I pushed through my pain and won!
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
I pushed through my pain and won!
It was one year ago today that my life changed for the better. I was really struggling with life, my relationship, work, sobriety. I was in no way past the devastating abuse I experienced in my relationship. I felt trapped by everything around me and by myself included. I felt solely alone.
Back in June of last year I had reconnected with someone I knew awhile back when I lived in Maine. We had a few discussions about how I should come back to maine. I was not so sure since that was where my additions flourished. It was the scene of the crime. Reminders at every turn of the lows. I mean the low lows as anyone who drinks like me is painfully aware.
Yet this weekend last year I found myself here. Put up in one of the nicest hotels on the water. I spent the Friday in an interview. The interview amounted to a printed schedule that started at 8:30 am and went to 3:30 pm while meeting with 9 different folks to talk about me. I am not the me kind of talker and I knew I had to talk about how wonderful I was and how much I could contribute.
I was not feeling the love at that time. I felt overweight. Dejected. Low. Worthless. Yet here I was sitting in a beautiful atrium in my best suit trying not to perspire.
We can speak of higher powers. I can connect deeply with the idea that something bigger was at play. For some reason, with everything I felt, I also felt strangely open inside this inner vault of mine.
Every word seemed to flow. I read each interviewer with ease. I made them comfortable with me through gentle humor without seeming to try to be funny. I let them feel smart with what I showed interest in learning from them. I played it by the book.
I was done and moist by 3:30. Yep… You read that right. Moist. Yuck!!!!
By the ride back to the hotel exhilarated and tired I could not tell my future. I got a call at 4:30. That's an hour later. I accepted the new job at more money than I ever could hope for. I felt the winds of change at my back. Still my smile was sad. All the changes to come. It was bitter sweet at best.
Fast forward a year. I struggled for the first month or two but got my sober legs under me. I am sitting relaxing before I head in to work with people I respect and people who want to make what we do the best. I love that.
I had a fall or two over the year but I got back at things and took full responsibility for where I am heading. I guess this thread is about simply being grateful. Beyond grateful actually.
Living sober is a life lived fully alive. It's a life lived through resurrection.
Boy I am happy I pushed through that pain a year ago. I have a lot more work to do in the healing process. But wow. Thank you for this day!!!!!
Back in June of last year I had reconnected with someone I knew awhile back when I lived in Maine. We had a few discussions about how I should come back to maine. I was not so sure since that was where my additions flourished. It was the scene of the crime. Reminders at every turn of the lows. I mean the low lows as anyone who drinks like me is painfully aware.
Yet this weekend last year I found myself here. Put up in one of the nicest hotels on the water. I spent the Friday in an interview. The interview amounted to a printed schedule that started at 8:30 am and went to 3:30 pm while meeting with 9 different folks to talk about me. I am not the me kind of talker and I knew I had to talk about how wonderful I was and how much I could contribute.
I was not feeling the love at that time. I felt overweight. Dejected. Low. Worthless. Yet here I was sitting in a beautiful atrium in my best suit trying not to perspire.
We can speak of higher powers. I can connect deeply with the idea that something bigger was at play. For some reason, with everything I felt, I also felt strangely open inside this inner vault of mine.
Every word seemed to flow. I read each interviewer with ease. I made them comfortable with me through gentle humor without seeming to try to be funny. I let them feel smart with what I showed interest in learning from them. I played it by the book.
I was done and moist by 3:30. Yep… You read that right. Moist. Yuck!!!!
By the ride back to the hotel exhilarated and tired I could not tell my future. I got a call at 4:30. That's an hour later. I accepted the new job at more money than I ever could hope for. I felt the winds of change at my back. Still my smile was sad. All the changes to come. It was bitter sweet at best.
Fast forward a year. I struggled for the first month or two but got my sober legs under me. I am sitting relaxing before I head in to work with people I respect and people who want to make what we do the best. I love that.
I had a fall or two over the year but I got back at things and took full responsibility for where I am heading. I guess this thread is about simply being grateful. Beyond grateful actually.
Living sober is a life lived fully alive. It's a life lived through resurrection.
Boy I am happy I pushed through that pain a year ago. I have a lot more work to do in the healing process. But wow. Thank you for this day!!!!!
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Awesome, Ken, that makes me smile with pleasure for your success. We go way back to the beginning, you and I, I remember that time very well.
You have this power inside you now, taking responsibility can be very empowering. I think this bodes very well for you. Congratulations and continued success, my friend.
You have this power inside you now, taking responsibility can be very empowering. I think this bodes very well for you. Congratulations and continued success, my friend.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hey K ,
nice to see you living in glory . I'm sure you can and will build on where you are, even though you might not perceive a way how things can change .
You just don't know what surprises life has in store when you maintain your sobriety and live in freedom .
I have firm faith that things will get better for you as you mature and grow in your sobriety .
Stay strong my friend , m
nice to see you living in glory . I'm sure you can and will build on where you are, even though you might not perceive a way how things can change .
You just don't know what surprises life has in store when you maintain your sobriety and live in freedom .
I have firm faith that things will get better for you as you mature and grow in your sobriety .
Stay strong my friend , m
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