What exactly is 'hitting bottom'
 

Hi. I'm curious about what it means for people to hit 'rock bottom' and is it necessary in order to get the resolve to stop drinking? I feel personally that looking back I may have hit my rock bottom when drinking was making me physically sick. Even though I had created complications in my life it was the physical symptoms that made me stop and is my reason for wanting to stay stopped. Before that happened I wasn't able to do it. I wish I could have.

It is an impossible question.

Like "how long is a piece of string "

It is different in each individual case

I think everyone's rock bottom is different. You have to realize your self when your way of living is destroying yourself. Gotta have an honest moment a see when you become someone you don't like.

My bottom was when I started to feel absolutely dreadful every day. From waking to 5:00 pm at work I would feel very anxious and I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest. I began to sweat heavily when completing simple tasks. I was clammy and my face was flushed red. My digestion was completely out of whack. I had pains in my stomach and on the right side under the ribcage. The only thing that would calm these terrible feelings was drinking when I got home. This worked until it stopped. Drinking stopped calming my nerves and I could no longer achieve an enjoyable buzz. I felt anxious when not drinking and anxious while drinking. Well, anxious is too pleasant of a description. It was a sense of impending doom. I knew I was killing myself and the doctor confirmed this and I still drank another year. If I continued to drink I was going to die by 40 I guarantee it (or much sooner). I am 32 now.

I had suffered injuries, humiliating emails, phone calls, Facebook posts, and even became physically aggressive on a few occasions during blackouts with my guy and friends. The worst anxiety/terror of all was checking my phone the next day. When I would hear the "ding" of a text message later that day my heart would nearly stop beating from fear. Who was texting me? Were they angry? Worried? Disappointed? What had I said? Did I cry during the call about some random topic? Had I lashed out in anger? I could no longer handle feeling embarrassed and worried all the time. Blackouts had become the norm rather than the exception.

I went to work every day and did very well but I was exhausted from keeping up appearances that everything was okay. I was physically drained every day and weekends were spent on the couch recovering from the night before. At 5 pm I would start drinking again and repeat.

My specific bottom was the realization of how detrimental drinking was to my health. I thought of all the people in hospitals who are fighting for their lives while I was sitting at home drinking my life away and actively killing myself by damaging my organs. Throwing my life down the toilet. I knew it was going downhill fast.

That pretty much sums up my "rock bottom."

Some people hit a physical bottom and some hit an emotional bottom.

Mine was emotional. It got the point that mentally functioning was almost impossible. I could no longer maintain. My body was still going, how I am not sure, but my mind was on its way out.

I simply could no longer dig. While I was drinking I kept lower the bar and it could not go any lower. Any lower and the anxiety and the insanity would have taken over. For some, it does. By the grace of God I got help. I always thought I was on the edge and it took one moment of clarity to look around and see that I was not on the edge, I had fallen into the hole a while back and I had no idea how to get out.

I was at the bottom.

I think hitting "your bottom" is when you finally get that crystal clear realisation that you can't carry on doing what you're doing anymore......like Gracie said I think it can be emotional or physical. For a lot of people it is probably the day the doctor says "this WILL kill you if you carry on," could be the day your wife leaves or you're told you can't see your kids any more......I think the bottom is just that final dawning that its all f*cked and you've got no choice but to start to try and claw you're way back to real life or only oblivion is left to look forward to.

I posted above but I can sum up my specific "rock bottom" in one sentence:

On June 27th I woke up to sharp pains in my back and liver area and I just knew in my heart that I had to stop.

When the negative consequences of your drinking make a sufficient emotional impact that it changes the way you think about alcohol.

It isn't necessary for everyone, but unfortunately that's what it takes for the majority of us.

For me it was when I proved to myself I had no control of my drinking.

For me it was a layer type thing, going upwards.

Crap layer after crap layer until I was sitting at the top of my mountain of poo.

So rock bottom, or rock top, all the same. Poo can go in all directions when it hits the fan. LOL!

I've hit rock bottom a few times in my life but was not able to hold onto sobriety for very long. It's like I took my eye off the ball and forgot how important it was. Like I forgot what the purpose of sobriety was for me after a while. For me a different type of rock bottom came into view. Without actually waking up to a disaster of what I'd done while drunk.... I began feeling suicidal. I hadn't had this before. So many times each day I had these flashes in my mind of wanting to be gone. I realized ....I'm so sick of being unhappy. I hated looking in the rear view mirror of my life and trying to remember.... when it was that I did indeed feel more content?. It seemed so far in my past I could barely remember what it was like.

I went to my family doctor. I was prescribed antidepressants. I am not supposed to drink on this medication. I used this as my initial reason to stop drinking now. I'm still so new in sobriety but am trying to put myself first and focus on having the life that I want. Something with more moments of happiness.

Right now I'm on day 12. It still seems so difficult. I am focusing on breathing and being present in the moment. And gratitude. The SR gratitude lists have been very helpful.

Bottom is maybe when things are bad enough that your desire to make a change and not drink exceeds your desire to keep drinking. It is pretty common to see people talking about wanting to quit drinking, and then they keep on drinking or relapsing. Desire to drink has exceeded desire to not drink.

I assume that drinking is invariably a volitional act, because the only time I've ever seen people drinking non-intentionally is in those old Warner Bros cartoons, where someone is at death's door lying in the snow and a big Saint Bernard runs up with one of those "XXX" barrels around its neck and GLUG GLUG GLUG pours some in the guy's mouth and he is magically revived.

That stuff doesn't happen in real life. Because Saint Bernards with booze jugs around their necks are like unicorns, man .. I looked for one for years and never found him.

All I know is I drank myself there more than once and only rarely is it coupled with the fear, clarity and will to live (get sober) that is needed to jump to the other side.

Active alcoholism is bottom. Period. But Im not a quitter and I kept digging.

Every single aspect of my entire existence was affected by the booze, from my health to my relationships to my business. I watched everything deteriorate before my very eyes, and could still not stop.

My self worth was non existent and I acted and interacted accordingly.

How much further down can you fall then complete disdain and hatred of yourself ?

I didn't really hit bottom. I just woke up and decided enough was enough. I have no idea why to be honest. Strange.

For a starter, not caring anymore about what we had as values. Then being unemployable, homeless, no family anymore, ignoring the internal pains that we know are not the result of health food allergies, thinking a cardboard box is your plush apartment and on and on.

Fixable by just not drinking!

Cunning, Powerful and Baffling.


BE WELL

For me, there is only one rock bottom and that is death. Otherwise, there is just a turning point brought on far more frequently by pain than by awareness.

I have not read all the responses. For me a bottom is a set of circumstances caused by my actions or inactions that causes me to reassess my decisions. While bottoms are most commonly associated with getting locked up, divorce, job loss, I found for me realizing how much of myself I had lost was what led me to my moment of clarity.

I had several new bottoms while sober in recovery, all of which led to major growth.

I think I hit bottom a few times. Unless my bottom is a near death experience or some horrible car crash? I know I don't want to drink anymore.

Hitting bottom for me was more of a change in my thinking--I became willing to do anything to stay sober. I became willing to do things that challenged my core beliefs in order to not take a drink. I had become so desperate that I was willing to try things that I did not even think would work.