Fear - the wasted emotion of an Alcoholic
 

Hi All,

It's been awhile since I posted. I'll give you three guesses why, but you'll only need one lol.

I finally went to my doctor today.

I made the appointment a couple of weeks ago and have been dreading it. What will he say? Will he berate me for making poor choices? Will he tell me that my health problems are self-inflicted? How am I possibly going to explain everything thoroughly in a 15 minute time slot?

I have been hovering on the verge of insanity for months now. I knew that my blubbering idiot self was not going to reliably and rationally relay my situation. I was also fearful of the look of condemnation that I might see in his eyes, this man who saw me through two pregnancies and a minor (LMAO) case of cancer.
So I decided this morning to write him a letter to take to my appointment. I laid myself bare in it, leaving nothing out. When I registered at his office, I asked that he read it prior to my appointment.

I sat there in his office, preparing myself for a shameful, though deserved lashing. When he came in, he sat down, told me that he was glad to see me, and then said "So what are WE going to do to get you through this? What do you think you need? Let's compare ideas and see what we come up with together."

Seriously? No lecture? I'm not a loser? Nope, apparently I'm not.

I went in with fear and shame, and came out with hope, support and a plan.

Don't let your fear set you back as much as I let mine. It's not worth your time and effort, trust me.

Pure Doctor awesomeness right there. That's what they should all be about.
Helping and not judging.

Not sure why people fear Doctors, they are there to help and provide treatment, in the end better to lay it all out, deal with the facts!!

What did we have to loose?!! ;)

Thanks for sharing this. I have had a lot of anxiety this past year, knowing that my alcohol abuse may be taking a toll on my health so I keep putting off going to the Dr. I did go to the OB Gyn a couple of months ago, and she saw my weight was up but gave me no judgement. I was grateful for that. I am glad that you have the support of your Dr. as well as the people here on SR.

Honestly, the doctor is the very last person I'd be ashamed of telling about my addiction. That's what they're there for. If something's affecting your health they want to know about it.

Did he come up with anything that sounded like it would work for you?

I recently got to see the doctor who i first opened up to it was by chance and he's retiring soon
When i was waiting in reception a man i held the door open for walked by with a glance and thanked me it was that doctor we both didnt realise at the time tho (i think)

anyways when i was called the first thing i said was do you remember me ?

He said of course called me by my first name and kindly said sit down

we had a good 20 minute conversation while he examined my ear i told him how grateful i was and i could tell he was impressed it was a great feeling

and i have had serious problems with doctors all my life its a shame hes retiring but it gives me hope that there are good doctors out there its hard trying to talk build rapor with shift docs you they are always changing