Magellan

Made it to day 5, then on Friday day 6 was feeling great, got home and my wife was making a great dinner having a glass of wine, at first I didn't have one but then I caved, then I caved again on Saturday & Sunday, thinking well I blew it may as well ruining the rest of the weekend, now I'm scared I won't be able to jump back at it. Missed my workout this am, feeling incredibly crappy, especially since I know how good I felt last week...oh well just got to keep moving forward.

SoberLife2014

Keep moving forward. I'd suggest writing down exactly how you feel right now and referring back to it any time you feel like having a drink.

FreeOwl

have you discussed with your wife that you want to quit drinking?

DO you want to quit drinking?

Because "I caved" is an easy phrase to gloss over a lot of potential dynamics that could be leading you to just keep right on drinking.

If your wife is a 'normal' drinker or isn't at a stage in her own life that not drinking is an option for her, and if you want to quit drinking - then some clear communication should be had if it has not already.

Six days is a good run - but if you are here because drinking has become problematic in your life, then six days is just a practice run.



I'm sorry you're feeling crappy. I know that feeling all too well.

Fly N Buy

Willingness and desire are the keys that unlock the gate......

When you have those, life can change.

Are you truly committed or unsure? What made you cave?

For me, I had/have to be willing to do whatever it takes and the desire above ALL things to be sober. Took me a long time, hope you're not like me!

Day 113

peace

Cecilia44

Magellan it can be hard to truly commit to being sober at the beginning, trust me, I know. I made it 8 days sober and "caved" as you put it. It can be very deflating.

However, you proved you can make it a few days and you can do it again. Just start again today, one day at a time and slowly you will get there.

I am on day 4 (although I don't think I am going to pay too much attention to counting "days" again) and have a few days under my belt compared to just a day one.

But the day ones add up, slowly, as you know and you can get right back to where you were before and continue forward.

Keep that "incredibly crappy" feeling in your mind the next time you think about taking a drink again and then before you know it, you'll have a week.

Hugs to you. .

Soberwolf

Just keep trying & trying

good luck

BeBetterforkids

Same thing happened to me this weekend. I caved on Thursday night and drank Friday and Saturday. On day 2 now...good luck to you! Lord knows I need all the help I can get to get back into this.

luvmygirls

Keep at this. You can do it.

My husband is a normal drinker. I haven't told him I'm quitting yet. Although he means well, he can be very overbearing at times, and I'm having enough trouble in my own head. Last night, he offered to pour me a glass of wine and I declined (twice). Your post made me think again about not telling him. Thank you.

Anna

So, if you want a different outcome next time, what can you change?

SoberLeigh

Hey, Magellan. Pick yourself up and start again. Learn something from your relapse. Early days require a great deal of self-examination and honesty. There is so much more to sobriety than not picking up.

You can turn crappy into happy with true commitment.

Rooting for you.

FreeOwl

I tried time and again to quit or to moderate in 'secret' without telling anyone, including my lady.

She's a very rare-occasion drinker and seldom has more than one even when she does drink.

Time and again, my efforts - when kept to myself - remained in vain.

When I finally became 'exposed' to her and my family for just how far my tendency to abuse alcohol had progressed, I was more or less forced into telling her I wanted to stop.

I found it a LOT easier once she knew. She will still on occasion have a beer herself, and we don't talk about it all that much and I do still journey the sober path getting most of my support from here and AA and others I know who have had similar struggles. But just knowing she knows and knowing that she doesn't see me as broken or lesser and knowing she doesn't need or want me to drink to be like her or to have a good time - all makes it easier. My best friend knowing means I have an ally. When I was doing it in secret, it wasn't ever going to work because I was 'caving' in only to myself without anyone there having my back or checking in with me...

Magellan

Anna, I don't know, it just happened, my little voice just said that it would be okay and that was it. My willpower went out the window. I had a great week at work and I guess I thought I could "reward" myself, I need to get out of that mentality.

Magellan

FreeOwl, thanks for this. It is very helpful.