When is this going away?
 

Hola everybody: I am home alone with my daughter. I will be alone for a couple of days. She's already in bed and it is so weird that the first thing that came to my mind is "You could have a drink, nobody would know. Just a couple, it's an easy day tomorrow at work". I'm NOT going to do it but, when are these thoughts going to go away? And once they are in it is like I obsess about thinking about it. I am also going to a bachelorette party this weekend but I know I'm gonna be okay with that it is right now because nobody would find out that I would drink.

When is my thought process going to change? I can't help what pops into my mind. I hate it.

For me those thoughts lessened with time. Do you follow any kind of a program other than SR?

I logged on here whenever I felt especially alone and left to my own devices. The good camaraderie and advice filled the void.

I have to be honest, they took a long time to go away for me.
They got easier and easier to deal with though :)

I did learn, pretty quickly, that having the thoughts and acting on them were two different things.

Thats not the issue tho. YOU would know.

It doesn't make it less tragic that noone else would know...it makes it more tragic.

Whatever support you have, use it :)

If you think you need more there a range of face to face recovery approaches that could help?

There are a lot of cravings strategies too - I particularly recommend urge surfing for realising that we can think it., but we don't need to act on it :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

D

For some people it fades with time, for some, the obsession remains.

Time will tell if you don't drink for long enough to find out which type you are.

Had exactly the same thought and no support anywhere at the time.
I just thought the opposite, closed my eyes ( this was in a very crowded public place) and thought the word, "God".
Sat down, had a coffee and the impulse and thoughts of drink eventually evaporated. Then other good things happened till the end of the day and just glad I did not act on the drink thought.
My mind still tries to "trick" me, but the "nobody would know" trick has never repeated itself since that moment.
I know, it comes out of nowhere, the alcoholic mind will do this.

It also makes it tragic that you think you think no one else would know like ...really ?

my av and ego want to kill me

well said D

It's effed up. I know I'm never drinking again. I am serious. It's just a little sickening that in my mind it would come up, the "nobody would know". I would know. Im just a little surprised now that I recognize my AV. It's weird. Before I would say things like "what does it matter if I have a couple drinks here and there everybody else drinks" or "I deserve this drink because of blah blah blah....". I think about the second to last time I drank on my baby's 3rd bday (after she went down)and then the last a week later when I tried to moderate and blacked out and walked and took a cab and don't even remember getting home (I was home alone that night). I feel disgusted and scared. I feel so happy sober and I mention it a lot to people but it is just strange to get these thoughts. It makes me almost disappointed at myself but I keep saying that I can't help what pops into my head I can only help but I actually do.

I only do SR and haven't been to any AA meeting or anything like that. I did have to do a alcohol treatment program for the DUI I got back into thousand and two.

If you think you need more support there's a lot of programmes available

here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

D

The longer you remain sober the less you will think about Alcohol.

For me it took a few months,everybody is different,post here on SR if the thoughts get overwhelming.I attend AA,in my early days I had a long list of people I could call.

Thanks for the link Dee. I'll check it out.

It's a whole buncha links but you might find something there that appeals :)

D

Our addiction is like some friggin critter in our brain. I'm just over 3 months sober and it still makes it's appearances but mostly when I'm in some sort of emotional duress. Sobriety is all about "tangling" with it and getting on through to the other side. As times passes it loses its voice. I think it's probably best that we accept that it's gonna live there like an annoying neighbor for awhile. Eventually it doesn't bother you anymore..it gives up.

I think that we have to look at those thoughts as part of our disease. We can't stop the thoughts from popping into our heads but we can "train" ourselves to recognize them for what they are and to respond to them in a healthy way. Maybe, give AVRT a try?

I am not an addict so my words are probably empty. I did quit smoking once for fourteen years and went back this time I quit six years ago and tonight smelled a cigarette and thought it smelled soooo good. If its anything like that I am guessing it will diminish with time. I am posting to offer support in this battle and praise you for how far you have come.

I think I was around six months sober when I noticed that I didn't have those thoughts anymore. Were gone completely in a year. Now I rarely hear it, and when I do, the thoughts are easily dismissed. :)