Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers

My bottom was when I started to feel absolutely dreadful every day. From waking to 5:00 pm at work I would feel very anxious and I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest. I began to sweat heavily when completing simple tasks. I was clammy and my face was flushed red. My digestion was completely out of whack. I had pains in my stomach and on the right side under the ribcage. The only thing that would calm these terrible feelings was drinking when I got home. This worked until it stopped. Drinking stopped calming my nerves and I could no longer achieve an enjoyable buzz. I felt anxious when not drinking and anxious while drinking. Well, anxious is too pleasant of a description. It was a sense of impending doom. I knew I was killing myself and the doctor confirmed this and I still drank another year. If I continued to drink I was going to die by 40 I guarantee it (or much sooner). I am 32 now.

I had suffered injuries, humiliating emails, phone calls, Facebook posts, and even became physically aggressive on a few occasions during blackouts with my guy and friends. The worst anxiety/terror of all was checking my phone the next day. When I would hear the "ding" of a text message later that day my heart would nearly stop beating from fear. Who was texting me? Were they angry? Worried? Disappointed? What had I said? Did I cry during the call about some random topic? Had I lashed out in anger? I could no longer handle feeling embarrassed and worried all the time. Blackouts had become the norm rather than the exception.

I went to work every day and did very well but I was exhausted from keeping up appearances that everything was okay. I was physically drained every day and weekends were spent on the couch recovering from the night before. At 5 pm I would start drinking again and repeat.

My specific bottom was the realization of how detrimental drinking was to my health. I thought of all the people in hospitals who are fighting for their lives while I was sitting at home drinking my life away and actively killing myself by damaging my organs. Throwing my life down the toilet. I knew it was going downhill fast.

That pretty much sums up my "rock bottom."

Originally Posted by Hawks

It is an impossible question.

Like "how long is a piece of string "

Originally Posted by Chilledice

In my opinion rock bottom regarding alcoholism is death, its the final stop so to speak!

However with that being said my worst experience with the booze was when one morning I woke up SERIOUSLY hungover and felt out of my mind, hard to explain but I didn't feel like I was in reality ( maybe still drunk ? ) I was TERRIFIED in my room crying on the floor making this weird long scream coming outta my mouth. My mother came in and had to cradle me and rock me back n forth as if I was a newborn baby, I was 28 at the time! Terrified out of my mind with my eyes wide open, it truly was a land of madness I was in!

Never wanna be in that place again!

Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers

Wow, thank you for sharing.

I can relate to the hangovers. They turned into some bizarre, dark, nightmare where I felt like I was disconnected from the world. Paranoia, immense sadness, and even irrational thoughts. Never again!

Originally Posted by b086

i heard it said that a bottom happens when your circumstances worsen faster than you can lower your expectations..

Originally Posted by DefconOne

The bottom? Its different for everybody. For me I became a PUD (Physically Unable to Drink). I was nearly dead from alcohol abuse. Alcohol burned my mind, body, and soul. I was done with dying. I see many people who 'want' to quit but in the end they need more time in the zombie grave that alcohol digs for them. You really have two choices as a PUD, continue to drink and die, or get treatment.