Thatdeliveryguy

I am anger, I hate life, damn right I want to get drunk, damn right I rensent the fact I want to get drunk. Hell yes I love the high and drunk life, I am angry, why can't I have that. Sometimes I hat me, I think why can't I get drunk and dumb and just curse life.

You know, but now its gotten real. I've lost my daughter the state took her away, my wife will literally drink herself to death, the final measurment after she got drunk last week was .50 many die at .40 she has been over .40, but she live, lucky women.

Co addicts, the state has decided we aren't good parents, we don't care we are bad parents. I am not going to argue a case here, doesn't matter I know I need to get better and encourage my wife too to.

Hell yes I am angry and bitter, Can you blame me, I am not perfect, but I know my daughter still loves me and wants to be with me. My one saving grace that little girl still loves and wants to be with me, that my friends is this mans motivation

Perfection, I don't think I am going to be perfect, I can't only try for today, and be sober today, I hope to accumulate many of those days.
I want and need to get my daughter back, and that saddens men, but working on today and only today.

Such a difficult proposition, such a crazy place, so much hardship and pain, but worth it! Time for me to kiss the aZZZ of addiction and tell it to screw off and get better for my little disabled girl. I love life, I want my girl and I am going to get better wish me luck and I wish you luck. I know how hard it can be, and I hope you are trying so am I.

Dee74

Many people here have lost their kids to the State and gotten them back Jeremy.

You have the strength and the commitment to last the distance and stay sober- and we have your back

D

ESD907

how old is your daughter? was she removed to a relative?

Soberpotamus

Have you found out when you're going into rehab, Jeremy? I think you said you're on a waiting list, right? I do hope they get you in soon.

Buggirl

Thats so sad, I hope you get the help you, your wife gets better too and you get your daughter back! Thoughts are with you x

MythOfSisyphus

DEE is right, it's usually temporary. Don't give in to despair! Your little girl needs you and you can only be in her life once you get sober. You can do it, now you know how much you need to do it.

MatthewMills197

Good luck mate, have a lot of anger myself its ****

Thatdeliveryguy

Yes, thank you Dee at times I still lose myself. However, I am getting so much better I've woken at 3 Am this morning to try for day labor. If no day labor off to do one of many things to help me get better. I always have a plan, last nigh I posted some about my anger with this whole situation I really have to stop doing that and just accept it for what it is though and move forward. Yesterday truly was a blessing some kind folks paid my rent.

IOAA2

Hi and there is an expression “THIS TOO SHALL PASS.” It can easily with time and keeping the jug plugged. Over a lot of years I’ve witnessed so many good things happen with people who got AND STAYED sober long term.
You don’t like it but your child not seeing what happens as a result of alcoholism is best for them like it or not.
The insanity of alcoholism is the fact that if we don’t drink just about all the posts of difficult times we endure will vaporize. Simple but not always easy, proven by millions who are sober.

BE WELL

SoberLeigh

Hang tough, Jeremy. You have the most important reason in your world to stay sober - your sweet daughter.

What is the latest on rehab?

Rence

If you leave the substances behind, your anger and unhappiness will dissipate. Think of the person you were at the top of your game. Think of a time in your life when you felt your best before alcohol or other substances destroyed you. You CAN be that person again if you work hard for your sobriety. If even in sobriety you still feel angry, depressed or suffer from anxiety, maybe you can see a Dr. to be treated for that too.

You will also find a lot of help and support in AA if you were to devote yourself to the program. It helped me when I stopped fighting the advice that was given to me.

You CAN do this. People used to tell me that and I never believed. I just felt doomed. Right now I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from me and I am enjoying life and family.

Treerat66

Hi TDG,

Go for it!!

JD4010

Great post, TDG!

I've been in a similar place. I was angry all the time, and self-destructive. I got kicked out of the house I'd lived in for 26 years and also my marriage of 30 years. I drank like a fiend, even around my daughter as she was growing up.

I've cooled down now. I still have resentment, but it's far less than it was. And as others have said, you can do it. We are here for you, bro!

sprout50

Jeremy, where are you at treatment wise right now? Are you still on a waiting list for rehab? Does your wife want to get sober? For over a month now, I have watched you really struggle on these boards. You clearly need more than just SR. I know you have been fearful in the past of inpatient rehab but I really think you need that face to face treatment to stay medication compliant and sober.

I am praying for you and your family.

Thatdeliveryguy

I am on the waiting list for free rehab but that going to take time. I am going for remorse to anger a lot, but I am getting better. Doing AA daily and it was nice to vent here but, my recovery is going way beyond here now. I am going to get to a happy place soon I can feel it, just putting in more and more sober time.

Anna

Jeremy, have you checked out the Salvation Army in your area. They offer free rehab to anyone who wants it:

The Salvation Army Family Stores

If you focus on recovery and getting your daughter back, you will get there.

hopeful4

Just because your daughter loves you does not mean the environment was good for her. Her not being there does not take away your love, or hers.

What can you do about it and are you willing to take those steps. Only you can decide. I hope you get help and make the right choices b/c I believe you can beat this.

Thatdeliveryguy

Thank you so much ANNA that information is so valuable to me, I didn't know they did that, gotta call them ASAP once they open.

Thatdeliveryguy

Tomorrow, I go in, and possible in patient. They have " plenty of open spots" wow going to get the help I need. Wow, just like that, one call and got help, thank you again Anna.

sprout50

Very glad to hear this Jeremy!

Just on a side note-the term "on the wagon" actually came from the Salvation Army. They would send a wagon around to pick up anyone on the streets who needed a place to stay-many of whom had problems with alcohol.