Anyone experience this.....
Heard this prayer early in recovery
From Nov. 21 the daily reflections
It's what I strive for in my daily life
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.
Life is far to fleeting to not have inward peace in our lives
From Nov. 21 the daily reflections
It's what I strive for in my daily life
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.
Life is far to fleeting to not have inward peace in our lives
The prayer of St. Francis! I have the song version on my iPod, listening to it really helps when I don't have the best mindset.
Edit: it's actually only attributed to St. Francis, but that's what it's called on iTunes.
Edit: it's actually only attributed to St. Francis, but that's what it's called on iTunes.
You will get a grip on this also. I have mellowed out quite a bit since the early days . I didn't like how I felt, so found ways to relax and not feel like such a maniac. That includes exercise, meditation, doing things that I enjoy.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
I was very irritable angry arrogant and bullish when I quit.
I knew that wasn;t who I wanted to be tho.
I focused on the good things in my life, I gave thanks for them...I did some service work, and later when I found God again, I prayed.
I did a lot of standing in other people's shoes and made a lot of apologies.
I basically tried to get out my own head a little. Self pity and resentment were great fuels for me being a jackass
D
I knew that wasn;t who I wanted to be tho.
I focused on the good things in my life, I gave thanks for them...I did some service work, and later when I found God again, I prayed.
I did a lot of standing in other people's shoes and made a lot of apologies.
I basically tried to get out my own head a little. Self pity and resentment were great fuels for me being a jackass
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 550
Raider, I wonder if some of this is coming from your living habits changing and you feeling cooped up in the little cabin. Take a deep breath, take a walk or do whatever you can to regroup. Patience is hard to find but you can do it. Hugs.
I was very angry and short tempered for a while, I became quite judgemental too. I realised that-- in a sense -- I had to "get over myself". I'm not suggesting this is the case for you Raider, I am saying that is how it was for me.
Daily walking helped. Posting on the Morning and Bedtime threads here at SR helped immensely, so did working harder at my volunteer job. A very great woman said:
"To handle yourself, use your head.
To handle others, use your heart."
~Eleanor Roosevelt
Daily walking helped. Posting on the Morning and Bedtime threads here at SR helped immensely, so did working harder at my volunteer job. A very great woman said:
"To handle yourself, use your head.
To handle others, use your heart."
~Eleanor Roosevelt
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I was angry, full of rage, judgemental, impatient... all of it. And I still am working on the impatience and judgement nearly daily. The rage is gone, finally.... thank goodness. I raged it all out apparently. I still have some deep seated anger issues regarding family and a few other things as well. But working on that. It really takes time, Raider. And some introspection, and fearless honesty. I shed my delusions, one by one. I held onto them tightly, until they were so obvious and blatant it was ridiculous I would even think about denying things any longer.
Oddly enough, I was never really in denial I had a drinking problem. Even early on I knew it, in my early 20s. My denial was in my perception... my perception of myself, others, and the world. Lots of fear and hurt underneath all that.
I had to, as Marcher put it... get over myself
Oddly enough, I was never really in denial I had a drinking problem. Even early on I knew it, in my early 20s. My denial was in my perception... my perception of myself, others, and the world. Lots of fear and hurt underneath all that.
I had to, as Marcher put it... get over myself
At least you can see it, that's something more than I had. Early in sobriety it was my opinion that the world was a dark, dark place and everyone was running around with blinders on. I complained nightly on the phone, in person, or even to strangers on the Internet! When I first came here I was 3 months sober and just plain angry.
It will pass. In my case, it took a while. I don't learn well from listening to others, I need to actually go through a "trial and error" process. Took me a long time to figure out what works best. Have patience and you'll find the same.
It will pass. In my case, it took a while. I don't learn well from listening to others, I need to actually go through a "trial and error" process. Took me a long time to figure out what works best. Have patience and you'll find the same.
Raider, I am the total opposite these days, however I can relate and what you describe and that has been me in the past...
So many things are very different for me now, I feel like I really need to pick my battles as the emotional fatigue of expressing strong opinions serves me no purpose.
So many things are very different for me now, I feel like I really need to pick my battles as the emotional fatigue of expressing strong opinions serves me no purpose.
Learning how to back myself down from building a head of steam which would then lead to drinking was difficult .
The crack in the armour i worked on was when i found myself angry was something i've head buddists go on about , which is returning to how my body is feeling ..
when i was angry my whole body was tense my face screwed up , so i started with those simple things . loosen my body, relax it , untense my face , uncurl the hands/fists , physically cool off , go outside or splash my face with water .
It took the edge off enough and with time i found i could do it quicker and slowly the anger would calm also . Long cool showers also helped .
Anger is only ended with non-anger .
Take care R ,
bestwishes , m
The crack in the armour i worked on was when i found myself angry was something i've head buddists go on about , which is returning to how my body is feeling ..
when i was angry my whole body was tense my face screwed up , so i started with those simple things . loosen my body, relax it , untense my face , uncurl the hands/fists , physically cool off , go outside or splash my face with water .
It took the edge off enough and with time i found i could do it quicker and slowly the anger would calm also . Long cool showers also helped .
Anger is only ended with non-anger .
Take care R ,
bestwishes , m
Yep and it's my biggest challenge in recovery.
The realization that so often it is all about me.
My opinions, my feelings, my needs, my difficulties, my finances, my physical well being, my aspirations, my programme, my car, my boat, my job.....my,my,my.
I hate this and beat myself up about it all the time.
But i ned to try to be kind in my judgement of others AND mself.
And trust that things will change as i work toward a better and less self absorbed me.
The habitual thinking of a lifetime is not going to change overnight.
But in time i know that it will.
G
The realization that so often it is all about me.
My opinions, my feelings, my needs, my difficulties, my finances, my physical well being, my aspirations, my programme, my car, my boat, my job.....my,my,my.
I hate this and beat myself up about it all the time.
But i ned to try to be kind in my judgement of others AND mself.
And trust that things will change as i work toward a better and less self absorbed me.
The habitual thinking of a lifetime is not going to change overnight.
But in time i know that it will.
G
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
this is why i needed the people in aa and my sponsor and how my faith in them grew to the point i understood they knew me better than i knew myself
the fact is i had reacted all my life on impulse, if i was right then i was right, even if i was wrong i would make it look or sound like i am right
i needed a lot of work on me and finding out about me and how i reacted in life, be it a relationship or work if things didnt go just how i wanted them to go, if people didnt do what i wanted them to do then i either would cut them out of my life or change my job or whatever just to try to stay locked up being in self
the answer is to stop doing it lol
not as easy as it sounds as its a life long job, so all i can do is start to practice not doing it
i have come to see now looking back over the years just how much i have grown in this area
i can let people have there own way these days and sit there and keep my gob shut
no matter how much that feeling inside of me wants me to react
not all the time as i can still get cheesed off but then i soon know if i have and i know i have to get back to living a good peaceful way of life if i am ever going to stop that madness
i would have to contact my sponsor in times of need or anger and sound off on him and in the end i would come off the phone laughing at myself such was how my sponsor could see the me inside of me and tap into me in a way no one else on the plantet could
i would have to write things down that were hurting me and write down all my anger telling people to f off etc on paper
and it would go away so much so when i would reread my writings i would laugh at myself for being so stupid
today i can react to things or not as i know i will probably have to say sorry if i react and i dont have to say sorry if i dont react : )
i am still learning and still an aa youngster as i am only 10 years around, i have gone past the know all stages of being sober and wanting the world to do things my way etc
today i try to accept things as they are and people for how they are without trying to change them
thanks to aa and the people in aa who have been honest about how they really are so i could identify with them and learn from them,
but its always on going for me as i will never have it cracked
good luck to pam
the fact is i had reacted all my life on impulse, if i was right then i was right, even if i was wrong i would make it look or sound like i am right
i needed a lot of work on me and finding out about me and how i reacted in life, be it a relationship or work if things didnt go just how i wanted them to go, if people didnt do what i wanted them to do then i either would cut them out of my life or change my job or whatever just to try to stay locked up being in self
the answer is to stop doing it lol
not as easy as it sounds as its a life long job, so all i can do is start to practice not doing it
i have come to see now looking back over the years just how much i have grown in this area
i can let people have there own way these days and sit there and keep my gob shut
no matter how much that feeling inside of me wants me to react
not all the time as i can still get cheesed off but then i soon know if i have and i know i have to get back to living a good peaceful way of life if i am ever going to stop that madness
i would have to contact my sponsor in times of need or anger and sound off on him and in the end i would come off the phone laughing at myself such was how my sponsor could see the me inside of me and tap into me in a way no one else on the plantet could
i would have to write things down that were hurting me and write down all my anger telling people to f off etc on paper
and it would go away so much so when i would reread my writings i would laugh at myself for being so stupid
today i can react to things or not as i know i will probably have to say sorry if i react and i dont have to say sorry if i dont react : )
i am still learning and still an aa youngster as i am only 10 years around, i have gone past the know all stages of being sober and wanting the world to do things my way etc
today i try to accept things as they are and people for how they are without trying to change them
thanks to aa and the people in aa who have been honest about how they really are so i could identify with them and learn from them,
but its always on going for me as i will never have it cracked
good luck to pam
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
The irritability was one of the scariest components of the first month of sobriety for me, I think mostly because by default I am absolutely not an angry person, if anything, I have problems being in touch with aggressive impulses. It was a foreign state for me, especially when, for example, I would walk around in NYC thinking I could wipe out all life from the streets when they got in my way! Also almost constantly mad at myself for every little thing, thought, and feeling. Angry for being so moody and out of control.
Well the residents of NYC are still alive and so am I, so it does pass
Well the residents of NYC are still alive and so am I, so it does pass
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Yes in the beginning of my sobriety, anger and impatience was very much at issue. I'm sure it still is as I'm a long ways from any sort of Zen..but wow...I think I'm a lot better. This is probably a little wierd to some, but a very BIG reason I decided to include AA in my recovery is because I am a very reactive, defensive person and I really get triggered by unsolicited advice..like baaaaad. I really wanted to work on this for myself as it bothered me how reactive I can be (it's actually a lot more manageable not drinking and the further along I travel down sober road). What better place to deal with everybody having an opinion and advice..than AA? What better place to work on my own personal boundaries.
Everybody is entitled to their opinion and they can shoot off advice at me as much as they want. I really WANT to allow them that room. I DON'T have to freak out all over them. I can hear them out...as I say...this is something I really wanted to work on for myself because it just wasn't cool in my mind. I felt like a big baby or something. All I gotta do is learn to thank 'em and/or smile and wave.
I don't want to fight anymore..so I'm working on that. I want to respect other folks right to be heard...so I'm working on it. But it's REALLY hard sometimes...really hard. A while back..you yourself said something in a thread that really upset and angered me. I had to "shut it down" and deal with my thoughts on that one rather than get all up in your grill...but I really, really, really wanted to
Everybody is entitled to their opinion and they can shoot off advice at me as much as they want. I really WANT to allow them that room. I DON'T have to freak out all over them. I can hear them out...as I say...this is something I really wanted to work on for myself because it just wasn't cool in my mind. I felt like a big baby or something. All I gotta do is learn to thank 'em and/or smile and wave.
I don't want to fight anymore..so I'm working on that. I want to respect other folks right to be heard...so I'm working on it. But it's REALLY hard sometimes...really hard. A while back..you yourself said something in a thread that really upset and angered me. I had to "shut it down" and deal with my thoughts on that one rather than get all up in your grill...but I really, really, really wanted to
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I was irritable in early recovery, there are quite a few ways to change though. Why was i angry? Because i wanted to do something that i thought i couldn't and i blamed everyone. Horrible times for anyone who had the misfortune of coming into my life!
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