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Old 09-29-2014, 01:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
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For those who are struggling now...


I just wanted to share a memory that popped into my mind very vividly today. This June. I am years into attempted moderation and progressively worse misery. After a few terrible experiences I never drink more than a couple in bars or at events, but always have more to finish the job at home. I get by with my responsibilities, but barely. Some mornings I shake and can't wait to get to the liquor store. I hide empties in my closet and sneak booze in my purse. I binge on weekends and some weekdays. The guilt and shame and self-loathing are unbearable, and I keep chugging the bottle to shush them for just a bit, only to wake up a few hours later to worse misery. I am looking at every face on TV and in real life with jealousy - they don't have the alcoholic puffiness, their eyes are clear, they are not suffering from this misery. How can people just LIVE and not be haunted. How can they be interested in anything. It is unfathomable to me at this point. It seems hopeless.

I just want to share with you that it isn't. From me to you - there is hope. You can be that person with clear eyes and interest for life. Stop drinking for good and start reclaiming your life back. I am three month into recovery, finding joys and dealing with disappointments. If I could do it and rise from that pit of misery, you can do it too. Stop now.

P.S. F U, alcoholism! Whatever happens to me now, I will not let you get me to that point ever again. I may have miserable days, I may suffer losses, but you will not control me again. I know your voice now, and you can shove it.
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Old 09-29-2014, 02:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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thank you. That is just what I needed to hear today. I want my healthy "clear" life back. No amount of boredom or discontentment when I'm healthy is worth going back to where I am right now. Life is so amazing when I am not drinking. then I always go back with "just one" and end up in the same place. thank you.
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Old 09-29-2014, 02:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Take the purse out of your post and your story is my story. Thanks for sharing!
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Old 09-29-2014, 02:57 PM   #4 (permalink)
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You can be that person with clear eyes and interest for life.
Thank you so much!
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:03 PM   #5 (permalink)
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NICE!!!

Thank you.
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~ Life!! It's WAY too good to drink to! ~
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Great stuff!
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02/10/2014- the day I chose to live!
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:13 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Thanks for that amazing post!
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:29 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
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((Melki))

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Old 09-29-2014, 03:42 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Great stuff!

At 113 days and counting myself.....

please share what worked for you,

How'd you do it thus far??

peace
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Old 09-29-2014, 04:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
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powerful.
Thank you
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Old 09-29-2014, 05:05 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I know your voice now, and you can shove it.
Awesome!
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Old 09-29-2014, 09:23 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Great stuff!

At 113 days and counting myself.....

please share what worked for you,

How'd you do it thus far??

peace
Oh, I forgot the most important part! I drew so much strength, inspiration, and information from here, finding SR was a turning point in my life. It's still my main and pretty much only source of support in this battle. After reading many stories and experiences I realized that I'm not unique in my struggles to moderate. That I'm not alone. And that it is possible to tackle this monster without one traditional approach, you can create your own plan. You can pick and choose what works for you, but the crucial item in this plan has to be complete abstinence. I hated that idea before, but SR helped me accept it.
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Old 09-29-2014, 09:37 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Awesome post!
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Old 09-30-2014, 03:50 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Beautiful post! I used to ask one of my coworkers who doesn't drink: "How do you enjoy life not drinking?" He would go mountain biking, fishing, spend time with his kids, run, etc. Deep down I was a little jealous b/c I wanted to be alive again and do those things but I couldn't grasp going through a weekend without a drink! Wow! How our views on alcohol are/were distorted!!!
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Old 09-30-2014, 04:09 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Amazing. Thank you melki for the inspiration to stay sober.
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Old 09-30-2014, 04:16 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Loved this post
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Old 09-30-2014, 04:23 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Inspirational !!
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If you (I) want something different to happen...
You (I) have to do something different...
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Old 09-30-2014, 05:10 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Thank you! This is great. I can completely relate to hiding the empties and then smuggling them out of the house to dispose of them. UGH...exhausting. Thank you.
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Old 09-30-2014, 05:23 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Thank you, melki. Hugs.
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