive cravings that I've had since I quit. I don't know if it's the fall weather, or what it is, but today has been difficult too.

I feel great, I look good, and my life is going much better than when I was drinking, so I've been telling myself. I've been likening this discomfort to growing pains. When I get past this, I'll be entering an even better and easier phase. Like you, though, I'm a little surprised to meet such a big challenge over two months into recovery.
I am just over 2 months and today had my first real desire to drink. I also think it's the fall and an enjoyable Saturday and some reminders of how I love the fall and used to love to start drinking early on a Saturday afternoon.

Tonight I feel empty. No need for me to be feeling empty but I think I'm just beginning to understand the reality of living a normal life and some very mundane times that are actually healthy down times and opportunities for relaxing. In my drinking life I never allowed it...I would drink to spice things up. A slow paced, restorative weekend is something I now need to perceive differently and not as mundane but as how a balanced life actually is.

The memory of horrible withdrawals, hangovers and general exhaustion I felt from drinking is fading as time passes. They had served as a useful tool .... created an aversion to drinking. Now comes the real challenge to continue a commitment to not drink just because it's the way it's going to have to be from here on in.

All the best in the days ahead!
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Old 10-06-2014, 02:59 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Made it through the weekend. The cravings were most intense on Saturday, but after I made it past 2am, last call for buying beer, Saturday, Sunday was easier.

10 weeks is a nice milestone. Counting the weeks or days has been helpful. When I get it in my mind to drink, I can ask myself whether it is better to have 70 days or Zero days. That sort of comparison puts the desire to drink out in the open light, because the part of me that argues for zero days, is easier to dismiss.

I may not be living life to the fullest, and setting lofty daily goals and accomplishing everything that I dream of, but I'm in a much better position than I would have been coming off a binge.
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