Still day 1 :(
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
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I can relate to your struggle with your husband. Even though it seems like he is supporting you, it sounds like his "support" may be somewhat uneven. For example, if I drink too much and my husband notices (which has happened occasionally) or if he finds alcohol I've been hiding, he is much more inclined to support sobriety. However, if I am obviously stressed or he wants sex (sorry, TMI) he will offer to open some wine. If we are out, he will offer to get me a drink. However, if I told him I do not want to drink AT ALL, he will try to support that.
As alcoholics, we are (or have been) all over the place, right? "I'm quitting, no I'm cutting back, no I'm drinking again," etc. etc. So we can't really expect for other people to track with that. If we are actually, personally, totally committed, they can help us remove temptation, but they can't stop us from drinking if we want to. If I'm determined to drink, believe me, I will.
I'm only on Day 14, so take my "advice" with a grain of salt...but if you're done, you're done. If you're waffling, you're drinking. Believe me, I know how hard it is and I can only hope that I'll make it, but I have no guarantee.
Take care, Mavis! You can do this! We're here for you!
As alcoholics, we are (or have been) all over the place, right? "I'm quitting, no I'm cutting back, no I'm drinking again," etc. etc. So we can't really expect for other people to track with that. If we are actually, personally, totally committed, they can help us remove temptation, but they can't stop us from drinking if we want to. If I'm determined to drink, believe me, I will.
I'm only on Day 14, so take my "advice" with a grain of salt...but if you're done, you're done. If you're waffling, you're drinking. Believe me, I know how hard it is and I can only hope that I'll make it, but I have no guarantee.
Take care, Mavis! You can do this! We're here for you!
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 199
[QUOTE=josharon;4929528]I can relate to your struggle with your husband. Even though it seems like he is supporting you, it sounds like his "support" may be somewhat uneven. For example, if I drink too much and my husband notices (which has happened occasionally) or if he finds alcohol I've been hiding, he is much more inclined to support sobriety. However, if I am obviously stressed or he wants sex (sorry, TMI) he will offer to open some wine. If we are out, he will offer to get me a drink. However, if I told him I do not want to drink AT ALL, he will try to support that.
josharon; I relate to this so much, especially the being stressed and/or him wanting sex. I am working around this with my husband, and worry somewhat that he may not like "me" whomever that may be as I/we have been drinking our entire relationship (12 years). Over your 14 days how has your husband been responding to the sober you?
Mavis, hang in there! Many of us have the same issue!
josharon; I relate to this so much, especially the being stressed and/or him wanting sex. I am working around this with my husband, and worry somewhat that he may not like "me" whomever that may be as I/we have been drinking our entire relationship (12 years). Over your 14 days how has your husband been responding to the sober you?
Mavis, hang in there! Many of us have the same issue!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 349
MavisTheFairy13 hugs to you! 
I broke down and drank on Day 9 too. Not sure why, except that I didn't feel that good (had a cold) and that was my excuse. I felt bad for giving in thinking "Wow, I had all this sober time in already and I blew it."
Drank 2 more times after that.
I am on Day 2 here again and too am thinking it was a "trial run." If I could do it then, I can do it even better now and so can you! I am hoping we can get this the second time. We can. Just one day at a time.
Funny, I too have been craving root beer and have been buying it fairly often. Something in the root beer that helps maybe?
I broke down and drank on Day 9 too. Not sure why, except that I didn't feel that good (had a cold) and that was my excuse. I felt bad for giving in thinking "Wow, I had all this sober time in already and I blew it."
Drank 2 more times after that.
I am on Day 2 here again and too am thinking it was a "trial run." If I could do it then, I can do it even better now and so can you! I am hoping we can get this the second time. We can. Just one day at a time.
Funny, I too have been craving root beer and have been buying it fairly often. Something in the root beer that helps maybe?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 668
Originally Posted by Cecilia44 
MavisTheFairy13 hugs to you!
I broke down and drank on Day 9 too. Not sure why, except that I didn't feel that good (had a cold) and that was my excuse. I felt bad for giving in thinking "Wow, I had all this sober time in already and I blew it."
Drank 2 more times after that.
I am on Day 2 here again and too am thinking it was a "trial run." If I could do it then, I can do it even better now and so can you! I am hoping we can get this the second time. We can. Just one day at a time.
Funny, I too have been craving root beer and have been buying it fairly often. Something in the root beer that helps maybe?
I broke down and drank on Day 9 too. Not sure why, except that I didn't feel that good (had a cold) and that was my excuse. I felt bad for giving in thinking "Wow, I had all this sober time in already and I blew it."
Drank 2 more times after that.
I am on Day 2 here again and too am thinking it was a "trial run." If I could do it then, I can do it even better now and so can you! I am hoping we can get this the second time. We can. Just one day at a time.
Funny, I too have been craving root beer and have been buying it fairly often. Something in the root beer that helps maybe?
I was ill too and feeling fed up and sorry for myself, don't know why I thought wine would make me feel any better. Hmmm the root beer thing is weird! Are you in US? I'm in UK and it's not that easy to get hold of here!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 349
I am in the U.S. here in the Midwestern part of the country. Root beer is easy to get here and I have even taken it one step further and am drinking Sasparilla. (Supposed to be a "stronger" root beer). Its good and whatever works, right?
I have also been dabbling in different types of sodas overall. I am starting to collect the bottles and plan on displaying them on a shelf, just because all of them are so unique. I have tried raspberry and black cherry. A store in town close to me also has "Swamp Pop" (not sure what that is, but going to try it) and also pineapple, orange, strawberry and banana! (I don't know about drinking a banana soda though, somehow banana and carbonation just doesn't sound like a good mix to me).
You know we drink because somehow we think that "fixes" how we feel, whether that be good or bad (usually the bad feelings are what cause me to drink). Somewhere I was reading on this forum today that that is what we really need to learn to deal with, day by day, how to cope with whatever we are feeling and slowly get through it, without the alcohol.
If you can make it 9 and I can make it 9, well, then for sure, we can make it 10.
I have also been dabbling in different types of sodas overall. I am starting to collect the bottles and plan on displaying them on a shelf, just because all of them are so unique. I have tried raspberry and black cherry. A store in town close to me also has "Swamp Pop" (not sure what that is, but going to try it) and also pineapple, orange, strawberry and banana! (I don't know about drinking a banana soda though, somehow banana and carbonation just doesn't sound like a good mix to me).
You know we drink because somehow we think that "fixes" how we feel, whether that be good or bad (usually the bad feelings are what cause me to drink). Somewhere I was reading on this forum today that that is what we really need to learn to deal with, day by day, how to cope with whatever we are feeling and slowly get through it, without the alcohol.
If you can make it 9 and I can make it 9, well, then for sure, we can make it 10.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
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NewFighter, I am the same! I've been with my husband for 16 years (married 12) and I have been drinking the whole time. RE: the sober me, he actually doesn't know I've stopped drinking. I think he would say that I'm irritable and don't want to be around him, which brings me to the bigger question: How do I feel about HIM when I'm sober? I honestly don't know. 
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