Facebook: yay or nay?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Sheffield U.K
Posts: 204
IMO a definite Nay! You can do so many more productive things with your time. Also it's pointlessly voyeuristic and encourages less than healthy obsessions in the lives of others. There is also the issue of people you half know finding things out you may not want them to know, or having an unwarranted and unnoticed influence on you. I can do without having the opinions and outlooks of that many people crammed into my consciousness, nevermind the ads following you around.
It's only my opinion, but I also think it's generally bad for your concentration and peace of mind.
Someone on here once said, that in recovery it helps if you 'keep your life small'. I think that is really good advice.
It's only my opinion, but I also think it's generally bad for your concentration and peace of mind.
Someone on here once said, that in recovery it helps if you 'keep your life small'. I think that is really good advice.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
I don't pay much attention to the fakey-happy-my-life-is-perfect posts....because alot of people won't post the bad s**t in their lives, anyway. I've posted pics of my ongoing recovery progress from liver failure and vague references to recovery itself. I only have 60 or so friends, and they are close...I don't friend people for the sake of having thousands of people look at my page. Also like posting my nature pics and pics of my bunnies 
.
Bunnez
.Bunnez
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: NYC
Posts: 301
I still look at mine a few times a week. The first few weeks of sobriety I abstained. Most people aren't as active on FB these days, especially the under 40 crowd. It's all about the "gram". Lol. How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram... sorry for the bad joke, I couldn't resist especially being a few hoods away from the hipster capital.
About an Instagram... sorry for the bad joke, I couldn't resist especially being a few hoods away from the hipster capital.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 80
Sometimes I see people drinking on fb and get jealous. But then I imagine if I were hanging out with them drinking. Sure, the first 2 hours would be fun. But then I would black out, do and say dumb ****, wake up feeling hungover and remorseful. Play the tape the whole way through, and I realize I am in a much better place now., and it's only been 2 months
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Sarasota, FL
Posts: 223
I'm so glad you started this thread because I have been thinking the same thing. I'm just so over the "I'm so amazingly happy pics". I've been feeling guilty about it. But it's nice to know I'm not the only one who is early in recovery who just can't stomache it.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
I like it, I know a lot of people have a negative opinion about it but I use it as a photo repository (where else can you store that many photos for free?) and a way to read recovery items, look at memes and cats, talk to my friends, etc. If I see someone is negative, I turn their feed off, I turn off the news, etc. I love it.
Guest
Posts: n/a
I despise facebook. I "broke up" with my "Faceboo" in spring of 2010 and have never desired to go back. Oh FB how I hate thee, let me count the ways:
1. Mafia Wars, Farmville, Jewel Heist, etc
2. Stalkers
3. Political rants, usually with very little punctuation or line breaks
4. Idiots who were awful to me in high school tracking me down and trying to friend me
5. Parents complaining about how much their kids annoy them
6. Pictures of angels, kittens, horses & sparkly rainbows
7. People endlessly shilling their business or side project
8. Religious arguments
9. The tendency that people now have to send updates to their collection of "friends" (i.e. their possessions), instead of actually picking up the phone and calling/texting/emailing somebody individually. If someone wants to talk to me, they can talk to ME, not me as a part of some mass of sycophants
10. The creepiness of Mark Zuckerberg, and his elitist dream of bringing indentured servants to the U.S. as tech workers, instead of hiring American citizens. Yep I said it.
Maybe in later posts I'll tell you how I REALLY feel!
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
1. Mafia Wars, Farmville, Jewel Heist, etc
2. Stalkers
3. Political rants, usually with very little punctuation or line breaks
4. Idiots who were awful to me in high school tracking me down and trying to friend me
5. Parents complaining about how much their kids annoy them
6. Pictures of angels, kittens, horses & sparkly rainbows
7. People endlessly shilling their business or side project
8. Religious arguments
9. The tendency that people now have to send updates to their collection of "friends" (i.e. their possessions), instead of actually picking up the phone and calling/texting/emailing somebody individually. If someone wants to talk to me, they can talk to ME, not me as a part of some mass of sycophants
10. The creepiness of Mark Zuckerberg, and his elitist dream of bringing indentured servants to the U.S. as tech workers, instead of hiring American citizens. Yep I said it.
Maybe in later posts I'll tell you how I REALLY feel!
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Nay nay nay! I've never had one. Want to live in the now. I'm never on the computer unless it is for work, videos or this... I want to live in the real life, every moment. FB is fake. Nobody post all of their real life. I will say that it is cool to look at pictures, but that's about it. My mom has one and she has over 1000 friends. She's on it all the time.
It is pretty much a gossip center in my opinion.
It is pretty much a gossip center in my opinion.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 315
Facebook is a fad and a waste of time. Time that could be spent with actual "friends" you may have left that are awake enough to delete or never have had a facebook acct.
We can know everything about everyone and really not KNOW them with any depth?
No thanks
Plus when you click" I agree" at the site, If anyone actually read what they are giving up privacy wise, FB would vanish for lack of users in a week.
We can know everything about everyone and really not KNOW them with any depth?
No thanks
Plus when you click" I agree" at the site, If anyone actually read what they are giving up privacy wise, FB would vanish for lack of users in a week.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire, UK
Posts: 712
Originally Posted by nuffsEnuff 
I have been wondering the same thing. I am keeping my account. However I have pretty much replaced this site with Fbook. I find that I get depressed with how I have wasted the past 7 years of my life and am jealous of what other have ie wife kids great job etc... but i realize i have to keep in mind that very few people will post that there lives arent going as well as they would hope. I know there are more friends on fbook that are like me, but we wont advertise that. So right now, i would rather keep with a community of people I can relate to like here on SR
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Pros
- It's been a great way to reconnect with friends, especially from high school and college, and former co-workers with whom I've lost touch or who had turned into Christmas card friends -- especially those that live far away. It's nice to see what is happening in their lives. Without FB, I wouldn't have the connection with friends and family overseas that it provides.
- I guess I'm lucky ... no "look at how fabulous my life is" bragging people in my world. In general, if someone posts vacation or family pics, I genuinely enjoy them and am happy for them. They seem to like it when I occasionally do the same.
- There have been instances when FB has provided meaningful support. The kind messages I received after my father's death were particularly welcome and gave me great comfort. In turn, it's given me a way to express support to those in times of loss and sorrow that I might not have had otherwise. Just happened today, in fact.
- I like it when a friend recommends a book or movie. A lot of it is just plain fun; some of my friends are hysterically funny.
- From a recovery perspective: When I see pictures of a relative at a wine-tasting or friends enjoying a beer with others around a campfire, it's a reminder that most people can enjoy these things, but I cannot. In some ways, I find that helpful and a part of the maturing process we undergo when we get sober. I'm in control of what I share. Very, very few people know I had a drinking problem and I intend to keep it that way. FB is the last place I would discuss it.
Cons
- Sometimes you find out you don't like the people with whom you reconnect. It took one day to find out a friend from h.s. who friended me has turned into a bigot whose political views I don't share. I unfriended him the same day.
- Some of it is just plain dull. I don't understand why people feel the need to post everything they do, eat or think. (I've also found it helpful to hide these people.)
- From time to time, I am saddened to see that some folks have so little in their lives aside from sharing the results of the latest quiz they've taken.
- From a recovery perspective: It has been a sad reminder that a close friend has a lot happening in her life that involves alcohol and other friends, but not me so much. A lot of our time together used to include wine. A lot of it.
- It's been a great way to reconnect with friends, especially from high school and college, and former co-workers with whom I've lost touch or who had turned into Christmas card friends -- especially those that live far away. It's nice to see what is happening in their lives. Without FB, I wouldn't have the connection with friends and family overseas that it provides.
- I guess I'm lucky ... no "look at how fabulous my life is" bragging people in my world. In general, if someone posts vacation or family pics, I genuinely enjoy them and am happy for them. They seem to like it when I occasionally do the same.
- There have been instances when FB has provided meaningful support. The kind messages I received after my father's death were particularly welcome and gave me great comfort. In turn, it's given me a way to express support to those in times of loss and sorrow that I might not have had otherwise. Just happened today, in fact.
- I like it when a friend recommends a book or movie. A lot of it is just plain fun; some of my friends are hysterically funny.
- From a recovery perspective: When I see pictures of a relative at a wine-tasting or friends enjoying a beer with others around a campfire, it's a reminder that most people can enjoy these things, but I cannot. In some ways, I find that helpful and a part of the maturing process we undergo when we get sober. I'm in control of what I share. Very, very few people know I had a drinking problem and I intend to keep it that way. FB is the last place I would discuss it.
Cons
- Sometimes you find out you don't like the people with whom you reconnect. It took one day to find out a friend from h.s. who friended me has turned into a bigot whose political views I don't share. I unfriended him the same day.
- Some of it is just plain dull. I don't understand why people feel the need to post everything they do, eat or think. (I've also found it helpful to hide these people.)
- From time to time, I am saddened to see that some folks have so little in their lives aside from sharing the results of the latest quiz they've taken.
- From a recovery perspective: It has been a sad reminder that a close friend has a lot happening in her life that involves alcohol and other friends, but not me so much. A lot of our time together used to include wine. A lot of it.
One day at a time
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 111
Nay I feel so much worse about myself and compare myself to everyone that I think is doing better than me or is more perfect than me its crap I even moved to another state and getting back on shows me all the People I don't want to see anyways no get rid of it and see if you feel
Better the only reason I am on it and I'm about to delete it again is to talk to my relatives
Better the only reason I am on it and I'm about to delete it again is to talk to my relatives
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
My facebook account has nothing to do with my sobriety.
My sobriety involves me not drinking -- that means I don't take booze, in hand, and put it to lips, and glug glug glug.
Facebook doesn't control my hand or my lips or my glug glug glug. Facebook is just a website. It is not an alcoholic beverage plus a hand.
My sobriety involves me not drinking -- that means I don't take booze, in hand, and put it to lips, and glug glug glug.
Facebook doesn't control my hand or my lips or my glug glug glug. Facebook is just a website. It is not an alcoholic beverage plus a hand.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Sydney NSW
Posts: 350
I've noticed I use it a lot less since I quit drinking. I just check in there to check my messages now. I do use it to keep in touch with people, especially those overseas. A lot of crap in the newsfeed just annoys me, more so these days...I feel like I'm being lectured to. You know, opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one...
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
I stayed away for a while when I first quit. I never realized just how many friends I had whose sum total of weekend fun was how many pictures they could post of a glass of alcohol sitting on a bar. Or them holding some vessel of alcohol. Or them with a group of people all holding alcohol. I realized that seeing it wasn't helping me and just making me angry and resentful.
Now I scroll through and when I see it I just shake my head.
Now I scroll through and when I see it I just shake my head.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
I started using it in 2008 I think to keep up with family who are scattered all over the country. It was fun and novel at first... but then it seemed to devolve into the crap it is today. Seeing snap shots of people's lives in a vacuum with no context. Ugh.
And I also have issues with their privacy policies. Remember awhile back they colluded with some university to do a social experiment where their data scientists skewed the positive or negative emotional content that appeared in the news feeds of nearly 700,000 users over the course of a week in order to study their reaction. FB claims it is legal and spelled out in their terms of service (buried in there). But it was unethical as hell. There is something called informed consent. When doing any kind of study or research, you must inform your participants of what you are doing. FB didn't inform anyone.
They also collect tons of data from people's posts and all the "likes" they provide. Then use this data for marketing. It is scary to think of just how much information they have on people.
And I also have issues with their privacy policies. Remember awhile back they colluded with some university to do a social experiment where their data scientists skewed the positive or negative emotional content that appeared in the news feeds of nearly 700,000 users over the course of a week in order to study their reaction. FB claims it is legal and spelled out in their terms of service (buried in there). But it was unethical as hell. There is something called informed consent. When doing any kind of study or research, you must inform your participants of what you are doing. FB didn't inform anyone.
They also collect tons of data from people's posts and all the "likes" they provide. Then use this data for marketing. It is scary to think of just how much information they have on people.
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