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I'm new around here Hi I'm Sansa. I'm new and looking for support. I've tried moderation, I've tried weekends only. I am tired and I've had enough 😥 |
Originally Posted by SansaS
(Post 4927135)
I am tired and I've had enough 😥 |
Well, then, it is time... Power-up & get ready for the adventure! Are you in a safe place? This is a safe place. I am just finishing day 45! sober. I feel good in my body, content in my heart, & am delighted with myself. You can ask all the questions you need to here. Read & read & read, because you'll learn a ton - about how to get through these first weeks, how to build a sober self, & how to create a support plan that fits you... If you decide, there is nothing capable of stopping you! |
Thank you so much for the warm welcome. Where should I start reading? What plans should I put in place? I need as much help as I can get! |
Welcome SansaS Recently, one of the other members here Free Owl did a fairly detailed post on what A plan might be. It might give you, and others, some ideas if I repost it here. I don't think FreeOwl will mind :)
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
(Post 4921950)
you might want to look at herradura's "Where is the PLAN" thread. Here was my perspective that you might find useful. ...generally, for me anyway, THE PLAN includes these components; What will I do instead of drinking - SPECIFICALLY? What will I drink in settings where alcohol is present - Definite and specific alternatives! What will I SAY to people that doesn't make me feel uncomfortable, when offered alcohol or asked about my not drinking? SPECIFIC, REHEARSED responses What resources will I rely on to help me honor my choice of sobriety and remember why I made it? (AA, Big Book Study, Calls to a sponsor or friends in recovery, SR posting and reading, therapy, etc). How often will I do these things? What will be the signs that I need to step it up because my sobriety is being challenged? How - SPECIFICALLY - will I respond? What will I say to my family? How broadly will I discuss my choice of sobriety? Do I need different "levels" of sharing? What specifically will I say for each level? Service work is important - how will I give back in life? Specific actions. What new interests and activities will I focus on? Whether or not I'm "working steps" - what areas of my life need attention (beyond just not drinking) - and what actions will I take?? (e.g. cleaning up debts, making up with people I've hurt, forgiving myself, forgiving others...) What will I do to cultivate my own sense of spirituality, belief or faith in SOMETHING? There are probably lots more areas but the bottom line is that when we say "Have a PLAN" - we mean going through all of these types of questions and issues and getting very clear and specific for ourselves on WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO. Sobriety means action. It means changing our habits and our ways of dealing with and responding to life. It usually means re-wiring ourselves after years and decades of patterns we've formed. Just don't drink - that's only the removal of the toxin and the main 'culprit' that got us here. But once that's set aside, the real work begins. Life just doesn't suddenly get rosy and we're cured and move on in bliss and utopia because we stuck the plug in the jug |
Originally Posted by SansaS
(Post 4927155)
Thank you so much for the warm welcome. Where should I start reading? What plans should I put in place? I need as much help as I can get! One of the biggest "lightbulb moments" I had when I first got sober was realizing there are so many others out there that drank for the same or similar reasons as I did. Because I thought I was alone in why I drank - that no one understood me. That was very comforting for me to know I wasn't alone. So, I would think reading other stories here in the newcomer forum would be beneficial. It was also very beneficial for me to meet and befriend others who were sober early on. Not only were they a source of strength for me, but they provided me with an outlet to share about my struggles and again...realization that I wasn't alone in getting sober. Someone's already posted a number of questions to ask yourself and to answer. Looks like a heckuva good list to me, and would likely be a very good start for you. Best wishes! |
Sansa, I go to AA meetings, & enjoy them a great deal. Many of the folks on here don't, & use other support (or SR as their primary support). The one thing I can share about AA meetings is that each meeting has different people & a different feeling, so try a few before you decide. There will be a schedule for your area online. One of the most important things to figure out is what exactly you'll do if you feel a strong craving to drink. You could log on here (I literally spend hours here some days), go for a run, go to an AA meeting, call a friend, bang on your drum - whatever keeps you focused and able to move past the craving. I take a lot of hot baths too. Many nights, the answer for me is just "go to bed!" The first week is strange, so expect that. People have a whole variety of physical symptoms, from tiredness to serious detox (shakes, can't hold down food, etc.) to extreme. If you have physical symptoms that scare you, go to the ER. It sounds like you've been moderating and controlling for a while though, so your body may be well prepared to quit with minimal physical symptoms. I had none, except for being exhausted and simultaneously unable to fall asleep. I also had incredibly vivid & disturbing dreams. The dreams only lasted for the first two weeks. I'm still adapting to the insomnia, but it's getting better. Check in here often, and get feedback on your feelings & experience. This is one of the most loving crowds I've ever met. Somebody will always have a response that strikes at your center, & you needed to hear... Oh, and drink lots of water. Your body is dehydrated from alcohol abuse. |
The most important part of the plan is "just don't drink" - no matter what happens. |
Hi Sansa, Welcome to SR |
Hello and welcome. I would suggest just reading through particular threads with titles that interest you. Jump right in and respond to posts when you feel a connection or have an idea. DOn't be afraid to offer suggestions, advice or wisdom you might have. Just because you are new doesn't mean you don't have a lifetime of experience similar or different to others that can provide help to others in their time of need. There is also a search function at the top where you can search for keywords or topics that might be on your mind. Best of luck to you! |
Thank you for all the advice. I'm really excited to be a part if this community. I think I'm going to be spending lots of time on here. I was thinking of telling people that I've been having liver problems eg. Fatty liver and that the dr has told me to stop, just to put an end to people enabling/peer pressuring me. Does that sound like a good plan? Or should I just be 100%honest and say that I have developed a problem? |
Oh and I'm already a huge soda water drinker, so I was thinking of having that as my replacement drink. |
Sansa, Welcome to the group! You can tell folks whatever you are comfortable with. In this health conscious world, you can even just say that you are changing your diet/habits to be healthier. You don't have to tell everyone you have a drinking problem if you don't want to. If you want to go the Dr. route, you could just say you are having stomach problems and alcohol irritates it-my Dr says I am developing an ulcer-I need to watch what I drink and eat etc...it's up to you. Glad to have you here! |
Hi. And welcome! |
Welcome, Sandas Lots of great advice on this thread. I've found SR to be awfully supportive and a great motivator and place of hope. I can relate to TerrelB's revelation that he was not the only person who understood his problems. SR showed me i was not the only person who understood me and my "problems". I was in no way unique. This for me disempowered my disease and SR was key to that. Read and share a lot! |
Welcome Sansa! You've gotten a lot of advice already, the most important of which is simply, don't drink. There are many of us who are very new to recovery, myself included. I think you will find a lot of support and understanding here. Good luck! |
Welcome, SansaS; great advice here in true SR fashion; glad you found us. |
Welcome to the Forum Sansa!! :wave: You'll find loads of support and advice here on SR!! Great to have you onboard!! :) |
'Hi I'm Sansa. I'm new and looking for support. I've tried moderation, I've tried weekends only. I am tired and I've had enough' Well done.. I know exactly how you feel, I too have had enough, enough wine to float a battle ship, enough, enough enough. Good luck to you D x |
Just checking in again. This is my 3rd day sober. Not feeling great. Any tips for me? When did the cravings stop for you guys (if ever)?!? |
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