Hello Everyone
 

Hi everyone, just wanted to say hello and introduce myself and tell you what brought me here. I'm 34. Married to an awesome guy for 8 years. No children. We're both animal lovers. I don't drink all the time, but when I do, it's a lot. I don't know how to stop at one and it's usually to the point of me blacking out.

This past weekend I got drunk and messaged an old flame from my early twenties on Facebook. I basically poured my heart out to him. I told him that I missed him and that I think of him often. I told him that I avoid communicating with him because we were somewhat intimate together before I got married. He responded and said he was happy to hear from me, but I think he was a little weirded out by my behavior. I'm not very active on Facebook at all (except when I've been drinking).

About 15 minutes after this exchange, I realized what I had done and was completely panicked. I blocked him on Facebook and deactivated my account. I know this doesn't completely erase the messages on his end, but I tried anything I could to reverse what I had created. I woke up the next morning feeling totally embarrassed and humiliated. My behavior was completely out of character. I told my husband what happened and he tried to console me and tell me that it wasn't a big deal and that I was allowed to send one inappropriate message out in my lifetime. He said it could have been a lot worse (it could've been my boss).

The good news is this guy that I message lives in another state and I doubt that we'll ever see each other ever again. I just feel so ashamed at what I did and hate that I can't go back and change it. I'm probably beating myself up the worst over this, but my husband is so important me and doing anything of that nature makes me feel like I tarnished our relationship somehow.

Anyway, thank you for reading this and I'm happy to be here. I feel like I needed the extra support and so that's what encouraged me to join you. Facebook and drinking are the worst combo for me and I hope that I can be done with both permanently.

Hi Meowy, I also messaged old flames while drunk. It's so embarrassing to wake up the next day and see what you wrote. I would also call and text people drunk out of my mind and being stupid. I don't even bother with FB when sober. I only log in drunk.

I have a lot embarassing memories of just being a weirdo.

Welcome!

I know all about the drunk Facebooking. There were plenty of times where I posted comments etc. on FB while drunk that I had no memory of the following morning. How embarrassing!

You'll find the peeps here at SR quite supportive-- you've come to a great place.

Welcome!

Welcome to SR meowy. Drinking certainly clouds our judgement. I had a very similar FB experience with an old flame once too, so I know exactly how you feel. Working on your sobriety is of course is the best way to move forward, SR is a great place to find out how.

I think we believe that others care waaaaaaaaayyyyyyy more about our actions than they do. People have other things to do, and more important stuff going on in their lives.

I'm still a drinker and i'm still struggling. But I embarrassed myself so many times. SO MANY TIMES. Finally, I just realized that when I am drinking, I don't go out, I don't answer the phone, I don't type anything on FB.

I have just enough self control to cut myself off from the world to avoid humiliation.

Hello welcome

Oh, Meowy, you and I could be twinners! Except I'm a year older than you ;)

But seriously, your drinking patterns and mine are almost exactly the same. I don't drink daily, but when I do, I'm "that girl" who gets 100% stupid. Blacks out. Does dumb sh*t I can't remember doing and ultimately feels out of control in the aftermath.

I also have an awesome hubby I love with all my soul, and I believe he deserves better than that. Not some totally lushed-out lady who is kissing random strangers at the bar :-/

Anyway, I'm so glad your husband is in the know about the message you sent. There are still things I haven't totally divulged to my husband, because I was scared of the hurt I'd cause. And my embarrassment. Maybe one day, I'll be brave enough to do the same.

Glad to see you here!

Hi and welcome! I've done the same kind of thing, on Facebook and in text. Only to wake up the next morning wondering what have I done. My advice is give it a little time. It will all be water under the bridge in a week or so. Life is so fast paced, things like this often get pushed out of someone's mind.

Glad to have you here with us!

Welcome, meowy.

Welcome to the best decision you've every made, Meowy.

Welcome to the community. Yes, social media and drinking are a dangerous combination! In your case, don't feel too ashamed. You've made a good decision coming here and recognizing you need a change.
Strangely, while there were periods where I drank daily, and quite a bit (2 bottles of wine or a 24 of vodka) I was not the type to blackout or behave completely out of character. This and I still had some poorly timed/composed texts! We've been there.

Welcome to the Forum!! :wave:

Welcome to the family MC. :)

Welcome Meowy :)

I tend to agree that we care a lot more about stuff like this...the guy has probably shrugged it off.

Still, I understand your mortification, and I think it's certainly a wake up call.

There's a lot of understanding and support here - glad you found us :)

D

Great to meet you meowy!

I did shameful and stupid things while drinking too. I couldn't trust myself once it was in my system. I had to reclaim my life and stop relying on it. You can do it - we'll help. :)

Been there! Its such a bad place to be. I kept mine a secret until my husband and I got engaged. I'm glad you told him sooner than I did.