frightening blackout
 

This is my first post on this site and am desperate for some advice. I have always liked a drink, I'm 33 and have two children. On Saturday I went to my friends house, I very rarely go out. The last thing I remember is my friend opening a bottle of prosecco, that was about 8 pm, the next thing I remember is being sat on the couch at my house with my mum and dad, this was at 2am. In between I have no recollection and it has scared the life out of me. I was violent to my partner and threw him out of the house, I was horrible to my friends and my mum.

I am usually a calm person and would never physically attack anyone this has really frifrightened me.

Hi marina!!! Glad you posted! It's time girl! Make it your bottom and start climbing up again. Thank your lucky stars your family was kind enough not to
Lock your butt up, thank them for that. I am a mom too and understand the guilt And remorse when it comes to kids, I am waking up daily without that guilt now and it is freeing!!!! Hang in girl!!! This is something you can do!

Thank you EJ42, I feel like I can naver drink again, I was always a big drinker before I had my youngest son but nothing like this has ever happened and I clearly have no tolerance for alcohol anymore. I really don't want to put my children through that again.

Good for you for coming here and posting. I'm a mom too, and the worst part is definitely the impact it has on the kids (even if they don't seem to be affected...I need to keep reminding myself of that!) Take care.

Idk what it is, but I'm the same as you. I was a big drinker for a long time, but only started to have regular blackouts since I've been in my 30s. Unfortunately, I've had quite a few more than you :-(.

I agree they are so scary and definitely not worth the pain and suffering we inflict on our loved ones or ourselves. So glad you are here and trying to get help <3

You came to the right place. Welcome!

I just can't believe how badly I behaved, my friend said it was like I was possessed. I feel so vulnerable and alone.

Hi marina,

Blackouts are dangerous and terrifying, and they get worse, ( trust me on that one.) The good news is that this can be your last blackout. Make amends to those you offended and frightened, and then find a good support system to help you climb out of the hole.

Towards the end of my spiral I literally would blackout on even 2-3 drinks. I had no tolerance at all. This disease is progressive. You are still young....enjoy the rest of your sober life!

Thank you all I clearly can never drink again as I cannot put my family or myself through that again

Hello and welcome.
You're not alone here. I've come out of some blackouts in very strange places. Woke up not knowing who the person sleeping with me was. In very bad areas of town ect..
I was a heavy drinker and blackouts were common. I had so many I couldn't count them.
I'm you were at least safe when you came to. Sometimes I wasn't.

They're tough to live down when you don't even know what you did or said. It's kind of hard to make amends when you don't even remember what you're making them for.
Blackouts can be a sign of a problem with alcohol. Has your drinking increased?
Mine did. Until I crossed that thin line into alcoholism. That's when the trouble started.

You'll find a lot of support here, and best to you.

Marina, you aren't alone here. I have had
More blackouts than I can count. We get it here.

Don't be ashamed. Sure, its horrible that stuff like that happens. However, I believe the real you is not the one who blacked out and acted unkindly. The real you is the one that is feeling bad about it. Just try to not fall deeper. From what is sounds you can still save yourself from many regrets. Would you rather see these episodes become common ? Probably not. Keep trying and see this for what it is: Just a bump in the road. And remember, It is not over until you win.

Best wishes for you

No my drinking has decreased in the last few years, but I have lost a lot of weight and don't know whether this is a factor. It now only seems to take one glass of wine for me to be drunk where I used to be able to drink a bottle and still feel sober. I have lost 3st could this be a factor? Even though I don't feel like I am an alcoholic, I don't feel dependant on it, but I do feel like it no longer agrees with me and I would be a better person without it.

Marina we've all been there! I once tried to throw my fiancé out of our house and had no recollection the next day. It's a horrible feeling but you will make peace with it particularly now you've made the decision to stop drinking, I did at least! Be kind to yourself too-alcohol turns me into a beast and I have no control over myself xx

Just the fact that you feel you would be a better person without it is a sign that you have to do something about this. Maybe you are an alcoholic maybe not, but your drinking is not making you happy.

Best wishes for you

There is no doubt in my head that I cannot drink again, cannot put my family through it, especially if I can never be certain that it wouldn't happen again.

welcome marina - you're not alone :)
My blackouts got significantly worse the last year of my binging. They are scary, very scary. It's definitely not worth the risk of drinking again on the off chance that happens again. I hope that your family understands and is going to support you.
keep posting!

Hi Marina sounds like you got a sharp wake up call i want to let you know first off welcome to sober recovery and try not to to dwell on past incidents its happened now only thing we can change is now

look around get involved welcome to recovery....really nice to meet you

You are getting drunk more quickly now, because alcoholism is a progressive disease.

I had blackouts at the end of my drinking days and they are horribly scary, and especially if you are a female, it can put you in very dangerous situations.

Thanks again, I hope my family will support me but my partner enjoys a beer and I worry it will not be as wasy with him drinking in the house. He said he wouldn't but less than 24 hrs later he was cracking a can sat next to me on the couch. I fear that this will be a long and challenging road if I want to not drink, it may cost me my relationship