In the supermarket and this happens
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I don't agree that every ridiculous thing that others say or do should be ignored, nor do I agree that one should fly into a rage about small injustices either. There are more than just two options though. There is nothing wrong with an assertive response to insulting behavior. It's a healthy way to respond and then move on.
I have a very thick skin because my son with autism draws lots of attention from others. When someone comments that he "needs a spanking" when he's acting out or says he shouldn't be allowed in public places, I respond to them assertively - not because I'm angry or hurt but because it's my chance to fight ignorance.
The grocery store situation is the same. The ridiculous comment showed obvious ignorance. I think an assertive but unemotional response was in order. I'm a huge fan of humor, the more off color and irreverent the better. But If saying "you should be paying" is a joke, I guess I just don't get the punch line. I mean jokes are supposed to be funny right? If she was trying to reach out and "connect" with others then all I can say is her game is way off.
I have a very thick skin because my son with autism draws lots of attention from others. When someone comments that he "needs a spanking" when he's acting out or says he shouldn't be allowed in public places, I respond to them assertively - not because I'm angry or hurt but because it's my chance to fight ignorance.
The grocery store situation is the same. The ridiculous comment showed obvious ignorance. I think an assertive but unemotional response was in order. I'm a huge fan of humor, the more off color and irreverent the better. But If saying "you should be paying" is a joke, I guess I just don't get the punch line. I mean jokes are supposed to be funny right? If she was trying to reach out and "connect" with others then all I can say is her game is way off.
Maybe you should type up your current life situation and life history, then hand a copy to everyone who wishes to converse with you and insist they read it before they are allowed to converse.
Or a t-shirt that says "don't talk to me and I won't talk to you"
Seems the only way to ensure no one offends you.
Or a t-shirt that says "don't talk to me and I won't talk to you"
Seems the only way to ensure no one offends you.
Wow that's crazy ! Wait till you have kid and strangers try to tell you how to parent!!! People do not surprise me much anymore though.. As a flight attendant you see it all!
I can do all things through he who strengthens me
I can do all things through he who strengthens me
It wasn't meant to be a hurtful remark.
One of the other mods here, Cats, has a great sig line - "what other people think of me is none of my business".
For most of my life I had little idea of self.
I spent my life seeking validation from other people.
When I didn't get it I got angry and resentful.
my life was full of little exchanges like the one in this thread - the added 'bonus' for me as an alcoholic was that I could 'legitimately' drink over stuff like this.
One thing recovery has given me is a good sense of self and boundaries.
I know now very well who I am...and I think I read other people better too.
It doesn't mean I don't get upset, and I hope it doesn't mean I'm arrogant but there's a sense of perspective there now that wasn't there before.
There's a lot of things worth getting worked up over in this world.
Fair play and I'm sorry if I offended, but I'm not sure this kind of stuff is one of those things
D
One of the other mods here, Cats, has a great sig line - "what other people think of me is none of my business".
For most of my life I had little idea of self.
I spent my life seeking validation from other people.
When I didn't get it I got angry and resentful.
my life was full of little exchanges like the one in this thread - the added 'bonus' for me as an alcoholic was that I could 'legitimately' drink over stuff like this.
One thing recovery has given me is a good sense of self and boundaries.
I know now very well who I am...and I think I read other people better too.
It doesn't mean I don't get upset, and I hope it doesn't mean I'm arrogant but there's a sense of perspective there now that wasn't there before.
There's a lot of things worth getting worked up over in this world.
Fair play and I'm sorry if I offended, but I'm not sure this kind of stuff is one of those things
D
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Whatever the outcome of the debate there is one thing we can all agree on and that is Sainsbury's, regardless of the smaller demographic who frequents the stores, does target and caters for a middle class shopper!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I think it's a fine thread. People should discuss events and feelings related to them if they wish, even if others deem it trivial. It's about the process, not the specific incident.
I am betting she thinks before she makes that joke again. That is a good thing, it could really turn ugly w/the wrong person. Think before you speak is all.
It's fine to be friendly, but not when you may offend someone.
ps...Can you buy mine too?? HAHA, Just Kidding!
It's fine to be friendly, but not when you may offend someone.
ps...Can you buy mine too?? HAHA, Just Kidding!
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