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Incredible - I can't wrap my head around this

Old 09-23-2014, 03:50 PM
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Incredible - I can't wrap my head around this

My wife's cousin - 20 years sober had two shots of tequila with his other cousin because he kept pestering him. Forget about the d-ck pesterer, how does one throw away 20 years? Similarly, why has he not continued drinking since last week? Is he being totally honest about twenty years? I just can't believe it - unfathomable
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Old 09-23-2014, 03:54 PM
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I find it a lot easier not to wonder and worry about other people DrunkTx.

I know if that had been me, I'd be in a world of pain right now...that's all I really have to know

D
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Old 09-23-2014, 03:55 PM
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Makes little sense. However, it only takes an instant to pour a drink and toss it back. Any one of us could go out right now and do the same.

I would bet he's been thinking about doing it for a while, whether he's aware of it or not. Relapse is usually a spiraling out of control that we work ourselves up to. I know I did. Getting from point A to point B wasn't a short, straight shot.

That said, how does this affect you?
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Old 09-23-2014, 04:19 PM
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I think from the point of view of struggling and trying to string a few days/weeks/months of Sobriety together, the idea of "throwing" away 20 years can be craziness!!

But there probably was a reason to it, everything has a reason, but speculating isn't going to provide the answer!!

Our Sobriety and our path is the most important thing to focus on!!
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Old 09-23-2014, 04:21 PM
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Everyone is diffrent

i understand where your coming from but just worry about you
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Old 09-23-2014, 04:25 PM
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Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
Everyone is diffrent

i understand where your coming from but just worry about you
I agree with Soberwolf. Focus on you!
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Old 09-23-2014, 04:26 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberJennie View Post

That said, how does this affect you?
That is the real question, isn't it. I guess it threw me a curve ball. right or wrong, i have put recovering alcoholics on a bit of a pedestal. I feel like we have so much perspective and truth, all grounded in the one true guarantee: the next drink will kill us. this burden is even more prominent in my mind with old timers - 20 year veterans who give me hope I can do it. I guess seeing him drink, shook my foundation. the fact that he hasn't touched a lick since (5 days) put the obvious doubt in my mind too......is it possible??????

when I catch myself, I snap out of it, but I definitely needed some insulation, hence I came to SR and posted. maybe all I need to hear is: to each their own, and no, just one drink is not possible. I love my nearly three years of sobriety, and wouldn't trade for anything......maybe my knees just quivered for a second.
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Old 09-23-2014, 05:03 PM
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I have come to realise that a "drink " (or more) will not physically kill an alcoholic who drinks again.

Drinking yourself to death takes much more than one spree.

We "die" in a metaphorical sense (at first)

Swap our new thinking for old thinking.

Our new thinking is what actually dies.

Physical death doesn't come straight away.

But it very likely will if we don't "resurrect" or bring back to life our new thinking and persist with the old ideas.

That is one thing I learnt from my relapse.

My first sponsors wife drank again after 22 years.

She started slowly too, but after 3 months, it was back to where she left off 22 years ago.

Alcohol is a subtle foe.

Hope that helps.
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Old 09-23-2014, 05:13 PM
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Who knows, Drunk, the gods must be crazy. Best not to judge and keep on pluggin', because you, Sir, sound like you're processing it just fine. Keep on your path

Bunnez
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Old 09-23-2014, 05:19 PM
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Originally Posted by DrunkTx View Post
That is the real question, isn't it. I guess it threw me a curve ball. right or wrong, i have put recovering alcoholics on a bit of a pedestal. I feel like we have so much perspective and truth, all grounded in the one true guarantee: the next drink will kill us. this burden is even more prominent in my mind with old timers - 20 year veterans who give me hope I can do it. I guess seeing him drink, shook my foundation. the fact that he hasn't touched a lick since (5 days) put the obvious doubt in my mind too......is it possible??????

when I catch myself, I snap out of it, but I definitely needed some insulation, hence I came to SR and posted. maybe all I need to hear is: to each their own, and no, just one drink is not possible. I love my nearly three years of sobriety, and wouldn't trade for anything......maybe my knees just quivered for a second.
I understand. It is scary to realize it could all be thrown away in an instant like that.

I try and keep in mind I am responsible for my sobriety. And that I always have the choice to go back out and drink or not. I keep in the forefront of my memory what happens when I drink a few. It's rarely a few. And sometimes it ends in complete disaster. So am I willing to play with fire? Nope. I've been burned one too many times
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Old 09-23-2014, 08:52 PM
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About 15 years ago my oldest sister was sober for several years, was active in AA, etc. She resumed drinking for reasons unknown and continues to drink to this day, probably on a daily basis. She has maintained a job, seems to be happy, and though she may drink more than she should (3-4 a night), does not appear to have suffered any consequences or had the wheels come off.

I haven't asked her about it, the experience, why she chose to drink again, whether she obsesses, etc. Obviously, I've thought about it. But my take on it is that regardless what her situation is or may appear to be has no bearing on my ability to drink normally.

This Saturday, I will be married for the first time at 48 - something that I never thought would happen. I have more friends than ever in my life, I like who I am and the world around me. Assuming I continue to do what I have been doing, in December I will celebrate 5 years sobriety. What I have gained in sobriety is too valuable to risk on the possibility that I can drink normally - I honestly don't know that I ever did in the first place. And the potential of going back to where I left off... unthinkable.
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Old 09-23-2014, 08:55 PM
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Congrats on your marriage, Eddie!
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Old 09-23-2014, 08:59 PM
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Originally Posted by DrunkTx View Post

why has he not continued drinking since last week?
He by far is not out of the woods yet. In my past when I tempted the devil such as he has, it was not long before I was back in his grip.

MM
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Old 09-23-2014, 09:06 PM
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At least he hasn't drank again!!! People are human!!!!!!
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Old 09-23-2014, 09:17 PM
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It seems people put too much importance on the amount of days, weeks, months, or years in a row without a drink. Does a couple shots throw 20 years away, and now he has to start over from day one?

That's a little discouraging, but seems to be how most people look at it. I remember thinking that last the time I tried to quit and had a couple beers. "Well, my 5 weeks is broken. Might as well keep on going."
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Old 09-23-2014, 09:24 PM
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I know two women from SR who got sober and then lived the rest of their lives 20 or 30 years solid in recovery.

I also know several current members who have 30 years plus recovery and I'm proud to know them.

I know one guy who drank again after 27 years and died by his own hand...I know others here who barely got back to sobriety, and I had one very good close friend who only ever managed maybe 6 months or so in the years before she died.

My point is...we're all human beings...we all have different experiences DT.

Based on the people who inspired me then, and still inspire me today, I think continued recovery relies on continued effort and commitment.

If the only thing going for you in recovery is your day count, that may not be enough?

I really hope your wife's cousin ends up OK in all of this.

D


Originally Posted by DrunkTx View Post
That is the real question, isn't it. I guess it threw me a curve ball. right or wrong, i have put recovering alcoholics on a bit of a pedestal. I feel like we have so much perspective and truth, all grounded in the one true guarantee: the next drink will kill us. this burden is even more prominent in my mind with old timers - 20 year veterans who give me hope I can do it. I guess seeing him drink, shook my foundation. the fact that he hasn't touched a lick since (5 days) put the obvious doubt in my mind too......is it possible??????

when I catch myself, I snap out of it, but I definitely needed some insulation, hence I came to SR and posted. maybe all I need to hear is: to each their own, and no, just one drink is not possible. I love my nearly three years of sobriety, and wouldn't trade for anything......maybe my knees just quivered for a second.
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Old 09-23-2014, 09:39 PM
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Personally speaking, having one or two drinks would not send me off on a binge because I was never a binge drinker. It would break a mental barrier though, and allow me to start slowly and ramp up, as has happened many times in my past. I hope this doesn't happen to your cousin.
You have to wonder about the mentality of the person trying to get him to drink though. Will he be satisfied if your cousin relapses?
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