Jus

I'll never get why it is, when someone says, they don't want to drink, it can't be left at that. Without feeling the need to explain, why you don't want to drink.

Why they need to keep egging you on to have A drink, then say, one won't hurt you.

You repeatedly say, no thank you, and don't feel the need to explain, why. I just don't want one, thank you!!

Funny thing about this, if someone offered you a coffee, tea, soda, etc, and you said no thanks, there would be no big issue over it. They wouldn't go on about....oh come on, one won't hurt you.

From past experiences I was confronted with it, to finally cave, convincing myself, yeah you're right, one won't hurt, only to slip rapidly back into the same rotten trap.

Today it's different, I politely, say, "No thanks," and leave it at that, asking if I could have a glass of lemon water.

So what is it? I wonder.

anattaboy

Some really are pulling for you but most want you to be as miserable as them-neither know.

herradura

I have been getting this a lot, as I used to be a heavy drinker. Now I just say, no,, I am good thanks. Then if they persist I say you know what, I have had about 25000 drinks and they just aren't appealing anymore. But I would like a diet pop, water etc. Have not had one person say anything after I give them the 25000 spiel. It works for now.

least

Perhaps the people urging you to drink have drinking problems themselves. Misery loves company.

Jupiters

I know I have said this before, but man o man, SO glad I don't have to deal with this crap! I don't have a huge circle of friends I go out with (that's a whole different topic) but the few friends I have, would never ever say this to me. Or family.
The odd person who made a comment about how they felt "sorry" for me was a friend of a friend. LOL
Pity? really? you pity me b/c I don't drink?
*talk to the hand*

luvmygirls

I know this sounds weird, but are you really nice about it? Even when someone offers me dessert and I don't want it, I start out friendly but sometimes I have to say, "no seriously, I really don't want it" in a firm voice.

Jupiters

*stern voice and intimidating stare*

ScottFromWI

I found that i needed to stay away from those kinds of people, especially in my early recovery. They do not have your best interests in mind obviously.

countrygirl2014

Working in a bar...I get this all the time. Interview Monday. I like my job but it is toxic for me

Anna

I love this!

AncientMariner

You don't want me to have that one drink my friend...for your own sake as well as mine.


Father Ted - Henry Sellers - YouTube

AncientMariner

You don't want me to have that one drink my friend...for your own sake as well as mine.


Father Ted - Henry Sellers - YouTube

lifereturning

Alcohol is the only drink you have to justify not drinking to others.
People will ask you: "Why? Do you have a problem / are you alcoholic?"
This shifts the attention away from other drinkers who may, quite reasonably, be drinking in more moderate amounts than you have been doing recently. What is not considered is that these same people may be at risk at different times in their life, be that in the short or longer term. (or may already be in trouble due to drinking).

Jus

Thanks for your replies. Good stuff!!

This especially goes out to the newcomers, something you need to be aware of.

The reason, I started this thread, is because I was thinking back years ago. I thought when you quit drinking, you just quit, you didn't have to do anything about it. Sure I heard about AA, but heck no, that wasn't for me, no way, no how, was I an alkie, I was a good Catholic Girl lol, they don't drink, right?

Anyway, this was years ago, when I realized, I had a problem. I hadn't drank for a couple of months, it was going great, and I was doing it on my own.

A friend came over, because it was my birthday, and she had some wine coolers. I told her, no thanks, I didn't want any. She kept at me, and I said, no thanks, that I hadn't drank for a couple of months, and didn't want any. BUT, she wouldn't let up, kept telling me, one wouldn't hurt. So, yeah, I had that ONE, and off, I went again.

So our Dear, Newcomers, heed the warning. Find a program, that works for you. And if you're ever confronted with this issue, don't bother looking for excuses, as to why you don't want a drink. There's no need to explain that to anyone, stand your ground.

I think it's rare when a person, stays sober, doing it on their own.

bunnezjp

"No thank you. I'm an alcoholic."

I used that line recently because the asker was persistent. They shut their yap pretty quick.

Bunnez

biminiblue

A lot of people do not drink at all.

They don't have an excuse nearby. They just don't drink.

Giving in or having one for someone else will end badly for me. That someone else won't be there to pick up the pieces, either.

MyTime86

Yea it gets annoying. I had such a reputation as a drinker it's was weird to them that I suddenly stopped, I feel like they egg me on because they didn't believe I was actually going to quit for good, my friends have gotten a lot better but I know next weekend when I go to a friends wedding I'll be asked by atleast 10 people why I'm not drinking. Can't wait to tell the to F off

Admiral

I enjoyed reading this and think it applies to this situation.

15 things you don't owe anyone.

15 Things You Don't Owe Anyone At All (Though You Think You Do)

MarathonMan

I think part of it is that people with out our alcoholic disease just can't comprehend what we battle....i don't think its anything to do with their own alcohol issues I think the egging on is from the other end of the scale, people cant understand the not being able to stop after one so see no harm in trying to convince you to have just 1. remember for normal people drinking is a social experience. Many times ive been egged on to dance at a party or have a burger when im on a diet, because people are social in the things they do and want their friends to join in. We as alcoholics become a bit precious about our issue (through necessity I believe), normal people will never really get the difficulty that gentle bit of peer pressure causes us. It's best to take it on the chin, they are not responsible for our issues so probably find the egging on and slight joking at our expense all in good humour

AncientMariner

How many active alcoholics are out there drinking right now? How many problem drinkers are out there right now? How many people's lives are being ruined by alcohol right now? How many couples put on a happy front in front of everyone but are suffering a silent, living hell behind closed doors because one of them has a problem with the bottle?

...and how many times does the 'recovering alcoholic', the person in 'recovery', the guy or girl 'on the wagon' pass these people while they are having a drink or under the influence and think to themselves....'oh those lucky normal drinkers....'?

Really people?

How many times have you being in the middle of a drunken bender and you have that feeling deep inside you that what your doing is unbelievably stupid? I know I had that feeling so many times...did I try to encourage people to stay out drinking with me? Of course I did....when you know what you're doing is fundamentally stupid, it doesn't feel so terrible if someone else is doing the same thing....

One person drinking alone is a problem drinker. If he is drinking with another person it's sociable.

All addicts know what they're doing is incredibly reckless and stupid but they can't seem to stop. So why not drag someone down with them.

No 'normal drinker' has ever encouraged me to take a drink. Only people with a big appetite for alcohol.