30 Days Sober Log
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,323
Focus on today. Not drinking TODAY is your(and my) job for the day.
Only for today. Then you do it again tomorrow...And so on...And so on...
Day 13 for me.
Great work so far! I'm still following this thread with you!
Only for today. Then you do it again tomorrow...And so on...And so on...
Day 13 for me.
Great work so far! I'm still following this thread with you!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 481
Let's do it. Day 19. Relationship is over and I feel overwhelmed with guilt, loss, twangs of regret. I didn't plan for it to finish, but after an open conversation for about an hour it was the natural outcome. Still going to try hang in there for the 30.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 481
Day 21. Anxiety levels are down slightly. I'm more present and performing better at work. It's subtle, but it's there. Energy levels are slightly up. I'm more likely to cook a meal than buy some junk. The health benefits of not drinking really roll into each other.
Sex drive is still slightly down, and my back is aching worse than usual. Annoying but I don't feel hopeless about it.
I watched a French film about alcoholism, one for the road last night. A tad predictable but not bad, pretty realistic.
Sex drive is still slightly down, and my back is aching worse than usual. Annoying but I don't feel hopeless about it.
I watched a French film about alcoholism, one for the road last night. A tad predictable but not bad, pretty realistic.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 481
Day 23. All good again. A few thoughts:
The challenge has lost its spark. I'm not excited about it anymore, which is good and bad. I know it's extremely early days, but I feel like I'm just living now without really thinking about alcohol or abstaining.
I used to drink because I'd feel crap. I'd wake up, have no energy, feel agitated, and want a release from that feeling. I don't think I ever had withdrawals, but I never felt the focus/clarity/motivation to deal with those negative feelings without a drink. And the more I drank, the more negative feelings I had. Which further decreased the likelihood of me dealing with them positively, without drink. Alcohol just felt SO easy and accessible.
I feel more grounded now. Alcohol feels less accessible. If I drink, it will be from something significantly more distressing or challenging than usual. I think the longer I stay sober, the more it will take for this to happen. I'd like to get to the point where virtually nothing breaks my will, but it's a long way away. And wanting something means nothing, you need to take appropriate action to get there. Hopefully that's what I'm doing. That's it, just some rambling today.
The challenge has lost its spark. I'm not excited about it anymore, which is good and bad. I know it's extremely early days, but I feel like I'm just living now without really thinking about alcohol or abstaining.
I used to drink because I'd feel crap. I'd wake up, have no energy, feel agitated, and want a release from that feeling. I don't think I ever had withdrawals, but I never felt the focus/clarity/motivation to deal with those negative feelings without a drink. And the more I drank, the more negative feelings I had. Which further decreased the likelihood of me dealing with them positively, without drink. Alcohol just felt SO easy and accessible.
I feel more grounded now. Alcohol feels less accessible. If I drink, it will be from something significantly more distressing or challenging than usual. I think the longer I stay sober, the more it will take for this to happen. I'd like to get to the point where virtually nothing breaks my will, but it's a long way away. And wanting something means nothing, you need to take appropriate action to get there. Hopefully that's what I'm doing. That's it, just some rambling today.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,323
Originally Posted by Eshgham 
If I drink, it will be from something significantly more distressing or challenging than usual.
I've fallen into traps like that...don't entertain the idea. BANISH IT!
Good work on 23 days. I'm on 19 days. Still with you.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 481
Day 24. Had my first dream about drinking last night since stopping.
Pretty simple - I had a glass of bourbon, & took a few gulps without thinking and then did a few other activities. I went for another when suddenly I remembered that I'd quit. It felt awful, I began thinking of my log and what I was going to say, how I was going to explain it all. I was happy when I woke up! Need to be super vigilant now that I'm approaching the goal. Still trying not to think about it and just going day by day, moment by moment.
Pretty simple - I had a glass of bourbon, & took a few gulps without thinking and then did a few other activities. I went for another when suddenly I remembered that I'd quit. It felt awful, I began thinking of my log and what I was going to say, how I was going to explain it all. I was happy when I woke up! Need to be super vigilant now that I'm approaching the goal. Still trying not to think about it and just going day by day, moment by moment.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 481
Still day 26. Checking in because I'm about to face my first big test. Friend's birthday. Afternoon out in the sun. Everyone drinking. I'm not sure what my game plan is. I'll need something in my hand or I'll feel really uncomfortable. Perhaps I'll get some non alcoholic cider or something. Here's hoping I get to day 27.
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Made it!
It was nice - everyone was extremely friendly. It makes a big difference just hanging out with positive people. Nobody was really drunk & loud, just tipsy. I didn't feel out of place at all.
I ended up taking some non alcoholic beers. I just sipped on one the entire time. Perhaps a slippery slope, but for now it worked.
Something else that helped - I set a time for myself to leave. I decided I would go at 21:30 before leaving, and that's when I left. Knowing there was an "end time" made temptation easier to resist. Just another hour, 30 mins, 15 mins etc. It was all very manageable in the end.
Bring on day 27.
It was nice - everyone was extremely friendly. It makes a big difference just hanging out with positive people. Nobody was really drunk & loud, just tipsy. I didn't feel out of place at all.
I ended up taking some non alcoholic beers. I just sipped on one the entire time. Perhaps a slippery slope, but for now it worked.
Something else that helped - I set a time for myself to leave. I decided I would go at 21:30 before leaving, and that's when I left. Knowing there was an "end time" made temptation easier to resist. Just another hour, 30 mins, 15 mins etc. It was all very manageable in the end.
Bring on day 27.
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