Reputation as a Drunk.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
I actually am appreciative that I now see drunkenness for what it is and for what it did to me, very clearly. I think most of us here have a lot of wonderful traits and those who love us focused on those wonderful traits despite our drunkenness. (thank their blessed souls!!!) However, I decided I don't want to be that tragic story. DD was a lovely woman, a good mother and a devoted wife despite that fact that she was a raging drunk. I am so happy that I have seen the light and get to drop the "despite the fact that she was a drunk" part. So, I have used my reality check of the fact that I wasn't really a cute, funny middle aged sorority girl, but more so, a woman who had a serious problem with alcohol who really made others cringe at times, as a huge motivator. I like being the strong, reflective woman who faced reality and changed herself for the better. 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Originally Posted by doureallycare2 
I know that the guy I just broke up with ( I really believe he was an alcoholic) said to me once how he hates his cousins wife. That although she doesn't know him that well she had the nerve to say to him that she doesn't like him because he's a drunk and told him to his face he drank to much and shouldn't drive while at a gathering. he was offended because when he drinks he never drives "now". and quote "she has no idea how much I had to drink. Now, those of us that don't drink very often would have been offended at the not liking me part.. not about her being worried if I had to much and was going to drive.
I was the Best Man for my best friend at his wedding about 7 years ago. That meant I had to spend quite a bit of time with the Bride's sister, the Maid of Honour, who I had never met before. As we sat next to each other at the rehearsal dinner, she said "So your Mark, the guy who's always drunk? You seem pretty sober now"
I don't blame her, but I know how the Bride sees me now.
(Side note: My comeback was "So you're the one who got pregnant at 15?" Where's his father?..*silence*)
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 199
Originally Posted by DoubleDragons
I actually am appreciative that I now see drunkenness for what it is and for what it did to me, very clearly. I think most of us here have a lot of wonderful traits and those who love us focused on those wonderful traits despite our drunkenness. (thank their blessed souls!!!) However, I decided I don't want to be that tragic story. DD was a lovely woman, a good mother and a devoted wife despite that fact that she was a raging drunk. I am so happy that I have seen the light and get to drop the "despite the fact that she was a drunk" part. So, I have used my reality check of the fact that I wasn't really a cute, funny middle aged sorority girl, but more so, a woman who had a serious problem with alcohol who really made others cringe at times, as a huge motivator. I like being the strong, reflective woman who faced reality and changed herself for the better.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by Wastinglife
I don't see won't see most of the people, it's my own thoughts I can't escape. Flashbacks
It's not the only way, but in my experience, these thoughts and feelings have to be dealt with somehow.
For some people they alleviate on there own, by just not drinking for a length of time.
If you find they don't seem to be alleviating for you after a year or so, at that point, some action, in my opinion, would be advisable.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Wastinglife
Doureally, your anecdote is very similar to the one that inspired my first post.
I was the Best Man for my best friend at his wedding about 7 years ago. That meant I had to spend quite a bit of time with the Bride's sister, the Maid of Honour, who I had never met before. As we sat next to each other at the rehearsal dinner, she said "So your Mark, the guy who's always drunk? You seem pretty sober now"
I don't blame her, but I know how the Bride sees me now.
(Side note: My comeback was "So you're the one who got pregnant at 15?" Where's his father?..*silence*)
I was the Best Man for my best friend at his wedding about 7 years ago. That meant I had to spend quite a bit of time with the Bride's sister, the Maid of Honour, who I had never met before. As we sat next to each other at the rehearsal dinner, she said "So your Mark, the guy who's always drunk? You seem pretty sober now"
I don't blame her, but I know how the Bride sees me now.
(Side note: My comeback was "So you're the one who got pregnant at 15?" Where's his father?..*silence*)
I had the flashbacks and replaying past failures and such. This persisted for almost a year. Nothing I tried got this to stop. Except building a better life for myself.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: South
Posts: 226
When I first secretly sobered up, I offered to drive some friends home from a party. Even though they were all drunk, they refused to get in the car with me because I was too drunk. I didn't have a lick of alcohol, and wasn't giggly or slurring. Honestly, I think they projected their image of me in my stead, rather than little old sober me.
I was sort of humiliated, except that they were all drunk, and couldn't remember it themselves.
I was sort of humiliated, except that they were all drunk, and couldn't remember it themselves.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 12
One of the greatest gifts that I have received in recovery is understanding that I am a person with a serious illness. There are plenty of things that I've done that I am not proud of and being ill certainly isn't an excuse. It's a reason.
For ten years, I thought there was something inherently wrong with me as a human being. I didn't understand why I felt so horrible all of the time (which is why I drank...and drank...and drank). I would watch other people and wonder how they were so happy. That only reinforced the thought that there was definitely something wrong with me.
There was something wrong. I was very, very sick and I had no idea at all. I didn't know that alcoholism is a disease of the body as well as the mind. I don't think people around me knew that either. Of course, I hid it from everyone I could. (Pretty sure that makes people helping a little more difficult too...)
For ten years, I walked around with a disease with no medicine, no cure and no hope.
You weren't a "drunk" or a "lush" or anything else people want to label you with. You are a person who has a serious illness. You're someone in need of a wise physician. Thank goodness there is a solution!
I guess I balk a bit when people take all of those hurtful, demoralizing terms and heap them on a person when they are suffering from an illness they truly have no control over. There is no shame that should be associated with having a disease.
You aren't your illness. They will definitely see it soon enough
All the best in your journey!
For ten years, I thought there was something inherently wrong with me as a human being. I didn't understand why I felt so horrible all of the time (which is why I drank...and drank...and drank). I would watch other people and wonder how they were so happy. That only reinforced the thought that there was definitely something wrong with me.
There was something wrong. I was very, very sick and I had no idea at all. I didn't know that alcoholism is a disease of the body as well as the mind. I don't think people around me knew that either. Of course, I hid it from everyone I could. (Pretty sure that makes people helping a little more difficult too...)
For ten years, I walked around with a disease with no medicine, no cure and no hope.
You weren't a "drunk" or a "lush" or anything else people want to label you with. You are a person who has a serious illness. You're someone in need of a wise physician. Thank goodness there is a solution!
I guess I balk a bit when people take all of those hurtful, demoralizing terms and heap them on a person when they are suffering from an illness they truly have no control over. There is no shame that should be associated with having a disease.
You aren't your illness. They will definitely see it soon enough
All the best in your journey!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New york
Posts: 144
Originally Posted by Wastinglife
Doureally, your anecdote is very similar to the one that inspired my first post.
I was the Best Man for my best friend at his wedding about 7 years ago. That meant I had to spend quite a bit of time with the Bride's sister, the Maid of Honour, who I had never met before. As we sat next to each other at the rehearsal dinner, she said "So your Mark, the guy who's always drunk? You seem pretty sober now"
I don't blame her, but I know how the Bride sees me now.
(Side note: My comeback was "So you're the one who got pregnant at 15?" Where's his father?..*silence*)
I was the Best Man for my best friend at his wedding about 7 years ago. That meant I had to spend quite a bit of time with the Bride's sister, the Maid of Honour, who I had never met before. As we sat next to each other at the rehearsal dinner, she said "So your Mark, the guy who's always drunk? You seem pretty sober now"
I don't blame her, but I know how the Bride sees me now.
(Side note: My comeback was "So you're the one who got pregnant at 15?" Where's his father?..*silence*)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: South Florida
Posts: 160
I think we all go through this period, or we wouldn't have a reason to stop. There are so many things I wish I hadn't done, or that people didn't know about. None of us can change that, so we have to just move on and take it as a learning experience. I am basing my recovery on living a positive, healthy life that I can be proud of, so when those horrible flashbacks and thoughts haunt me, I take it as a reminder of how I NEVER want to feel again. It's not too late to build a new reputation, and people actually admire the strength! Getting sober is not easy, and will be admired by many. I already have friends coming to me for advice on how to stop bc they see me doing so well. Everyone has problems, and are not dwelling on yours! I hope this helps, as we are all feeling the same way
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