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Old 09-27-2014, 04:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Spent the whole of the day in a pub...


And didn't drink.

That's right, I decided to meet a friend today in a pub by the Thames at lunchtime. He was getting geared up for our typical booze-filled Saturday of conversation reaching into the evening.

I, however, decided to get my lunch with a Coke. After my second Coke he asked why I wasn't drinking - looking a little disappointed. I then told him everything:

The hospitalisation last month, the missed days of work, the lone drinking, the hiding empties, recklessly spending most of my salary on drink etc. etc. . .

For the first time, I've been honest with my friends and family and have decided this time I'm not doing it alone.

We spent the rest of the day drinking coffee in the bar and had our dinner. I'm now home, sober in bed writing this to you guys.

I feel this is important as I don't want to forfeit my social life (which for better or for worse tends to revolve around several bars).

I had a good day, at a bar, with no drink - left early at 9pm and missed the worse (messy) part of the night. I'll let my friends enjoy and feel awful the next day :P
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Old 09-27-2014, 04:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
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That's great closet! Honesty and sharing and asking for help is a hard thing I know. You were strong today.
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Old 09-27-2014, 05:00 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm glad you weren't tempted to drink. You'll wake up feeling good tomorrow.
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Old 09-27-2014, 05:02 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Cheers, it's good to know it can be done.

I need to live my life as normally as possible, just without the drink.

The pub doesn't make me drink. I make me drink. I also stop making myself drink.

That simple.
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Old 09-27-2014, 05:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
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PS.

Also for a split second, I thought to myself: ''If I do drink, it's a bit disrespectful to all the SR'ers that have been so supportive over the last three weeks'' !! Even though we only know each other as avatars and whimsical usernames! Lol.

This forum is a big help
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Old 09-27-2014, 05:07 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by closetlobster View Post
Cheers, it's good to know it can be done.

I need to live my life as normally as possible, just without the drink.

The pub doesn't make me drink. I make me drink. I also stop making myself drink.

That simple.
With that mentality, a guy's strenght is limitless!

Bravo!
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Old 09-27-2014, 05:11 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Well done closet if it doesnt trigger it doesnt trigger

im the same i dont really like pubs but understand as my brother doesnt drink either due to his gambling and he has a big social circle that revolves around the pub

i can be near alcohol but choose not to be i just hate it THAT MUCH lol

well done big progress !
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Old 09-27-2014, 05:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Well done. That is where I would like to be some day - to still be able to socialise, minus the booze and chaos. I always see people eating in the pub but have never had any solids in there! Maybe one day...
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Old 09-27-2014, 05:19 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Best post I have read in ages.

I caused myself no end of self inflicted worry, thinking how i could tell all my former drinking buddies I wasn't drinking anymore.

Out of 20 odd guys, only one took it a bit far, and tried to convince me i didn't have a problem, the others all went "cool, respect your decision " some even said "yeah, we've been waiting for the penny to drop" lol

You can probably figure out the response of the one guy.
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Old 09-27-2014, 05:35 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I got a similar experience at the supermarket today, I was about to pick up some cheap liquor then I tought about you people, and posting here, saying sorry it was day 1 again and all that crap, bought some chocolate instead
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Old 09-27-2014, 05:44 PM   #11 (permalink)
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That not something I would have done in early recovery.

I did it lots of times when I was trying to quit - and managed it successfully...but I foolishly thought that meant I'd be ok in those situations from then on.

I wasn't.
Please don't take anything for granted.


Quote:
I need to live my life as normally as possible, just without the drink.
Again, and I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but that didn't work for me either, cos my old life was all about drinking. It became torture - I was either miserable with this huge alcohol shaped hole in my life, or I'd drink again.

I hope you find it's a different outcome for you, CL.

D
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Old 09-27-2014, 05:53 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
That not something I would have done in early recovery.

I did it lots of times when I was trying to quit - and managed it successfully...but I foolishly thought that meant I'd be ok in those situations from then on.

I wasn't.
Please don't take anything for granted.




Again, and I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but that didn't work for me either, cos my old life was all about drinking. It became torture - I was either miserable with this huge alcohol shaped hole in my life, or I'd drink again.

I hope you find it's a different outcome for you, CL.

D
Okay, thanks for your insight...I'll consider this, and definitely approach with more caution in the future.

I guess all it takes is a little encouragement from a friend and a rush of blood to the head and BOOM...back to day one.

I guess naturally my life will change post-alcohol with little attraction in dragging myself across town to sit and sip Coke in a bar...
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Old 09-27-2014, 06:15 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Cool of your friend to order coffee with you, if I read that right. That's a true friend right that...
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Old 09-27-2014, 06:18 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by closetlobster View Post

That's right, I decided to meet a friend today in a pub by the Thames at lunchtime. He was getting geared up for our typical booze-filled Saturday of conversation reaching into the evening.

I, however, decided to get my lunch with a Coke. After my second Coke ...
I'm sure glad you didn't order a milk with your meal...



Seriously, CL, am glad you handled the event safely.
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Old 09-27-2014, 06:18 PM   #15 (permalink)
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That's awesome! Congratulations.
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Old 09-27-2014, 06:27 PM   #16 (permalink)
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ClosetLobster Welcome, I found myself drifting back to all my "friends" in the bars in my early sobriety, was not that hard for me as the ones that really cared understood , and the ones that didn't I don't bother with. I slipped a few times but got my grip back and now though I miss seeing some of my friends I don't go as I am very busy with life and am on probation for 3 years and am not allowed in drinking establishments. So I phone a few of them as I am just doing my thing staying sober and getting things done, when I need to talk I phone some of my bar friends and they understand! I'm getting along well with my probation officer and he has hinted of my getting off it possibly in 18 months so I will do whatever it takes to get the rest of my life and my damn license back! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby
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Old 09-27-2014, 06:52 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Never was much for bars. It would always cost me a fortune to get where I needed to be.
Always something going on around the block in my neighborhood.
I avoid this most of the time now but sometimes go out to see how everyone is. They all know my situation (small town). Early on they would offer me a drink, now it's no big deal.
Leaving early is my M.O. also. I usually hear about all the drama the next day. Occasionally get to see the flashing red lights down the street and think "glad it ain't me".
Good job handling it! Don't get too comfortable and let your guard down. It's all too easy!
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Old 09-27-2014, 07:17 PM   #18 (permalink)
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doesn't it feel good to finally come out of the closet lobster? instead of hiding/avoiding and making excuses, you can be yourself. it's one of the things I did right away. I told my people. and all were very supportive. no judgements or scorn, just congrats and glad for you kind of remarks.
keep up the good work. but don't become complacent hanging out in bars all the time. you never know when you may let your guard down.
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Old 09-27-2014, 07:35 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I'd concur with Dee's advice.

Life lessons tend to come one of two ways, the hard way or the easy way.

Easy - learn from others.
Hard - learn for yourself.

The old saying goes

"If you sit in a barbers chair often enough and long enough, you'll probably get a haircut"
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Old 09-27-2014, 07:42 PM   #20 (permalink)
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CL - good for talking to your pal!!

Last week was the first time I ventured into a sports bar to watch a game and eat some wings. I had to sequester myself till I thought I had built up some tools - that timeframe for me was around 100 days

Be vigilant, and "celebrate" your victory today !!
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